Massive Regrets Frustration - you’re my only hope

[ShelleyBelley 8]

I have joined this forum simply for one reason. A post I saw and YOU. The kind reader who I hope can offer absolutely any advice, help, insight - anything!
I can be honest and say immediately, thank you for any reply and I’m desperate for your reply with insight.

im just about to look into posting my story but could not do so without first attempting to seek any help I can before I literally lose the plot!

I am now around 16 weeks post mini gastric bypass. Valentines Day I underwent the surgeons scalpels

I paid privately after the usual circumstances of hitting rock bottom and saying quite literally… ENOUGH! Money is not plentiful and I used my small inheritance from my late father. Lucky, I was able to do so.

but… I’m struggling. I have zero support network with experience. A loving family yes but no one I feel can validate or reassure me.

I have medical study experience but not enough experience or knowledge to explain my symptoms away.

my most recent message I’m still awaiting reply to from my surgeons medical secretary as follows:-

Hi (name removed for anonymity)

Did you receive my message yesterday please?

I spoke to the Dieticians yesterday too and they’ve arranged a consultation with surgeon to discuss further issues. Next Wednesday. I am hoping to attend in person but currently struggling with flu type symptoms.

I don’t have other people who have had bariatric surgery to speak to who could be a support network or provide support. Do you know if there is a professional forum, overseen contact group or other network or other supportive services? I don’t feel I am having a good recovery and feel I am struggling. Plus, I feel I am that poorly now perhaps I was dismissed too readily or swiftly in my previous contacts.

I am losing weight much much faster than all my peers I read. I’ve lost over 4 stones in just 13 weeks. Far too fast and I’m drained, lethargic, can barely hold my head up (albeit have flu too) but in May too! Not normally a fluey month as the norm?? Infact, I microsecond passed out yesterday and cracked my head on our bathroom sink - simply due to standing up from the loo!

I do not have a supportive GP or GP surgery and am currently in the process of changing surgeries now BUT am writing to them and conducting a private appointment firstly as I do not trust full follow through handover transparency. My surgery requires professional evidence or correspondence of everything to even follow up. For example, they have borderline eGFR results and two scans showing kidney stone and cyst in situ YET won’t conduct further tests or refer until surgeon sends a letter too! It’s absurd! it’s the main reason I paid to get this surgery completed to try to be well and improve my life and stay away from GP Doctors who possibly practiced nothing more than general medicine for 5 years!

I’m constantly having to contact you directly, but seem dismissed by quotes of it’s week 4, or week 6, or only week 8 or now it’s only week 16, go back to Soups and fluids, try a quarter of an egg instead of a full
Egg. I’ve gone back to fluids only 3 times now! When then can I tolerate real food? Something I can use my teeth with would be nice now?

I cant eat any meat barely at all now, (not even minced), swallowing gets more difficult, indigestion, heartburn is agony, my nails are like paper, my periods have disappeared completely albeit this could be normal as I’m 10 years post menopausal, my face is gray and sallowed. I look like death. I’ve just returned back from holiday but spent 5 days in bed due to tummy pain, bowel problems, agonising indigestion, feeling unwell. I also take 3 x baricol chewables a day, a Multivitamin tablet and a calcichew a day. I’ve read everything I can find, researched this surgery for 6 months prior to having it, watched videos on YouTube, nothing seems to validate or reassure me. I studied medicine myself for 2 years albeit I know this is extra bit of knowledge of human anatomy and practice,

I certainly do not have the knowledge to explain my symptoms away. I know this is not psychological as I cannot tolerate warm, cold, mashed, puréed, anything I’ve been told to try and going back a step to try again. When then am I to carry on until? Perhaps until I pass out again or end up in A&E on a drip?

I cant get anything down me. If I do manage one meal a day, it’s a quarter of a starter portion and I’ll nearly always vomit it back up or experience the pain in my tummy or severely painful heartburn or severely offensive and debilitating flatulence.

