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Terrified and thinking of cancelling



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Hi. I’m new here and I’ve been reading several posts. I’m getting the gastric bypass on 19 October 2022, following removal of the gastric lap band.

I am terrified and now I am thinking about cancelling the operation altogether. I am terrified of how things will be to travel and eating, catching up with friends for dinner and a glass of wine and don’t get me started on what I’ve been reading about dumping syndrome!

I’m not going into this very lightly and have given it quite a bit of thought but now that the surgery day is almost here (currently doing the pre-op diet) I’m starting to really freak out!

I’m from the Australia, Sydney so any help will be greatly appreciated

thank you

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I get it, major surgery is scary! I think it’s important to examine all the reasons you want to do it. If it’s for a quick fix and quick weight loss to look better, it’s probably not a great idea. If you are tired of being overweight and have health issues that you want to overcome, then this is a great option.

I say this because you definitely have to be in the right frame of mind to be successful. This surgery is a tool to help you get healthy, it’s not a permanent fix. You will eventually be able to eat whatever you want again, so it’s up to you to keep with it.

As far as dumping, as long as you are following your plan, it shouldn’t be an issue.

just my two cents! Good luck with whatever you decide!

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Posted (edited)

Do yourself this favor and stick to your pre op diet until surgery day anyways so you can really think this through. I think you are just having last minute jitters. I had sleeve so I can’t really speak to dumping other than only about 30% of bypass patients dump to any degree and many of them who do can still have sweets and fat just in much smaller portions.

Once you are back to regular food, traveling and eating out shouldn’t be an issue (it is also doable during the staged return to eating it will just take some planning). You will eat smaller portions, but you will be able to eat most of the same foods you eat now (I can tolerate everything I ate before). You will of course make healthier choices the majority of the time and eat smaller portions but I eat at restaurants all the time.

In terms of catching up with friends over dinner I think you will be an even better dining companion because you will be less focused on the food and more on the conversation. I go out with my best friend now and I have noticed that our conversations tend to go deeper and our lunches run longer but I actually think that’s kinda cool.

As for the glass of wine, teams seem to be all over the map about when or if they allow alcohol again. My team was fine with it after 3 months but of course it’s empty calories so everything in moderation.

I honestly think you are starting to morn the loss of food a little and that’s not uncommon. If you find that you really have a hard time with all this you may want to consider a bariatric therapist. As I’m sure you have heard, the surgery will fix your stomach but it takes some work on our part to fix our brains and that’s a very important part to being successful with all this.

And if you really aren’t ready, there is no shame in rescheduling. This is a major surgery and only you know if you are ready.

Edited by ShoppGirl

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My experience, and mine alone. I had the lapband in 2008. Had it for 7 it 8 years. No WLS restriction is more miserable compared to what I had experienced with the lapband. The pain in my chest, the having to void in a public restroom because the pressure in my throat. When I had the lapband restriction, it was THE most unnatural feeling. With the RNY, you will live a much smoother and normal life. As long I chew well, I literally have zero side effects from the RNY. It has been over a year. Hard to explain, but for once, I feel so normal now. To me, when I get full, it's very similar to getting full before any WLS. You just have to learn your body's clues. If one doesn't want to dump, you stay away from those foods. One stays away from foods when they are allergic to them. Most do not dump anyway.

As far as safety. This may help you out. RNY is not the same surgery as it was many years ago. It is laparoscopic, so much safer, so much so that many surgeons now do the RNY even as an outpatient procedure now. I was released within 24 hours.
https://www.pennmedicine.org/updates/blogs/metabolic-and-bariatric-surgery-blog/2019/may/is-bariatric-surgery-safe

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Thank you Tomo for your response. I also had lap band in 2008 and had it removed in August 2022 following horrible reflux and weight gain.

I understand your experience about the lap band restriction, it was quite unbearable at times and maybe I have to go back and think how I managed to overcome that!

I think I need to stop overanalysing this and stop reading the horror stories and what can go wrong.
thank you

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I think most of us go through what you're feeling right now. We all dread a loss of the things we used to enjoy. (Most of these fears are unfounded, by the way.) The reality is if those things are important to you, you'll most likely still be able to do them, just less often. Instead of focusing on the loss, another better approach might be for you to think of new, healthier ways to have fun with your friends. Drinking and eating don't have to be the only ways you interact.

