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10 Years Post Op - My love/hate relationship with my Sleeve.
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Wow I thought I wrote this...lol Totally agree where your coming from. It took almost 9 months for me to finally understand what I have going on. Weight did not come off fast for me. It wa
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This came at the right time! I have been feeling defeated, like I went through this for nothing since I have not lost one single pound since my one week post op appointment with the surgeon office. I
I've been thinking a lot lately about how it's already been 10 years since I got my sleeve. I've also been thinking about new people just starting on this journey and remembering how I felt about the whole process. I should mention I'm 5ft 2in and weighed 233 lbs and was 56 years old at the time I started my journey. I tried every diet, I mean every diet. Spent too much money on fads and diet supplements.
In the beginning I was excited and worried about having the sleeve. You can't grow your stomach back! Not that I had an emotional attachment to my stomach and actually thought my stomach was my enemy. The thought of removing part of a perfectly good organ in my body. Well, that's just crazy - isn't it??? I have to go to this extreme to stop killing myself??
I couldn't eat hardly anything at first. If I ate one bite too many I was in horrible pain and had to lay down. I remember thinking if I just could eat 1/2 of a small hamburger or one little taco I'd be happy. But pretty much 2 bites of anything and I was done. The weight came off fast in the beginning. But my energy was low, I didn't feel good and I had some regrets. Couldn't go out to eat it was a total waste of money. Besides since I could only eat a couple bites the waitress thought there was something wrong with the food. Naw, just wasn't that hungry I'd tell them. I get a doggy bag and attempt to eat the rest later.
So yes, the first 8-10 months the weight fell off. I don't remember exactly how long it took me to loose the first time over 90 lbs. Yes, I said the first time. I didn't gain it all back though. I still was not at peace with my sleeve. It was the enemy keeping me from eating as much as I wanted and when I wanted. BTW I still can't eat salad anymore it's just too hard on my stomach. I loved salad but NO sleeve doesn't like it!!
So here's the deal...no I couldn't eat a whole hamburger BUT I can eat maybe 1/2 now and then 2 hours later I eat the rest. Same with everything else. HAHA sleeve I win. I really struggled with my love/hate relationship with my sleeve. A couple years go by and I gain back around 50 lbs. HAHA sleeve I win???? Did I already say that learning to live with the sleeve was a real struggle for me?
So, it took me along time to be at peace with my sleeve. Well, I am now. It wasn't easy but I did it and it feels good today not to stress out over not being able to eat as much as I want and I stop when my friend the sleeve says "that's enough!" Okay, you win sleeve. I've lost the weight that I had gained back. No, I'm not skinny but I'm at a comfortable weight that looks good on me. The real win is my health. My blood pressure, blood sugar and cholesterol are good/normal! My sleep apnea is gone! I don't shop in the "big ladies" department and I fit in an airline seat and can put the tray table down! I can walk for miles and I don't break out in a sweat just walking to the mail box. I can play with my Grandkids!
If I were to give advise to anyone considering having VSG. Don't expect the sleeve to be the magic bullet. You have to work with it and listen to your sleeve. You might have to go through what I did. I hope if you do eventually you'll start listening. Most, not all of us have a food addiction and most of us don't want to stop eating when we are really full. Food tastes good, we love it. It's social and everything we do socially has food involved. Television ads for fast food, and restaurants at every commercial break! I was so addicted to food. Well, actually. I still am. But.. most of the time now I stop eating when my sleeve tells me to stop. I have a family member who had gastric bypass. She is so frustrated. " Ya can't eat a meal!" " Nope, we can't but we can share a meal and still have leftovers." I believe long term success (not that I'm saying I have that either) will happen when you accept, make peace and listen to your sleeve. It could just save your life like I believe mine has done for me.
Good luck to everyone on this journey or getting ready to start it. It was the best decision I've made for my health. No regrets!