How long until I can eat?
How long until I can drink plentiful fluids without issues? Ie. More than 500 ml in a 24 hour period?
How long until I feel well?
How long until I can eat what my family eats albeit in a starter portion? A healthy clean hearty non processed meal!
How long until I look and feel well?
How long until I can eat without severely offensive flatulence? It’s disgusting and far too painful to keep inside or even attempt to get to a more private location! Once it’s there, it’s impossible to hide and I don’t feel confident even in taking my children to school!
How long will my stools be pale yellow or grey?
How long will this horrendous pain in my tummy last? Because it’s interfering with my daily life now too. I’m now buying omaprezol over the counter. Lamazeprol isn’t available over the counter like I was advised yesterday.

How long until I can sleep a full
Night without being woken by agonising heartburn or stomach pain?

These are the questions I’d like to ask a support network rather than mither yourself, to then mither surgeon to then mither dieticians or worse my GP.

I’m getting very frustrated now, mainly through a lack of support I think. I don’t like to join public forums or online networks normally but I don’t feel I can get the answers of validation or reassurance currently. Yet, I’ve paid over £12000 for the surgery and 2 years post surgery support. Where is the support please?

Once I receive your reply I’ll
Know whether to mention the letter requirements in my appointment too.

I am so sorry I have to keep contacting you, mithering surgeon but I’m getting frustrated and upset now. I want to be well not worse. Plus, the more issues, symptoms I have the more neurotic I feel, yet I have nowhere else to ask.

Regards

So after reading this I hope you or anyone could offer some guidance or insight.

simply put I am also at my wits end and do not want to regret this life changing surgery but I’m beginning to do so with intent and massive frustration.

looking forward to any replies. ❤️❤️💕💕💞

[LindsayT 551]

First off, I want to say you're not alone. I'm only a few weeks post op, so I cannot yet provide answers to what you're going through, but I can be a friend. There are many people on here, though, that can give advice, support, and answers to your questions.

[CatLady0626 45]

I’m so sorry to hear of your difficulties after surgery. This sounds like more than one should have to experience.

I am not a physician however I do work in healthcare. Maybe some of these symptoms can be attributed to the surgery, but perhaps you also have a gastrointestinal illness as well. You did mention flu-like symptoms, do you also have fever?

I truly hope your providers look further into your case. I’m so sorry you don’t feel heard. Best wishes.

[summerseeker 1,852]

I have joined this forum simply for one reason. A post I saw and YOU. The kind reader who I hope can offer absolutely any advice, help, insight - anything!
I can be honest and say immediately, thank you for any reply and I’m desperate for your reply with insight.
im just about to look into posting my story but could not do so without first attempting to seek any help I can before I literally lose the plot!
I am now around 16 weeks post mini gastric bypass. Valentines Day I underwent the surgeons scalpels
I paid privately after the usual circumstances of hitting rock bottom and saying quite literally… ENOUGH! Money is not plentiful and I used my small inheritance from my late father. Lucky, I was able to do so.

