Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Now when I see MO people...



Recommended Posts

Similar journey in some ways, thank you for sharing. I didn't realize this was an option for me either,I have a love hate feeling with it. Thankful and humbled for the help, but I'm still embarrassed sometimes that its come to such an important moment of change.

12 hours ago, Sheribear68 said:

Yeah it was after cancer scare #2 in early 2018 that I was seeing a new, young, female PCP.
I was so horrified bc I was in her office seeing her for the first time and I started crying when I saw my weight. I’d managed to gain over 20 pounds in 2017 and was falling apart bc of it.

She wasn’t phased at all by the fact that I’d shown up as a hot mess. In fact, she’s the one who gently asked me if I’d ever heard of/considered WLS. I was stunned bc I honestly thought that WLS was just for the super-MO people (thanks to shows like my 600 pound life) so I didn’t even realize someone like me (bouncing between 36-42% BMI) would be a candidate.

If my PCP had not put that idea in my head, I would’ve never come to it on my own due to just assuming I wasn’t “fat” enough. It took me several more months of researching, checking with my insurance, going to a seminar, and—quite honestly— gaining intentionally an extra 15 pounds so I could qualify, but once the idea was there and I learned what I needed to do and determined I was ready it all fell into place.
Yeah, the months leading up to surgery after the decision was made was tedious. It took me over 8 months from decision time to surgery day, but now the reward is just simply life-transforming

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 9/2/2019 at 12:55 PM, AZhiker said:

I feel the same way. But hardly anyone really wants to make the lifestyle changes. Before surgery, my grocery cart was filled with veggies and healthy foods. I really did not eat junk or processed foods. I was trying to make the positive changes - I just couldn't stop eating and ate from emotional origins.

But look at the carts from so many MO folks - soda, beer, chips, donuts, sugary cereals. Surgery is not going to fix that. My heart goes out to them, it truly does, but at some point folks have to start helping themselves by education, first of all. The saddest ones are the kids. LIttle fat kids who don't have a chance.

I started eating healthy a few years ago. Just discovered some food triggers on this journey! Fixed what I can, and working on the rest! I haven't shared the fact that I am having surgery with many people. I just don't want to hear all the horror stories, or be belittled for "failing" to do this on my own, and taking the "easy" way out! This past 6 months just getting TO the surgery has been no picnic! LOL And I know easy street doesn't start on 24 September! This is a life long commitment now!

I know people like the above. Complain about their weight, aches, pains, medical issues, all while pounding down a Big Mac and fries, snack cakes, candy, chips, etc! My tongue bleeds now, from biting it. I am going to need some real control later on! You can't help those who don't want it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sheri bear - sorry about your friend and hope the prognosis improves One of the few people I spoke WLS was a friend who gave me her too small clothes as she gained when I was at my largest I 100 percent know WLS would have saved her life. I never pushed and she supported my decision Different choices different paths. I am alive and she is not. Do not tell me obesity does not kill.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 09/05/2019 at 05:54, Stella S said:

Sheri bear - sorry about your friend and hope the prognosis improves One of the few people I spoke WLS was a friend who gave me her too small clothes as she gained when I was at my largest I 100 percent know WLS would have saved her life. I never pushed and she supported my decision Different choices different paths. I am alive and she is not. Do not tell me obesity does not kill.

It’s heart-breaking, isn’t it?

My friend and her sister (who is just as SUPER-MO) live together, work together, and will most likely die together decades before they “should”.
Their mother died in her mid-60’s from complications of MO and during this spring when I could get to the CICU, I got to spend time with their father.
Poor man. He’s lost his wife to MO, and you can see in his eyes he knows there’s a better than even chance he will lost 1– if not both daughters- to MO.

Sadly I think it’s too late for my friend. She’ll more than likely never get that transplant bc she’s too far gone to even be a realistic candidate at this point.
As unbelievable as it seems, she’s noticeably put on even more weight since her 2-3 month stint in ICU.
It simultaneously makes me so relieved that I was able to find my way out of that horrible labyrinth, but terribly sad that she never made it through. Meanwhile I still have who knows how many more years to watch her slowly kill her self.
I hate it

