Jealous Spouse

[HealthyLifeStyle 351]

I have a jealous hubby. I don't know if jealous is the right word. Since I have lost my weight (75 lbs.), he is acting weird. We are only in February, but he keeps talking about the clothing I would wear when the nice weather comes. He asked me several times if I am going to buy some halter tops....LOL All I can do is laugh about this. I am 51 yrs. old, and I would never even think about wearing that. He also keeps asking me if I am going to wear shorts, (I never did being heavier). What should I do, if anything about this?

[ms.sss 14,700]

Is he maybe just looking forward to seeing you in these clothes for himself?

[BigSue 1,320]

Doesn't really sound like he's jealous. I think he's just admiring your new body and wants to see you show it off. Have you talked at all in the past about wishing you could wear shorts when it's hot? If so, he may be referring to that.

[XtinaDoesIt 196]

I'm on a week or so out by my S.O acts a bit weird too. He is also trying to lose weight without the surgery. Normally when we try to lose weight he loses 2x faster than me but now I'm losing more than him and he doesn't love it. Lol! Also he is upset that I'm not cooking anymore and I'm not creating a diet plan for him. Usually I'm in charge of the food. I told him he was free to drink Protein Shakes, broth and Water with me. When I started puree 2 days ago, he was excited until I open a canned chicken, mixed it with marinara and cheese and ate 3 bites. He was like, "so this is how its going to be?"

I think he just needs time and I would say the same for your hubby.

[Larkspurlady 1]

It sounds as if he is supporting you and letting you know he is attracted to you.

[HealthyLifeStyle 351]

35 minutes ago, ms.sss said:

Is he maybe just looking forward to seeing you in these clothes for himself?

No because the way he says it, like he is hoping that I don't wear these things.

[HealthyLifeStyle 351]

27 minutes ago, BigSue said:

Doesn't really sound like he's jealous. I think he's just admiring your new body and wants to see you show it off. Have you talked at all in the past about wishing you could wear shorts when it's hot? If so, he may be referring to that.

No, he doesn't want me to show my body off at all. I can tell by the way he says it.

[HealthyLifeStyle 351]

26 minutes ago, XtinaDoesIt said:

I'm on a week or so out by my S.O acts a bit weird too. He is also trying to lose weight without the surgery. Normally when we try to lose weight he loses 2x faster than me but now I'm losing more than him and he doesn't love it. Lol! Also he is upset that I'm not cooking anymore and I'm not creating a diet plan for him. Usually I'm in charge of the food. I told him he was free to drink Protein Shakes, broth and Water with me. When I started puree 2 days ago, he was excited until I open a canned chicken, mixed it with marinara and cheese and ate 3 bites. He was like, "so this is how its going to be?"

I think he just needs time and I would say the same for your hubby.

Same here. I had the surgery, and he is trying to lose with just dieting. He has always lost more than me, but now not. We eat two diff meals all the time also. He hasn't said much about me cooking. He knows I have to eat certain foods.

[HealthyLifeStyle 351]

14 minutes ago, Larkspurlady said:

It sounds as if he is supporting you and letting you know he is attracted to you.

Not by the way he says it. He seems scared that I am going to show off my body, and he doesn't want that to happen. Not that I would anyway.

[BigSue 1,320]

56 minutes ago, HealthyLifeStyle said:

No, he doesn't want me to show my body off at all. I can tell by the way he says it.

Well, I'm single, so take my advice with a grain of salt, but maybe this would be a good thing to discuss with him directly. Ask if he's concerned about your clothing choices and why the idea of you wearing different clothing bothers him.

[ms.sss 14,700]

22 minutes ago, BigSue said:

Well, I'm single, so take my advice with a grain of salt, but maybe this would be a good thing to discuss with him directly. Ask if he's concerned about your clothing choices and why the idea of you wearing different clothing bothers him.

Agreed. Its a good time to have a conversation with him.

[HealthyLifeStyle 351]

Yes, I agree with @BigSue and @ms.sss it is def time to have that convo.

Edited February 19, 2021 by HealthyLifeStyle
fixed sentence

[SummerTimeGirl 580]

Haven't had the surgery yet myself, but at first I was thinking like the others that maybe he was excited to see your new body in these clothes. But then you said no. So, maybe you should just let him know that, whether you do or don't choose to wear those clothes, you're not going anywhere. He may be a little anxious now that you have this new body and mindset that you'll leave him behind. I think a lot of spouses probably worry about that whether by outright saying so or low key letting you know. I think a little reassurance will be good for him, and probably you, because then he may leave you alone about it. LOL

[HealthyLifeStyle 351]

Just now, SummerTimeGirl said:

Haven't had the surgery yet myself, but at first I was thinking like the others that maybe he was excited to see your new body in these clothes. But then you said no. So, maybe you should just let him know that, whether you do or don't choose to wear those clothes, you're not going anywhere. He may be a little anxious now that you have this new body and mindset that you'll leave him behind. I think a lot of spouses probably worry about that whether by outright saying so or low key letting you know. I think a little reassurance will be good for him, and probably you, because then he may leave you alone about it. LOL

Yeah, he recently asked me if I was gonna leave him for a younger model? I just laughed. We have been together for 25 yrs. I have never seen this side of him before. It is so weird to see that he is so insecure.

[SummerTimeGirl 580]

3 minutes ago, HealthyLifeStyle said:

Yeah, he recently asked me if I was gonna leave him for a younger model? I just laughed. We have been together for 25 yrs. I have never seen this side of him before. It is so weird to see that he is so insecure.

Awww, poor thing. I've often wondered, in doing my research before deciding to take the plunge myself, if maybe our spouses wouldn't benefit from seeing the psychologist too when we go through this procedure. I think it would be a good thing. Maybe a class for them alone and then one for both spouses together so that our fears and expectations can be addressed.