but… I’m struggling. I have zero support network with experience. A loving family yes but no one I feel can validate or reassure me.
I have medical study experience but not enough experience or knowledge to explain my symptoms away.
my most recent message I’m still awaiting reply to from my surgeons medical secretary as follows:-
Hi (name removed for anonymity)
Did you receive my message yesterday please?
I spoke to the Dieticians yesterday too and they’ve arranged a consultation with surgeon to discuss further issues. Next Wednesday. I am hoping to attend in person but currently struggling with flu type symptoms.
I don’t have other people who have had bariatric surgery to speak to who could be a support network or provide support. Do you know if there is a professional forum, overseen contact group or other network or other supportive services? I don’t feel I am having a good recovery and feel I am struggling. Plus, I feel I am that poorly now perhaps I was dismissed too readily or swiftly in my previous contacts.
I am losing weight much much faster than all my peers I read. I’ve lost over 4 stones in just 13 weeks. Far too fast and I’m drained, lethargic, can barely hold my head up (albeit have flu too) but in May too! Not normally a fluey month as the norm?? Infact, I microsecond passed out yesterday and cracked my head on our bathroom sink - simply due to standing up from the loo!
I do not have a supportive GP or GP surgery and am currently in the process of changing surgeries now BUT am writing to them and conducting a private appointment firstly as I do not trust full follow through handover transparency. My surgery requires professional evidence or correspondence of everything to even follow up. For example, they have borderline eGFR results and two scans showing kidney stone and cyst in situ YET won’t conduct further tests or refer until surgeon sends a letter too! It’s absurd! it’s the main reason I paid to get this surgery completed to try to be well and improve my life and stay away from GP Doctors who possibly practiced nothing more than general medicine for 5 years!
I’m constantly having to contact you directly, but seem dismissed by quotes of it’s week 4, or week 6, or only week 8 or now it’s only week 16, go back to Soups and fluids, try a quarter of an egg instead of a full
Egg. I’ve gone back to fluids only 3 times now! When then can I tolerate real food? Something I can use my teeth with would be nice now?
I cant eat any meat barely at all now, (not even minced), swallowing gets more difficult, indigestion, heartburn is agony, my nails are like paper, my periods have disappeared completely albeit this could be normal as I’m 10 years post menopausal, my face is gray and sallowed. I look like death. I’ve just returned back from holiday but spent 5 days in bed due to tummy pain, bowel problems, agonising indigestion, feeling unwell. I also take 3 x baricol chewables a day, a Multivitamin tablet and a calcichew a day. I’ve read everything I can find, researched this surgery for 6 months prior to having it, watched videos on YouTube, nothing seems to validate or reassure me. I studied medicine myself for 2 years albeit I know this is extra bit of knowledge of human anatomy and practice,
I certainly do not have the knowledge to explain my symptoms away. I know this is not psychological as I cannot tolerate warm, cold, mashed, puréed, anything I’ve been told to try and going back a step to try again. When then am I to carry on until? Perhaps until I pass out again or end up in A&E on a drip?
I cant get anything down me. If I do manage one meal a day, it’s a quarter of a starter portion and I’ll nearly always vomit it back up or experience the pain in my tummy or severely painful heartburn or severely offensive and debilitating flatulence.
How long until I can eat?
How long until I can drink plentiful fluids without issues? Ie. More than 500 ml in a 24 hour period?
How long until I feel well?
How long until I can eat what my family eats albeit in a starter portion? A healthy clean hearty non processed meal!
How long until I look and feel well?
How long until I can eat without severely offensive flatulence? It’s disgusting and far too painful to keep inside or even attempt to get to a more private location! Once it’s there, it’s impossible to hide and I don’t feel confident even in taking my children to school!
How long will my stools be pale yellow or grey?
How long will this horrendous pain in my tummy last? Because it’s interfering with my daily life now too. I’m now buying omaprezol over the counter. Lamazeprol isn’t available over the counter like I was advised yesterday.
How long until I can sleep a full
Night without being woken by agonising heartburn or stomach pain?
These are the questions I’d like to ask a support network rather than mither yourself, to then mither surgeon to then mither dieticians or worse my GP.
I’m getting very frustrated now, mainly through a lack of support I think. I don’t like to join public forums or online networks normally but I don’t feel I can get the answers of validation or reassurance currently. Yet, I’ve paid over £12000 for the surgery and 2 years post surgery support. Where is the support please?
Once I receive your reply I’ll
Know whether to mention the letter requirements in my appointment too.
I am so sorry I have to keep contacting you, mithering surgeon but I’m getting frustrated and upset now. I want to be well not worse. Plus, the more issues, symptoms I have the more neurotic I feel, yet I have nowhere else to ask.
Regards
So after reading this I hope you or anyone could offer some guidance or insight.
simply put I am also at my wits end and do not want to regret this life changing surgery but I’m beginning to do so with intent and massive frustration.
looking forward to any replies. [emoji3590][emoji3590][emoji177][emoji177][emoji179]

Hello Shelley, I am so sorry you are suffering in this manner. It's not what you paid for and you need better care. Go to A & E. Ask them to see if you may have a stricture. You are in the right time frame for one. It sounds like it as you are struggling to swallow anything. If this is the case then it's an easy fix. If you can not get a prescription from a doctor then ask at A& E for one for Lansoprasol, preferably twice a day. I take this for nausea and to help with acid reflux. I also take Gaviscon before bed to stop the reflux. I have a wedge pillow under my pillows to hoik my head higher than my belly. books under the top of the bed work too. You will learn to sleep like this. It's difficult at first. Better than the reflux though.
You are dizzy because your calorie count is lower than low. I had to come off my blood pressure medication at this point too. stand up slowly and always hold on to something to steady yourself.
Your poop is that colour because you are getting rid of the fat cells, I didn't fart for a year so I can not help with that one. You can get Windeeze tablets at the chemist that could help. I really hope you sort it asap x