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And Sheribear68, just come to MY COUNTY, Knox County Ohio, We have so Many MO, even toddlers and Children, and I Also WISH I COULD EVANGELIZE them ALL, although as Green Tealael alluded Many of Them WOULD NOT ACCEPT the MESSAGE. Part of the Reason I really deserve my Pen Name for I can Cry in Frustration for Them All, many will Die Too Soon, Those who STILL Live will have a Much Sadder Existence- I KNOW Because for MANY YEARS I Too Was THERE and it is a Living Purgatory and I wish Each of THEM could find THEIR WAY to Freedom as I DID. I spent so Much Time, and at Half the Size I once was I have gone from MO to Overweight classification and I don't know if I could even make it down to a "Normal" BMI, at MY HEIGHT that would be 140 pounds, I am proud and grateful to be (Drum Roll Please!) 182.3 pounds this day, My First Surgiversity, haven't made it down to my GOAL- 175- but I CAN SEE IT SHINING FOR ME JUST AHEAD- and Please GOD,may it STILL Happen😛👣😛🌈

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 09/05/2019 at 10:23, Frustr8 said:

And Sheribear68, just come to MY COUNTY, Knox County Ohio, We have so Many MO, even toddlers and Children, and I Also WISH I COULD EVANGELIZE them ALL, although as Green Tealael alluded Many of Them WOULD NOT ACCEPT the MESSAGE. Part of the Reason I really deserve my Pen Name for I can Cry in Frustration for Them All, many will Die Too Soon, Those who STILL Live will have a Much Sadder Existence- I KNOW Because for MANY YEARS I Too Was THERE and it is a Living Purgatory and I wish Each of THEM could find THEIR WAY to Freedom as I DID. I spent so Much Time, and at Half the Size I once was I have gone from MO to Overweight classification and I don't know if I could even make it down to a "Normal" BMI, at MY HEIGHT that would be 140 pounds, I am proud and grateful to be (Drum Roll Please!) 182.3 pounds this day, My First Surgiversity, haven't made it down to my GOAL- 175- but I CAN SEE IT SHINING FOR ME JUST AHEAD- and Please GOD,may it STILL Happen😛👣😛🌈

CONGRATS on your first surgiversary and the weight you’ve lost! Hey you’ve now got years added on that you didn’t have pre-surgery so yes..... you’ve got sweet sweet time to get your goals in.

I live in Oklahoma, which is in the top 5 fattest states. It always discouraged me to see so many MO people around, and I felt like such a hypocrite being a health care professional.
Now that I’m almost “normal” BMI, (25.8–woo hoo) I feel even more of a responsibility as a FFF (former fat female) to let people know they don’t have to live trapped in this hell

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Amen and Amen from a FFNF, Formerly Fat and Now Fantastic sister! May your Future Shine as Bright As Mine Has Become!👍😝🌈

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Sheribear68 Ouch! So sorry to hear about your friend!!! ((hugs)) TG you are escaping that fate with every day of your lifestyle change!!!

I know how you feel and can relate! And for anyone who is genuinely interested in hearing my journey and not just a rubbernecker, I will discuss the specifics. But for anyone else who looks at me, there is no doubt that I'm somewhat fanatical religious about making good choices--cuz like you, we have some big strikes we deal with.

But sadly, no one likes reformed smokers or reformed alcoholics. So we do just have to live our lives. And sometimes the best testimony is through action rather than words. Live your life hon. Let your friends feel safe, coming to you when or if they are ready. ((hugs))

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 9/2/2019 at 3:57 PM, Sheribear68 said:

I know, right?
Back a few years ago when I was in a running phase, I could run 3-5 miles at a time and even though it wasn’t pretty, I could do a 5 mile run in under an hour.
At that time I was “skinnier” at a weight in the 230’s.
Mostly I’d run on a treadmill at the gym, but from time to time I’d run in my neighborhood.
One time I was running outside and a really fit and trim lady was heading out to her mailbox.
It was a cul de sac and she waited for me to run past because she was actually cheering and gave me a “high five” as I labored past her.
I’m 100% certain her heart was in the right place, but it was humiliating to me.
I ran on until I got a couple of streets away and then broke into tears right there on the street and walked the rest of the way home. Don’t think I ran outside again for a few weeks after that

People run all of the time in my neighborhood and I’m willing to bet the skinny ones don’t get high fives from that lady. The pain and humiliation of that memory is what keeps my thoughts to myself.
I have told myself though that if anyone ever gives me an opening, I will share whatever health history of mine they want to know if I can just impact one single person to make this choice.

