Scared I will fail

[SW1973 7]

Hello. I went through the entire process and had a surgery date in 2016. I got scared and backed out. Now I am older, heavier and have the same fears. I am 48, have diabetes and had a hysterectomy. I am scared that I will fail. I am scared I will not lose weight because of my age and the hysterectomy. Scared of my sugar cravings. I am scared because of the diet. If I can't eat the right foods now, how will I be able to do it after the surgery? I beat myself up everyday because I give in to my sweet tooth. It is truly a sugar addiction and I don't know how to beat it. I am sad thinking that I won't be able to really enjoy eating ever again. I keep thinking, if I put my body through this, only to gain the weight back in 5 yrs, then I have all of my old issues with weight plus the stomach restriction. Deep down, I feel that when I lose weight and start exercising I will be proud and determined to never go back to my old ways. But my fears and anxiety are working against me.

I am scared of loose skin, particularly a sagging face. I have managed to maintain a youthful complexion with minor aging, and being overweight, that is the one thing I feel good about myself with. I know that I would rather be healthy for my 9 yr old son than looking older, but I do not want to look 10 yrs older either! I hope I am exaggerating the severity of it.

I would love some advice and words of encouragement. Thank you for listening to me.

[kristieshannon 1,545]

I went partially through the approval process at 40 and then chickened out. I wish I wouldn’t have. My only regret is not having surgery sooner. I finally went through with it at 49. Yes, I ended up with loose skin. Plastic surgery took care of all of it (and oh man, do I love my perky boobs). I’m fit, healthy, and love how I look now. I enjoy eating thoroughly. Just smaller amounts. I also am a big sugar fan. That has lessened somewhat post op, but I still fit small treats in to my plan and am satisfied with much, much less. For example, a dark chocolate/caramel/sea salt bar that has eight segments lasts me eight days. I savor each one in the evening, letting it melt slowly in my mouth rather than chewing it with hardly tasting it.

I truly feel like this surgery is my second chance, I’ll be around and be healthy to enjoy my kids and grand kids and fully participate in life. Best of luck to you!

[STLoser 1,085]

Hello. I went through the entire process and had a surgery date in 2016. I got scared and backed out. Now I am older, heavier and have the same fears. I am 48, have diabetes and had a hysterectomy. I am scared that I will fail. I am scared I will not lose weight because of my age and the hysterectomy. Scared of my sugar cravings. I am scared because of the diet. If I can't eat the right foods now, how will I be able to do it after the surgery? I beat myself up everyday because I give in to my sweet tooth. It is truly a sugar addiction and I don't know how to beat it. I am sad thinking that I won't be able to really enjoy eating ever again. I keep thinking, if I put my body through this, only to gain the weight back in 5 yrs, then I have all of my old issues with weight plus the stomach restriction. Deep down, I feel that when I lose weight and start exercising I will be proud and determined to never go back to my old ways. But my fears and anxiety are working against me.
I am scared of loose skin, particularly a sagging face. I have managed to maintain a youthful complexion with minor aging, and being overweight, that is the one thing I feel good about myself with. I know that I would rather be healthy for my 9 yr old son than looking older, but I do not want to look 10 yrs older either! I hope I am exaggerating the severity of it.
I would love some advice and words of encouragement. Thank you for listening to me.

Wow. You sound exactly like me. I was 48 when I this done last year. I also had a 9 year old son. He's 10 now and I'll be 50 in August.
I'm still scared of failing. I have lost 148 and still have about 60 I would like to lose. My weight loss has slowed recently, and I'm afraid I won't get to my goal. I has all those feelings you had, and I still worry.
However, I knew if I didn't do it, I'd stay the way I was for sure, and probably not live to see my son grow up.
I'm SO glad I did the surgery. I was worried about missing food, but since you're not hungry at first, that makes it easier. And I do have cravings, but they're easier to control now.
I just do my best to follow my plan and don't beat myself up if I do give into a craving, which isn't that often.
Therapy is also something you might want to consider. That can help you work though issues with food.
This is a big life change and I would be worried if you weren't scared. It's pretty normal to have those feelings!


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[STLoser 1,085]

Oh, and yeah, I have loose skin. My stomach was really big at 393 pounds so I have it there and my thighs are pretty bad too. My arms have always been small for my size so they don't have much. My face got pretty huge at my high weight, but so far it's not looking too bad. I have some loose skin on my neck, and notice some lines around my eyes I didn't have before, but overall people still don't think I'm almost 50.
And I will take ALL of this any day over the way I was before. I feel so much better and life is so much easier now it is worth any loose skin or looking a bit older than I did.
And there's always plastic surgery if it really bothers me.