Sent from my Lenovo TB-J606F using BariatricPal mobile app

[janet dekker 5]

I am 2 yrs post gastric bypass I have had similar issue re flatulence ect it turns out to be fat malabsorption I battled for ages until I started taking probotics which have helped alot I can't take tablets so use the powder form maybe give it a try you never know it may work to help you a bit and you can start feeling a bit well nothing worse then feeling like that I hope you get results sooner rather than later

[ShelleyBelley 8]

7 hours ago, LindsayT said:

LindsayT firstly yes I’d absolutely adore you as a friend, I need one with absolute desperation. I feel very vulnerable and alone currently so without sounding a complete desperate loopiloo yes please. (Big arms outstretched never letting go)

catlady0626 - thank you so so much for replying. Yes I have fever including occasional rigours and cold parameters intermediate. Paracetamol added to my daily medicines which does seem to calm. I do have flu like symptoms to accompany and just arrived back from holiday on an aeroplane though so have not made any connection to twists tears or similar. It’s actually crossed my mind I have herniated more prolifically at my umbilical and perhaps developed a hiatal in honesty. But don’t want to sound neurotic.

summerseeker - your reply is so helpful and makes a lot of sense to reassure. I cannot tell you thank you in words to warrant how grateful I am for your reply. The ‘posterise hypertension’ I am struggling with is horrendous and must be BP but I’m not a fainter. It was the icing on the cake so to speak yesterday that started my panic. I knew all this I was struggling with was not normal but seemed to be dismissed on every contact by my care team. Therefore, I’ve waited and listened and tried 6 further contacts but began to feel I was either being neurotic or impatient or a time waster. However, reading your reply and everyone I’m replying to now had made me realise - I am not right and I need to act.

Janetdekker - thank you thank you to you for replying. I’d love to get Probiotics down me but I am barely able to swallow some days. It’s so hard getting anything down me or should I say to even stay down at the moment. I seem to have a day or two in say 10 days I get some foods down and I think I’m through the worst but then regress back to start. But I’ll buy some probiotic yoghurt drinks and see if I can keep these down to see if they help. It’s infuriating and so frustrating. I can’t thank you enough for taking your time to reply to me.

to update further information that may help any further advice, thought share that I dearly appreciate.

ive actually counted the week number today and I’ll be 13 weeks post-op on Tuesday next week. (Feels a lot longer)
ive lost over 4 stones in this time frame and I’m so weak currently. I kid you not, I feel breathless making a cup of tea. I feel worse than when I endured pre-eclampsia and emergency section with my son. I felt I may die at that time but it’s feeling more similar as each day passes. Im utterly exhausted / spent.

im 46 years old, 3 children and am 5 ft 9 inches. Weighed 21 stone 4.5lbs on Friday 10th February and now weigh 17 stone 3lbs. I feel The weight loss is much too fast as I cannot get enough Protein or nutrition into my body. The loose skin and muscle deterioration seems quite extensive (I feel very soggy all over of this makes any sense) but admit my worrying in my current situation has me feeling quite neurotic so I’m trying to prioritise my worries to keep sane!

today, I have managed to get 4 small strawberries down (chewed to a purée before attempting to swallow) with around 12 bites of clean spaghetti bolognese (meat removed and chopped into pieces no larger than rice and each mouthful chewed three times) and 300ml of Fluid and a small cup of tea today. However, I’ve been in bed all day with tummy pain, vomited and other end loo trips within 20 minutes of eating. No full bladder urination. Swallowing is difficult and eating the strawberries took 20 minutes. The 12 bites of spaghetti Bol took an hour to get down me. I tried a smooth yogurt prior to bed but have just been woken up by tummy cramping / vomited it back up and checked my messages to see all your kind and helpful replies.

I take lansaprozol time- delay tablets x 2.

3 x baricol chewables,

calcichew x 1 and have just added 12000 mm/mg tablet of Biotin today. If my nails get any thinner I’ll have none covering my fingers and my Hair loss is devastating!