I was running when MO as well. At one point I had an older, trim woman say to me “good for you!”. It was a pat on the head, not on the back. To hell with that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How condescending that must have felt, like you were a Old Female Dog and She was Coo-ing " GOOD GIRL" Grrr!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

23 hours ago, Frustr8 said:

And Sheribear68, just come to MY COUNTY, Knox County Ohio, We have so Many MO, even toddlers and Children, and I Also WISH I COULD EVANGELIZE them ALL, although as Green Tealael alluded Many of Them WOULD NOT ACCEPT the MESSAGE. Part of the Reason I really deserve my Pen Name for I can Cry in Frustration for Them All, many will Die Too Soon, Those who STILL Live will have a Much Sadder Existence- I KNOW Because for MANY YEARS I Too Was THERE and it is a Living Purgatory and I wish Each of THEM could find THEIR WAY to Freedom as I DID. I spent so Much Time, and at Half the Size I once was I have gone from MO to Overweight classification and I don't know if I could even make it down to a "Normal" BMI, at MY HEIGHT that would be 140 pounds, I am proud and grateful to be (Drum Roll Please!) 182.3 pounds this day, My First Surgiversity, haven't made it down to my GOAL- 175- but I CAN SEE IT SHINING FOR ME JUST AHEAD- and Please GOD,may it STILL Happen😛👣😛🌈

Good news, Frustr8! At 5'8" normal weight starts at about 160, not 140!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 09/05/2019 at 21:16, AngieBear said:






I was running when MO as well. At one point I had an older, trim woman say to me “good for you!”. It was a pat on the head, not on the back. To hell with that.


My thoughts exactly.

I feel like I should carry a sign around warning people “former fat chick, mess with me at your peril!”

I’m still going to have to curb my enthusiasm when I see MO patients, but dammit I just want to give them a big hug and explain there’s a way out. Yeah it takes hard work, but there’s a way out

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On at , Sheribear68 said:


I know, right?

Back a few years ago when I was in a running phase, I could run 3-5 miles at a time and even though it wasn’t pretty, I could do a 5 mile run in under an hour.

At that time I was “skinnier” at a weight in the 230’s.

Mostly I’d run on a treadmill at the gym, but from time to time I’d run in my neighborhood.

One time I was running outside and a really fit and trim lady was heading out to her mailbox.

It was a cul de sac and she waited for me to run past because she was actually cheering and gave me a “high five” as I labored past her.

I’m 100% certain her heart was in the right place, but it was humiliating to me.

I ran on until I got a couple of streets away and then broke into tears right there on the street and walked the rest of the way home. Don’t think I ran outside again for a few weeks after that



People run all of the time in my neighborhood and I’m willing to bet the skinny ones don’t get high fives from that lady. The pain and humiliation of that memory is what keeps my thoughts to myself.

I have told myself though that if anyone ever gives me an opening, I will share whatever health history of mine they want to know if I can just impact one single person to make this choice.

Oh it cuts to the quick!! I hear ya. If our societies didn't place moral worth judgements on people because we struggle with obesity, I'm sure there are many many many more people who would seek proper medical help and we would be able to recommend it without the stigma.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 09/03/2019 at 3:56 a.m., Krimsonbutterflies said:



I really hate seeing morbidly obese on my medical records, it just hurts me. When my GP recommended me to the Bariatric program last September, I cried and felt shame. However, I was crying out for help and my GP knew I had health issues due to my excess weight. I'm tall and my weight is pretty evenly proportioned, so ppl didnt know that I was 280. I cried uncontrollably and I have been on this journey since last September 17th, 2018. I'm 249 pounds now and having surgery (vsg) in January 2020, I get my date tomorrow. The Dr. wanted to perform the surgery in October or November, but I have to wait until January to assure I have enough paid time off on the books...I'm going to be working on my fitness routine and mental health, while I'm waiting. It will be here before I know it, time is going quickly.


You got this! Having that extra time to do head work will really pay off in the long run. And if you're evenly proportioned, please God you'll lose it proportionally as well 👍

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recent Topics

  • Most popular:

