Jealous Spouse

[HealthyLifeStyle 351]

8 hours ago, LoveSimcha said:

I actually recall reading an article that the divorce rate is higher among couples that one has had weight loss surgery. I think the emotions start running high and the insecurities start coming out. I spoke with my husband at the time and he said "oh so you are going to leave me?" - I was like no dude you are missing the point.

My hubby said the same thing to me. He asked me if I was going to leave him for a younger model. I just laughed. He is being so ridiculous.

[HealthyLifeStyle 351]

9 minutes ago, MyGrammyLife said:

My husband had the gastric sleeve over 5 years ago, and I just had mine Feb. 1st. There is a LOT that I can’t recall about his first year following surgery, but one thing I recall very clearly is how I felt...

Everywhere we went people would compliment him on how great he looked! I was definitely feeling a bit jealous because I too was dieting and losing weight, but because his transition was occurring so much faster than mine, he got all the compliments and no one noticed my progress. I recall that in my mind I justified it by saying “he took the easy was out”! (Boy was that thinking WRONG, there is nothing easy about this journey!)

I remember researching diet options and recipes that would work for BOTH of us. I wanted so badly to be on the “same page” in our weight loss journey’s but that was never really possible. We were in completely “different books” !

Jumping forward 5 years, he has managed to keep the majority of his weight off, but his diet choices haven’t been the greatest. He doesn’t follow the “rules” of Sleevers....eat your Protein first, then vegetable, and IF you are still hungry have a few bites of the carb. He uses straws, drinks carbonated beverages, and far too much coffee and not enough Water. My decision to have the sleeve has given him a reset and Finally....we are on the same page!

I guess I went astray here, but my point is this.... I wouldn’t say I was totally jealous of him because I was supportive and proud of his achievements. However, I still felt sorry for myself because I worked SO hard and never would achieve the level of weight loss that he did. I have to agree with the comment above that suggests it would be helpful for couples to get counsel on what feeling to anticipate and work through them before hand. It would be beneficial to both parties.

So I would say that this may be something similar. He is there supporting me, but he is also trying to lose weight on his own. He is not a candidate for the surgery. He only has to lose about 30 lbs. I am not looking fwd. to the nicer weather, wearing less clothing. He does get very aggravated if another man compliments me, or even looks at me. He usually won't say anything, but I can see it. I compliment him all the time. He is a very sharp dresser for work. I always tell him how nice he looks, smells good, etc. Make sure I give him a kiss goodbye, and hello when he gets home. He knows he has nothing to worry about.

[SummerTimeGirl 580]

6 hours ago, HealthyLifeStyle said:

So I would say that this may be something similar. He is there supporting me, but he is also trying to lose weight on his own. He is not a candidate for the surgery. He only has to lose about 30 lbs. I am not looking fwd. to the nicer weather, wearing less clothing. He does get very aggravated if another man compliments me, or even looks at me. He usually won't say anything, but I can see it. I compliment him all the time. He is a very sharp dresser for work. I always tell him how nice he looks, smells good, etc. Make sure I give him a kiss goodbye, and hello when he gets home. He knows he has nothing to worry about.

Instead of jealous or aggravated he should be like yup, thanks guys, and she's ALL MINE! LOL But I know easier said that done for some men.

[HealthyLifeStyle 351]

5 hours ago, SummerTimeGirl said:

Instead of jealous or aggravated he should be like yup, thanks guys, and she's ALL MINE! LOL But I know easier said that done for some men.

Yea, I would like to think that he would think that way.