1-3 ciclixine / odansetron a day for sickness and nausea too. I can’t go a day without at least one a day but they do come with the side effect of drowsiness so they make me literally zonk. I don’t like this so much but it’s helped me gain a few hours sleep I guess as a positive.

is there any other infirbation I can provide that may help with any of your thoughts / ideas / advice / suggestions? Obviously I’m new and am unsure of what further info will help you to support me.

I can’t thank you enough for your replies and I’m so sorry if I sound like some neurotic banshee in a state of panic. I honestly don’t know what thoughts I trust in myself at the moment. I just feel so very poorly.

thank you again for any wisdom. 💕💕💕

[MountainClover 81]

Wow!! I am so sorry you are having such a rough time. I think one of your problems is dehydration, which will make you pass out. I would suggest you go to the Emergency dept and see if they can give you an IV drip. Then they may be able to look into why you cant keep anything down. It could be why you are having flu like symptoms too. I sure hope you feel better.

[Arabesque 6,486]

I’m so sorry you are struggling & don’t seem to be getting any real answers from your surgeon. I wish I had answers for you.

I’d probably go to an emergency centre (may be at the hospital where you had your surgery if it’s close by - might force the surgeon to really look at yi & yiur circumstances). Hopefully they will then organise a variety of tests to see what’s going on. Certainly rehydrating you via IV as @MountainClover suggested wouldn’t hurt.

I hope you gets some answers & help soon. All the best.

[ShelleyBelley 8]

Hi @MountainClover and @Arabesque

Thank you for your kind replies and taking the time to reply.

I have an appointment now arranged with my private surgeon next Wednesday. I’ve managed to get 500 ml down me yesterday. I’ve managed a cup of tea and 100ml juice today so far.

ive managed to eat some tomatoes and 3 x medalions of very soft bacon (all fat removed and grilled) so far. Chopped very small and chewed within an inch of their life before swallowing. 😂 Nausea is in situ but no debilitating tummy cramping or actual vomiting or loo trips experienced. This is a huge difference BUT it seems to be a cruel broken record scenario. In a 10 day period I seem to be ‘better’ or ‘more comfortable’ for a day or two. It provides a feeling of I’m getting better and settling but then regresses. But as my surgeon is seeing me next Wednesday and this has occurred today - I’m giving it one last chance to prove me an inpatient and neurotic worry wart. Or do you think I’m kidding myself again? I’m teetering on officially announcing my self proclaimed insanity I think too! 😂😂

A&E currently has severe waiting times due to Doctors industrial action and albeit I’m poorly - I feel such a burden to my family to bring my partner home from work and my 3 children experience their mum in hospital.

albeit I’m in bed unable to do much - dare I say I feel slightly better today than yesterday.

should I faint, collapse or feel I’m deteriorating back to yesterday’s and previous weeks experience - I will go to A&E regardless. I promise.

please please do let me know if you think I’m being silly deciding this though. I still don’t trust my own decision making I must admit - sleep deprivation ontop of all this has my cognitive planning and therefore decision making unreliable.

x x x

[Possum220 222]

@ShelleyBelleyYou are absolutely on point to see the surgeon and getting yourself to A & E. You have had major surgery and things can and do go wrong. I am glad that you were able to see the surgeon. You are not being silly in any way shape or form. It is the surgeons job to keep an eye on you.

Dehydration will affect your body so much. Sucking on lemonade icy poles will help. Also have some broth and add in some Protein Powder. Tea and coffee help. Electrolyte drinks can be found at the chemist. I also found that the anti-emetic Ondansetron helped with the vomiting and nausea.

Hope everything from now is on the improve for you. You deserve to be well for you. There is a saying that the "squeaky wheel gets the oil'. Squeak as loud as you can until the you are satisfied that you have been heard. 🙂

[Blessd1 66]

23 hours ago, ShelleyBelley said:

please please do let me know if you think I’m being silly deciding this though

I'm so sorry your recovery is not going well. It sounds like you're doing everything in your power to improve the situation. I agree with others who suggest going to the A&E, as unappealing as it is. These things are also true: 1) if this were one of your children suffering in this way, you would have already been to the A&E and any place you need to get answers. 2) You simply cannot continue to care for your family if YOU are not well. You will have to prioritize yourself. I don't intend to sound like I'm judging...I'm just sharing some hard truths I had to realize as a Mum over the years. Praying things get better for you!