  • Recent Status Updates

    • veisor  »  Panda333

      Hi!
      Thank you for replying.   It means the world to me.  It also confirmed what I been feeling about which procedure to choose.   I fall into the category as you do and elected the sleeve as it seemed to be less invasive and recovery would be better and faster,  however I am so afraid to regain the weight back since I rarely eat and obesity runs in my family.   I have two siblings that had the bypass and they have been successful.  My sister was in the high 400's and is about 140 now and has been for several years since her procedure.  I guess I felt that the sleeve would allow me to have more control, however I realized that I can't control my genetics and that is one of the biggest reasons that I am here.  Yes, I have not always made the best choices but trust me when I say that I have been on the loss and regain + more rollercoaster weight ride for yrs! I have spent so much money as I am sure you have as well as many others who are going through this.  It is not easy and anyone who thinks this is a copout is crazy!!! This has been harder than anything I have done including hiring a personal trainer to kick my butt in the gym! And still with all the gym hours, clean eating "not to mention the clean eating cost" I knew it was time that I moved to the next step to finally be who I know in my head and heart cause when I see myself in the mirror,  well let's just say is not the girl I see in my mind. 
      So thanks again for your reply and I hope that we can keep in touch through our journey. 
      😊
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • AggiG

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Pookeyism

      I'm going in for a sleeve revision October 4th. It worked well for me, and I am not back to my starting weight. However, a revision is strongly encouraged at this time (there are additional medical issues). I have decided to forgo the insurance process, even though I know I would eventually be approved. "Eventually" is the key issue here. I have a small window to create this to where it will not impact my work or home life as much, and waiting for the insurance approval would take over a year.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ms.sss

      I just read @BoredCW's status post and also want to lament the loss of my butt.  Looking at me the side, my back is basically flat from my neck to my knees.  My jeans have lovely fabric folds draping from my backside from lack of filling.
      Two days ago, I was sitting on a worn couch at the gym and I could feel the springs and count how many I was sitting on.  Told the Kid and she said she wants to find her childhood alphabet fridge magnets in the basement to spell out words and have me sit on them and do some "butt-braille-reading" 😂
      · 5 replies
      1. FluffyChix

        HI-LAR-ious! I love your kid!!!

        Yeah, we all suffer from noassatall syndrome. :(

      2. 2Bsmaller18

        Yes. I think the spandex in jeans is the only thing that helps keep the sag below the pockets form looking ridiculous. Even leggings wrinkle there.

      3. ms.sss

        Ah, our disappearing collective butts.

        I am seriously considering changing my plastics plan. I am booked for an arm lift in December, but my summer obsession with arm exercises has improved the look of them quite a bit to the point that I think I may hate my butt more than my arms. Should I do a butt lift instead?!?! In conjunction with?!?!?

        I am trying to cultivate an obsession with butt exercises but its not working so far...

      4. 2Bsmaller18

        I don't think you could do both at the same time. For me personally it's arms. I have granny wrinkles down to my elbows. I can always dover my body with tshirts, pants, etc but unless I wear long sleeves my arms are an issue. I also can't wear a small enough jacket since it fits everywhere but too tight in the arms. They measure around 13.5 inches. Can you compromise and get the smaller arm lift. I don't know if that saves much $ or recovery but if your arms improved that much maybe just a tweek will work?

      5. ms.sss

        The difference in price for a mini arm lift and the full arm lift at my surgeon is less thank 2K and probably not worth the savings. May as well pay the extra bit and get the full arm lift as my sag also reaches my elbows. You are right though, my arms see the light of day way more than my butt does...I'll have to see if the continued butt exercises will change my mind down the road (but it's looking more and more that a butt lift is in my future)

        P.S. At the beginning of my 2 week pre-op diet, my upper right arm measured 17.75 inches in circumference. Now its 10. And that is with the extra skin still.

    • BoredCW

      On the 3 week plateau from hell.. It seems like an endless desert with sand dunes that represent the 1-2 pounds gain then dropped from day to day. Met with my weight loss group tonight and was told its normal. That this is sometimes like a step, plateau then drop, plateau then drop. Only for the plateau's to go on longer the farther away from the surgery date I get. Much like EDM, I can't wait for the drop. 
      On top of it all, I lost my ass. Seriously.. its gone. All that cushion that I enjoyed lounging on eating what ever I ate, watching what ever was on the computer or tv... is gone. That glorious support system is vamoosed. I know this because my ass (tailbone) hurts all the time. I'm sitting on bone now and its sore. I am my own literal Pain in the Ass! (My family would say whats new, but who cares about them.. my butt hurts.) I have yet to bring a pillow with me everywhere I go to sit on, but I'm getting ready to as I sit for my job working on computers. So far losing the weight is a Pain. I hope it gets better. 
      · 2 replies
      1. ms.sss

        Hang in there, the plateau will end eventually. Also I feel you on the butt thing.

      2. FluffyChix

        I have a butt pillow. I'm not proud. :D

        The plateaus suck!!!! Keep the faith and motor on!

  • Trending Topics

  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs
    ×