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[Monique1123 28]

Hi,

I completely understand how you feel. I recently got approved last Thursday and have had several thoughts to myself wondering if I can do it? Is it realistic of me to continue this lifestyle after the surgery? Then I get a little nervous because technically they give you these therapy sessions to help you discuss these types of fears and anxiety yet, I'm too afraid to talk to them and have them think I'm not ready for this new journey. I can also relate to the saggy skin! However, would I prefer saggy skin instead of knee pain, avoiding social places, not having clothes that fit, and not being able to keep up with my 4-year-old son when he wants to play. All in all, I think it's normal for us to be worried but I'm also trying to believe in myself that I CAN DO THIS! We're only human so we have temptations and may even give in but I think the first step is believing that we can do this and that we deserve to finally live a happy and healthy life. You got this!

[catwoman7 10,872]

I agree with all the others. I wish I hadn't been so scared of the surgery and had it 10 or 20 years before I actually did. I felt like I was just existing rather than fully living for all those years. I would do this again in a heartbeat. In fact, I'd do it every year if I had to.

There are a lot of food restrictions early out, but after that first year, no. I can eat most of the same things I did before, I just eat a lot less of them now. And we're not talking a couple of tablespoons (although that's the case the first month or so after surgery) - now I eat like a lot of my never-been-obese women friends do. For example, when I go out, I'll have an appetizer - or I'll order an entree and take half of it home. Honestly, a lot of never-been-fat people eat that way, especially women. Watch some of them sometime.

you can always work with a therapist on your sugar addiction if you think that would help. A lot of WLS patients work with therapists on their food issues and have found it helpful.

finally, I lost over 200 lbs and had a TON of loose skin. However, it was very easy to hide in clothes. No one knew it was there except for me (well, and my husband and doctor, of course). I've since had it removed, but here is a picture of me BEFORE I had plastic surgery. See the loose skin? Trust me, it's there. Especially my gut. Like someone else said, I would take the loose skin any day over weighing 373 lbs again. ANY DAY!!

oh - and you're not too old at all for WLS. Lots of us have it in our 50s and 60s - and a few even in our 70s. I had it at 55. I'm probably 58 in this picture.

[SW1973 7]

I agree with all the others. I wish I hadn't been so scared of the surgery and had it 10 or 20 years before I actually did. I felt like I was just existing rather than fully living for all those years. I would do this again in a heartbeat. In fact, I'd do it every year if I had to.
There are a lot of food restrictions early out, but after that first year, no. I can eat most of the same things I did before, I just eat a lot less of them now. And we're not talking a couple of tablespoons (although that's the case the first month or so after surgery) - now I eat like a lot of my never-been-obese women friends do. For example, when I go out, I'll have an appetizer - or I'll order an entree and take half of it home. Honestly, a lot of never-been-fat people eat that way, especially women. Watch some of them sometime.
you can always work with a therapist on your sugar addiction if you think that would help. A lot of WLS patients work with therapists on their food issues and have found it helpful.
finally, I lost over 200 lbs and had a TON of loose skin. However, it was very easy to hide in clothes. No one knew it was there except for me (well, and my husband and doctor, of course). I've since had it removed, but here is a picture of me BEFORE I had plastic surgery. See the loose skin? Trust me, it's there. Especially my gut. Like someone else said, I would take the loose skin any day over weighing 373 lbs again. ANY DAY!!
oh - and you're not too old at all for WLS. Lots of us have it in our 50s and 60s - and a few even in our 70s. I had it at 55. I'm probably 58 in this picture.

You look wonderful! So happy for you. Thank you for sharing.

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[SW1973 7]

I went partially through the approval process at 40 and then chickened out. I wish I wouldn’t have. My only regret is not having surgery sooner. I finally went through with it at 49. Yes, I ended up with loose skin. Plastic surgery took care of all of it (and oh man, do I love my perky boobs). I’m fit, healthy, and love how I look now. I enjoy eating thoroughly. Just smaller amounts. I also am a big sugar fan. That has lessened somewhat post op, but I still fit small treats in to my plan and am satisfied with much, much less. For example, a dark chocolate/caramel/sea salt bar that has eight segments lasts me eight days. I savor each one in the evening, letting it melt slowly in my mouth rather than chewing it with hardly tasting it.