[ShelleyBelley 8]

@Possum220 @Blessd1

hi new friends,

I’ve spoken to my surgeon’s secretary and vented my frustrations. No reply!

my appointment is tomorrow with my surgeon so I’m going to show him everything plus the fact I’ve lost nearly 5 stones in 13 weeks is too fast! I am providing him with my food diary and Fluid diary for the last 4 weeks too. It does not make for happy reading BUT typically over the last 3-4 days I seem to be more comfortable.

I’ve been to the toilet every day and opened my bowels properly.

I’ve had nausea and tummy pain but not as severe so I’m out of bed today. I’ve managed to get on top of household duties and paperwork (mummy’s work is never done).

my flu attack seems to have eased so I feel better.

drinking is upto 1000ml per day.

I can’t eat regularly and one small meal is all I can manage a day but it’s stated down and not caused agony.

I really hope this is it, I’ve had an awful recovery and now things will run more smoothly.

Fingers crossed 🥰🥰🥰🥰

how are you getting on?

im desperate for some tasty recipes - know any flavoursome healthy recipes? X

[Blessd1 66]

@Shellybelly I'm so glad to hear you are finally getting a meeting with your surgeon. Hopefully you get the answers you need. Also happy to hear you are beginning to feel better generally. Everyone's journey to recovery is so different, and you don't always know if you're on the right track. Please let us know how things go with your visit.

Here's a Site I especially like. I'm not yet out of soft foods stage, but I have made their recipe for homemade strawberry vinaigrette. It's delicious! I have that with couple ounces of chicken breast and feta cheese. Bariatriceating.com is still my favorite resource so far for ideas.

Best of luck and good health to you!

[ShelleyBelley 8]

@Blessd1 I looked through all the recipes and some look amazing, some not so much but we are all different. They’ve given me lots of ideas though so thank you so much for this.

I can’t find the strawberry vinaigrette however, do you have the specific link for the homemade recipe please? I’d love to try it along with the cherry one too!
riccotta I adore so I now searching on homemade meals.

im struggling with meat even ground chicken and beef at the moment so it may mean I’m now vegetarian. I just need to learn a new lifestyle but will wait until the camera down my throat reports.

I met with my surgeon and he’s suggested charcoal to help with the flatulence. Double up on PPI in the meantime and advised I shouldn’t hesitate to take upto 3 cyclizine a day for nausea. Keeping the little bit of food I manage to get down in me is priority. Only problem is the anti-vomit meds make me zonk!

I’ve lost 5 stones in 13 weeks (which is 70lbs) or 32kg. He didn’t seem concerned about this and seemed to act like it was expected or normal even but it does concern me at how fast the weight is dropping off me.

I have another 5 stones to lose at most to hit a BMI of 25 so in less than 3 months I’ve lost 50% of my excess weight. Yes it’s good I’m losing weight BUT the well-being is more of a priority for me and it’s zero at the moment. I’m tall at 5 ft 9 inches too. When I’ve read weight loss averages on MGB patients, the average weight loss is 60% of their excess weight in 2 years! This comparison is why I’m concerned.
I don’t personally think I’ll suit being a size 10! I’ve never been a size 10 UK clothes size and the excess loose skin potential comes with its own set of problems too. But I’ll worry about this and deal with it if it arises.

so now I’ll wait for the camera investigation and keep taking it day by day.

speak really soon

chelle x

[Possum220 222]

@ShelleyBelley So glad that you have turned the corner and feeling a little better. Feeling crappy is never a good thing. Your surgeon is doing the right thing by checking out your plumbing. Sounds like he listened to you and gave you some helpful advice. Hope that all goes well for you.

It is strange how some medication affect us differently. In regard to the anti nausea drugs can you see if there is another one that might suit you better? I had maxalon years ago for nausea and in made me anxious in the days afterwards yet ondansetron was a much better fit for me.

You are the only person that can know where your body will be happy to be. Hopefully that as your body continues to heal you will feel more settled and comfortable with the changes all the changes. Day by day is the best that any of us can do. Roll on your camera debut and getting even more sorted.