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My brain still thinks I'm a size 28



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I can see the numbers on the scale are way down. I can see that I went down a clothing size and a ring size and now those are starting to be too big. I can see my double and a half chin is now more like a chin and a half. I can see it, and I know it, but I can't get rid of my size 26/28 clothing. It falls off me now (heck, my size 22/24 clothes are getting too loose now) but something keeps stopping me from getting rid of them. My old rings are a size 10. They literally fall off. I can't bring myself to get rid of them. I look in the mirror and I can see my stomach is a lot smaller. If I take stock of each thing, I can see it. But when I look at myself as a whole, I still see big. I still see fat. I still see size 26/28 clothes and size 10 rings. It's like I can see the changes, I know they're there, but I can't make myself believe it enough to take the steps to get rid of the stuff that in NO WAY fits me. Does this sound crazy? Anyone else deal with this?

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Body dysmorphia is real. Don’t be surprised if it takes a long time for your head to catch up with the physical reality. Three years on I still sometimes stare in mirrors surprised by how I look & can find it difficult to accept when people comment on my size. It is much better than it was though I sometimes wonder if my thinking is because I’m afraid to jinx the loss if I recognise my size now.

You have to remind yourself that your clothes don’t lie. Smaller sizes, clothes that are too big, rings slipping off your fingers, etc. are all factual evidence you can’t ignore that you are losing weight.

As to cleaning out your wardrobe, you’ll find a time you’re ready to do that. It’s sort of the reverse of when we kept smaller sized clothes for when we lost weight & didn’t. Maybe start with just the older clothes that are too big & you likely wouldn’t wear again anyway. Even if the first step is to remove them from your wardrobe & bag them up. You can donate them or whatever when you’re ready.

You’ll get there in your time.

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2 hours ago, Arabesque said:

Body dysmorphia is real. Don’t be surprised if it takes a long time for your head to catch up with the physical reality. Three years on I still sometimes stare in mirrors surprised by how I look & can find it difficult to accept when people comment on my size. It is much better than it was though I sometimes wonder if my thinking is because I’m afraid to jinx the loss if I recognise my size now.

You have to remind yourself that your clothes don’t lie. Smaller sizes, clothes that are too big, rings slipping off your fingers, etc. are all factual evidence you can’t ignore that you are losing weight.

As to cleaning out your wardrobe, you’ll find a time you’re ready to do that. It’s sort of the reverse of when we kept smaller sized clothes for when we lost weight & didn’t. Maybe start with just the older clothes that are too big & you likely wouldn’t wear again anyway. Even if the first step is to remove them from your wardrobe & bag them up. You can donate them or whatever when you’re ready.

You’ll get there in your time.

Thank you so much for this. I KNOW I'm losing weight, but at the same time, I guess I don't believe it. I always thought body dysmorphia was for people who are transgender, or people addicted to plastic surgery. I never thought about it for those of us who have been fat at least half our lives (or in my case, 24 out of the last 44 years). I so badly wanted to look in the mirror and love what I see as I drop sizes, but instead I still see "fat" me, "morbidly obese" me, "nothing is ever gonna change no matter what I do so why bother" me. I think I'll start with the old, ratty size 28 clothes. I can just get rid of them. They were my cleaning and working out clothes. Then I'll separate the size 26 and 28 clothes into donate and give away piles and bag em up. I think that'll be good enough for a while. Same with my size 10 rings. I'm hoping once I hit size 18/20 I'll be ready to get rid of the size 26/28 stuff because it'll be time to start the process over with my size 22/24 stuff lol

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I completely understand this. Sometimes I look in the mirror and still look so fat and other times I am like damn I'm getting small. It is so weird. I still pick up my smaller pants and think how do these fit my big ass. haha

When I order a piece of clothing and it comes it. When I open it and hold it up I ALWAYS say to myself, there is no way this is fitting me... it does.