I truly feel like this surgery is my second chance, I’ll be around and be healthy to enjoy my kids and grand kids and fully participate in life. Best of luck to you!

Thank you for sharing! I appreciate the encouragement.

Sent from my SM-G781U using BariatricPal mobile app

[SW1973 7]

I agree with all the others. I wish I hadn't been so scared of the surgery and had it 10 or 20 years before I actually did. I felt like I was just existing rather than fully living for all those years. I would do this again in a heartbeat. In fact, I'd do it every year if I had to.
There are a lot of food restrictions early out, but after that first year, no. I can eat most of the same things I did before, I just eat a lot less of them now. And we're not talking a couple of tablespoons (although that's the case the first month or so after surgery) - now I eat like a lot of my never-been-obese women friends do. For example, when I go out, I'll have an appetizer - or I'll order an entree and take half of it home. Honestly, a lot of never-been-fat people eat that way, especially women. Watch some of them sometime.
you can always work with a therapist on your sugar addiction if you think that would help. A lot of WLS patients work with therapists on their food issues and have found it helpful.
finally, I lost over 200 lbs and had a TON of loose skin. However, it was very easy to hide in clothes. No one knew it was there except for me (well, and my husband and doctor, of course). I've since had it removed, but here is a picture of me BEFORE I had plastic surgery. See the loose skin? Trust me, it's there. Especially my gut. Like someone else said, I would take the loose skin any day over weighing 373 lbs again. ANY DAY!!
oh - and you're not too old at all for WLS. Lots of us have it in our 50s and 60s - and a few even in our 70s. I had it at 55. I'm probably 58 in this picture.

You look wonderful! I am so happy for you. Thank you for sharing your words of encouragement.

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[STLoser 1,085]

If I could figure out how to get my pics to post on here I'd show you a pick of me in clothes. Just like Catwoman, you can't really notice it when I'm in clothes.
Sure, it will be visible when I wear a swimming suit, but I don't care. I'm going to Florida June 5th and I'm gonna be prancing around confidently in my swimming suit, loose skin and all, with confidence. I don't care what anyone thinks. The loose skin just shows how hard I have worked and it's not longer filled with fat!

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[SW1973 7]

Hi,
I completely understand how you feel. I recently got approved last Thursday and have had several thoughts to myself wondering if I can do it? Is it realistic of me to continue this lifestyle after the surgery? Then I get a little nervous because technically they give you these therapy sessions to help you discuss these types of fears and anxiety yet, I'm too afraid to talk to them and have them think I'm not ready for this new journey. I can also relate to the saggy skin! However, would I prefer saggy skin instead of knee pain, avoiding social places, not having clothes that fit, and not being able to keep up with my 4-year-old son when he wants to play. All in all, I think it's normal for us to be worried but I'm also trying to believe in myself that I CAN DO THIS! We're only human so we have temptations and may even give in but I think the first step is believing that we can do this and that we deserve to finally live a happy and healthy life. You got this!

I know I will be happy and over-the-moon with myself and my results after I do it. Thank you for sharing with me.

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[SW1973 7]

If I could figure out how to get my pics to post on here I'd show you a pick of me in clothes. Just like Catwoman, you can't really notice it when I'm in clothes.
Sure, it will be visible when I wear a swimming suit, but I don't care. I'm going to Florida June 5th and I'm gonna be prancing around confidently in my swimming suit, loose skin and all, with confidence. I don't care what anyone thinks. The loose skin just shows how hard I have worked and it's not longer filled with fat!

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Thank you for sharing. It is reassuring to know I can hide the loose skin. People criticize overweight people, then criticize their decision to do something about it! Then criticize their bodies afterwards. It is all so sad.

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[SW1973 7]

I went partially through the approval process at 40 and then chickened out. I wish I wouldn’t have. My only regret is not having surgery sooner. I finally went through with it at 49. Yes, I ended up with loose skin. Plastic surgery took care of all of it (and oh man, do I love my perky boobs). I’m fit, healthy, and love how I look now. I enjoy eating thoroughly. Just smaller amounts. I also am a big sugar fan. That has lessened somewhat post op, but I still fit small treats in to my plan and am satisfied with much, much less. For example, a dark chocolate/caramel/sea salt bar that has eight segments lasts me eight days. I savor each one in the evening, letting it melt slowly in my mouth rather than chewing it with hardly tasting it.

