Feeling like there’s no hope for me...(LONG)

[imtired 18]

Hi all! Wondering if anyone has heard of or been through a similar situation, and what was the eventual outcome.
Back in 2011, I had a lapband placed. I was a slow loser until I began to have issues getting/keeping food down. (No surprise there. Not eating will do wonders for your weight!) Anyhow, I was dealing with heartburn and nighttime reflux (waking up multiple times during night coughing/gagging). I was losing a lot of weight, but began getting fevers on a weekly basis. Sadly, because I was so very happy to have lost weight (which was my goal), I went on dealing with the mess until I just got sick of being sick. In 2015, I went to my surgeon, got some tests, and was told my band would need to be removed. My surgeon said she planned to sleeve me at the same time.
During the surgery, the surgeon says she ran into issues. My stomach “collapsed” and they weren’t able to “sleeve” it. She did remove a portion, and called it a partial gastrectomy. At the time of surgery, I weighed 113 lbs at 5’4”. Pretty underweight.
I have steadily gained weight over the years. I’ve never felt like I was sleeved (restriction-wise). I’ve gone back into the dieting cycle and come out a (non)loser as usual. The only good thing to come from this was that I joined Orangetheory Fitness in 2016. I’d always been afraid to join a gym due to my weight/appearance before. Orangetheory is a tough workout! (I highly recommend!) Despite my efforts, I’ve regained to 220 lbs. It’s devastating.
I recently went to a new surgeon for a consultation. (I didn’t return to my original surgeon because they don’t take insurance AT ALL anymore. I paid cash for the Lapband, and just don’t have the funds to pay cash for another surgery at this point.) This new surgeon had a “tough love” reputation, which I actually like, in theory. In reality, he made me feel so ashamed. He was rude, condescending, and made me feel like a waste of his time. The one good thing he did, however, was order me an upper GI to evaluate my anatomy and see if I can even be a candidate for further surgery. I have an appointment with a different surgeon for a consultation in a few weeks. This surgeon comes highly recommended by a friend who is a patient. I’m struggling whether to return to the Rude surgeon, just to see what he has to say about what he sees.
Has anyone else been in this situation? I did have a thin strip removed from my stomach (9” long, about 1.5” wide). I wonder if this is it...I’m on my own from here?
Sorry for the wall of text. Any input would be appreciated. Thanks!

[GreenTealael 24,858]

Not in your situation but im sure a 2nd, 3rd even 4th opinion would help. Also the DS or SIPS would be the most effective and final surgery option for someone who was previously (even if only slightly) sleeved

Good luck 💜

Edited March 26, 2019 by GreenTealael

[imtired 18]

Thanks for the input :)

[FluffyChix 17,409]

Gosh sorry you're going through this! The things I would do?

1. Go see Rude Surgeon and get copies of your chart from him including the test (which should have a report and pics) so you can take it to your second opinion surgeon.

2. Start today with a pre-op meal plan that ditches:

Grains (whole or processed grains)

White Things (sugar, potatoes, flour, rice, tapioca or corn starches)

Diet Drinks

Caffeinated Drinks

Clean the crap outta the pantry (chips, pretzels, Pasta, candy, etc.)

3. Start today with meals

Prioritizing lean Protein. 3-4oz per meal. Eat it first (the drier and plainer the better).

Include a 1/2 cup-1cup serving cooked veg.

Include a 1/2-1cup serving salad with homemade vinaigrette dressing

Aim for only 3 meals per day without snacking. (If you must snack, limit it to 1 or 2 Snacks of 100cals or less and very low carb/higher protein: cheese stick, hb egg, 1-2oz lunchmeat, raw veg with Greek Yogurt Ranch.)

4. Start today to track your calories and macros and plan your meals. I'd use MFP and I'd aim pre-surgery for 1500 cals, 20-30g of total carbs, 74g protein, and healthy fat to make up the calories until you reach 1500.

**See if you can begin feeling satiety and restriction. I agree with @GreenTealael that I would do the DS from where you are--especially if you are dealing with issues of satiety. But you might be able to get back on track just from revamping your diet and eliminating all the crud that has crept in. It will definitely help keep you full longer.

[SusieQ2019 567]

Showing tough love and rude are two different things. I wouldn't want my surgeon to sugar coat anything for me but in the meantime I want my surgeon to treat me with respect and kindness. You've had a couple of rough years and you deserve the best care possible. I say find a surgeon that you are happy and comfortable with.

Wishing you the best of luck.

Edited March 26, 2019 by SusieQ2019

[imtired 18]

@FluffyChix and @SusieQ2019 Thank you both for some solid advice. I really appreciate you!

[FluffySaysForkIt! 823]

The vets on here are giving you some really good, solid advice,

I can't offer much in terms of that kind of support, but I wanted to take a minute to tell you a few things that even I CAN see.

First, give yourself some grace. You are here, asking for help. NOT because you are some quitter or a failure, but because YOU ARE A FIGHTER!

Second, don't let anyone make you feel like "a waste of time". f**k THAT BS!!! Go back to that a-hole Surgeon just to get the information you need and move on.

Third, you are not hopeless. I really DO understand that feeling of despair, of feeling hopeless. (I suspect there are a lot of other people here who do, too.) However, I think its a lie we all tell ourselves at one time or another. You DO have hope as, even now, you are still looking for answers and working for a solution. If you are breathing you have hope. Hold on to it and don't let go.

You can do this!

-Sending you some peace and, hopefully, just a tiny mirror reflection of the strength you have within yourself that even this stranger can see. ❤️

[imtired 18]

@FluffySaysForkIt! Thank you for your kind words. I’ll remember them and push onward ☺️

[FluffyChix 17,409]

Getting back on track is THE hardest first step. But we can bear anything for 1 day right? Start today. This day. Just do 1 day. That's all. One day. Don't worry about anything other than this day, the present meal.

Then tomorrow, do it again.

Pretty soon you will look back and see a string of successful days and you will feel more in control of your universe.

Swearsies.

[PinePal 9]

I feel your pain....when they took my band out, after 10 years of throwing up I may add, I gained all the weight back in the months I was healing waiting for a sleeve surgery....so here I go down the road again hoping the sleeve will get me back to where I was.

Not much help....just comiserating. 😏

[imtired 18]

Thank you @FluffyChix. One day at a time 😊
@PinePal Hang in there. Thanks for commiserating in our suck-y situations. 🙃

[Avery's Mom 315]

much love to you! I agree get your records and move on from RUDE surgeon. Good luck and keep us posted.

[imtired 18]

Thanks @Avery’s Mom!

[DanaC84 1,116]

I’m so sorry you’ve had this experience. I agree with SusieQ, BIG difference between tough love and just downright rude. AFTER you get all your records and another surgeon (if that’s the route you choose) make sure to leave a google review. Save someone else the misery. Good luck 😘

[imtired 18]

Thanks DanaC84! You’re right about the Google review. I’m not usually one to leave reviews of any kind... but I think this really deserves one! 🤗