124 LBS and I still struggle to see it on some days!

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You and I are in the same boat. At almost 70lbs down and going from 3-4x(24/26) size clothing to xl(20/22). Yesterday was the first time I looked in the mirror and actually SAW a different shape. I startled myself. Today I noticed my chins were gone. I still struggle to SEE the difference even though the physical evidence is there. The clothes are smaller, the jewelry is loose, heck even my shoe size has gone down but in the mirror I still see 312lbs. It's a process. Also 44 years old and approximately 20 years since I saw the right side of a healthy size.

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I went from a 3X shirt to a medium slim fit and I still feel like I am a fat guy. I have lost 110 pounds and am my lightest weight since high school (179). I am getting a little less paranoid about my weight and when people tell me I lost half of me, it helps me realize that I am not longer that guy. It gets better.

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This struggle is real, it is even worse when I go to buy new things. I automatically gravitate to the largest sizes still, when in reality I'm somewhere around a 16/18 top and 20/22 bottom, depending on fit. Nope, my brain goes straight to the 28s.

In terms of purging old clothes, I have done it slowly. I'll do a try on and easily depart with some of the oversized things, but then I still keep others. Then 2 months later I do another try on and manage to get rid of a few more oversized things while still keeping others. I keep worrying I will "need" them, which is nuts because I don't even want to wear those things anymore! Still, it's ok - tackle that at your own pace. It's a process and you do what's best for you.

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Thanks, everybody. I really appreciate you all. I knew coming here and posting about it was the right thing to do. Nobody IRL gets it. "How can you not see it? LOOK AT YOURSELF" Like, ok, I am. And I don't see it. Now what? Ugh. But anyway, thank you again so much.

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6 hours ago, kcuster83 said:

I completely understand this. Sometimes I look in the mirror and still look so fat and other times I am like damn I'm getting small. It is so weird. I still pick up my smaller pants and think how do these fit my big ass. haha

When I order a piece of clothing and it comes it. When I open it and hold it up I ALWAYS say to myself, there is no way this is fitting me... it does.

124 LBS and I still struggle to see it on some days!

Exactly this. I got a jumper yesterday and thought wow thats tiny, it fit

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My bigger clothes are still sitting in bags waiting to go to Goodwill. I can completely understand the struggle to get rid of your bigger clothes. What helped me somewhat is to go and try on some new clothes at the store. Now if I can only get myself to buy them. LOL

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I have gone from a size 20 to a size 2 in a little less than a year. I CONSTANTLY pick up clothing I know fits me and wonder how on earth they will ever fit me...while I don't think my brain still thinks I'm exactly the same size I was before surgery it's definitely 40-50 pounds behind. I have to try on EVERYTHING because if I pick it up and look at it, I'll automatically buy something 2-3 sizes too big.

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Taking pictures of yourself as u shrink helps!

Put your most recent pic beside your oldest one…its hard to argue with photographic evidence.

P.S. If you can, wear the same clothes in each pic…but this may get challenging as you get smaller and smaller, lol. If so, try to at least wear the same colours (i wish i did, ha) makes for a lovely collage later.

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1 hour ago, ms.sss said:

Taking pictures of yourself as u shrink helps!

Put your most recent pic beside your oldest one…its hard to argue with photographic evidence.

P.S. If you can, wear the same clothes in each pic…but this may get challenging as you get smaller and smaller, lol. If so, try to at least wear the same colours (i wish i did, ha) makes for a lovely collage later.

I've never thought of that. I wish I had started that right before surgery, but better late than never. Thanks!!

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1 hour ago, SleeveDiva2022 said:

I've never thought of that. I wish I had started that right before surgery, but better late than never. Thanks!!

And when you are done, you can make a new collage and update it every year, lol

Here’s mine. I like to look at it every once in a while (much, much more frequently before though, ha!)

Looking at it is like giving myself a pat on the head and saying “yay, me!”

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Just took a pic right now (after my workout, before my shower lol) and I'm actually stunned. Pic 1 is before the surgery and pic 2 is now. For the first time, I see a difference.

1.jpg

2.jpg

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