Also, if you do end up having dumping syndrome (which is not a certainty), then you may have to make some dietary changes, but many people really have very little problem making those changes.

Perhaps the thing for you to do would be weigh the positives vs. the negatives of surgery. When you remember all the ways being obese effects you, you may find sacrificing a few things to get rid of all those other issues is more than worth it.

As the end of the day, only you can make that call.

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It’s perfectly normal to have some concerns & worries. It is a totally new experience even if you had a band before. But, yeah, stop reading the horror stories they only screw with your head & truthfully they are very rare. People who’ve had a complication often post more because they are seeking help & support. You can find horror stories about anything if you look for them. I’ve a good one about a friend who had a pedicure.

I eat out regularly (at real restaurants) & socialise often with friends & family & it doesn't cause me any issues or impact my enjoyment of the occasion. I usually order a main now through while I was losing I ordered Entrees. And I’m not afraid to ask to take home the leftovers either. I’ll have a glass of wine or similar when socialising but I take ages to drink it. I don’t enjoy it as much as I did before but that’s me & again it doesn’t stop my friends enjoying several more glasses than me.

The short time you have to be the most vigilant & restrictive with your eating & drinking is exactly that - a short time. The staged return to eating is only about 6 weeks in total. After that, you slowly introduce other foods back. Use the time while you are losing to explore new flavours & textures as well as trying healthier food options, cooking styles, recipes, etc. I actually wasn’t really interested in eating anything not nutritionally dense while I was losing & I never felt like I was making sacrifices or giving up any foods. I didn’t want to go back to my old way of eating - it’s why I was obese. But that’s part of the being mentally ready mentioned above.

As for dumping, if you do experience it you’ll learn to eat around it. Same with any other idiosyncrasies your body may have post surgery. It’s much like how anyone with an allergy or sensitivity to certain foods or food types acts.

Don’t be afraid to question your surgeon further about what you may expect with your surgery.

Regardless of whether you decide to go ahead as scheduled or decide to wait a little longer. You have to do what’s right for you. All the best.

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I'm having sleeve, not RNY, so I can't speak to that specifically, but I can speak to being terrified. This is not my first time coming up on surgery. I cancelled the day of. Since then I've had time to make a plan for myself and think, think, think. Right now I'm 4 (?) 5 (?) days out and I'm on an even keel of nerves. I'm with everything everyone else has said. You can always ask more questions, and that might help ease your mind.

I know some people say they stay off of WLS social media, too. You have to find what's right for you and your situation. It's hard to know the date of something and to countdown; it gives you lots of time to think and worry ♥️. I also think it's a great idea to start your liquid diet and see where you end up. If it gets closer and you're feeling like you can do it, great. If it goes the other way, that's OK too.

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On 10/5/2022 at 5:29 PM, Fresh_Basil said:

Hi. I’m new here and I’ve been reading several posts. I’m getting the gastric bypass on 19 October 2022, following removal of the gastric lap band.

I am terrified and now I am thinking about cancelling the operation altogether. I am terrified of how things will be to travel and eating, catching up with friends for dinner and a glass of wine and don’t get me started on what I’ve been reading about dumping syndrome!

I’m not going into this very lightly and have given it quite a bit of thought but now that the surgery day is almost here (currently doing the pre-op diet) I’m starting to really freak out!

I’m from the Australia, Sydney so any help will be greatly appreciated

thank you

I'm scheduled for the 18th! You're half the world away from me, so we very well might be having surgery at the same time. :)

Remember your "why". Why do you want this surgery?

The things you're worried about, won't be an issue after you're at your goal weight. Your stomach is going to relax and stretch. And guess what..? It's going to be the size of a "normal" stomach! You'll be able to eat a plate of food. That's why it's so important that we take this time to build healthy habits. Because, eventually, we'll be able to go right back to the way we were before.

Dumping is another thing that most people "grow out of". You dump at first, but after a while you won't be dumping as much, if at all.

You WILL be able to feel normal again. It might be a couple of years before you get there, but you will.

Hang in there. You've got this!

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