I truly feel like this surgery is my second chance, I’ll be around and be healthy to enjoy my kids and grand kids and fully participate in life. Best of luck to you!

Thank you! I hope I am as successful as you! No regrets!

Sent from my SM-G781U using BariatricPal mobile app

[Jaelzion 1,122]

6 hours ago, SW1973 said:

Hello. I went through the entire process and had a surgery date in 2016. I got scared and backed out. Now I am older, heavier and have the same fears. I am 48, have diabetes and had a hysterectomy. I am scared that I will fail. I am scared I will not lose weight because of my age and the hysterectomy. Scared of my sugar cravings. I am scared because of the diet. If I can't eat the right foods now, how will I be able to do it after the surgery? I beat myself up everyday because I give in to my sweet tooth. It is truly a sugar addiction and I don't know how to beat it. I am sad thinking that I won't be able to really enjoy eating ever again. I keep thinking, if I put my body through this, only to gain the weight back in 5 yrs, then I have all of my old issues with weight plus the stomach restriction. Deep down, I feel that when I lose weight and start exercising I will be proud and determined to never go back to my old ways. But my fears and anxiety are working against me.

I am scared of loose skin, particularly a sagging face. I have managed to maintain a youthful complexion with minor aging, and being overweight, that is the one thing I feel good about myself with. I know that I would rather be healthy for my 9 yr old son than looking older, but I do not want to look 10 yrs older either! I hope I am exaggerating the severity of it.

I would love some advice and words of encouragement. Thank you for listening to me.

I can relate to most of your fears. I was 54 when I had my surgery. I also worried that the surgery would not work for me, that I'd fail, that it would end up just like every other attempt to lose weight. But my outcome was a happy surprise.

Regarding cravings, the surgery did not eliminate, but seriously dampened the intensity of my cravings. It's much easier to tell myself "no". Actually since I am in maintenance now, it's more like "not right now". Because I do indulge in a treat now and then, since I'm no longer actively trying to lose. I know the surgery doesn't have that effect on everyone, but it did for me.

Surgery also completely defanged my hunger. Yeah, I do get hungry if I go too long without eating, but it's not that raging, insatiable hunger I had before surgery. I'm just aware that I need to eat, but I can delay it if I have to. It's a really different experience.

When it comes to loose skin, I have a LOT. I'm scheduled for plastic surgery this summer to have a Tummy Tuck since that's where most of my extra skin is. Here's a recent picture of me - when clothed, the loose skin is not noticeable. But there's enough of it that I have to buy a whole size bigger to accommodate the stomach! Obviously, there's some stuff I don't wear, but any 56 year-old can say that, LOL.

Honestly, I do look a little older since losing all the weight (my neck especially) but I wouldn't go back to being 250 pounds for anything. Only you can decide if surgery is right for you, but hopefully, our experiences will help.

[catwoman7 10,872]

3 minutes ago, Jaelzion said:

I can relate to most of your fears. I was 54 when I had my surgery. I also worried that the surgery would not work for me, that I'd fail, that it would end up just like every other attempt to lose weight. But my outcome was a happy surprise.

Regarding cravings, the surgery did not eliminate, but seriously dampened the intensity of my cravings. It's much easier to tell myself "no". Actually since I am in maintenance now, it's more like "not right now". Because I do indulge in a treat now and then, since I'm no longer actively trying to lose. I know the surgery doesn't have that effect on everyone, but it did for me.

Surgery also completely defanged my hunger. Yeah, I do get hungry if I go too long without eating, but it's not that raging, insatiable hunger I had before surgery. I'm just aware that I need to eat, but I can delay it if I have to. It's a really different experience.

When it comes to loose skin, I have a LOT. I'm scheduled for plastic surgery this summer to have a Tummy Tuck since that's where most of my extra skin is. Here's a recent picture of me - when clothed, the loose skin is not noticeable. But there's enough of it that I have to buy a whole size bigger to accommodate the stomach! Obviously, there's some stuff I don't wear, but any 56 year-old can say that, LOL.

Honestly, I do look a little older since losing all the weight (my neck especially) but I wouldn't go back to being 250 pounds for anything. Only you can decide if surgery is right for you, but hopefully, our experiences will help.

you look great!!!