Hi, I had my RNY done back in 15. I did not adhere to my doctor's suggestion of the South Beach Diet. Reasons shmeezuns. I never lost much weight, 35#'s +/-. I still weigh 35#'s from my surgery weight. I am mobility impaired, I'm scheduled to help that soon, so I can get out and swim at the YMCA. Just joined. Imobility and refusal/fear of following the diet have ruined me. I'm not offering excuses, but I ask two things in all seriousness....is it too late for me to try again, and actually lose 100 to 150 pounds? Is my stomach shot for good?

So you've lost 35 lbs and maintained that 35 lbs loss?

If that's the case you're still far better off than those who've lost a ton and regained that ton. How's that for starters?

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If your pouch is "shot for good" or not, nobody here can now. Do you still feel some restriction? What and how much do you usually eat?

Thank you. I feel restriction if I eat a normal adult sized meal, as opposed to my usual smaller quantities. I eat all foods, good and bad, 3 to 4 times a day. Ease is key, as I live with very painful mobility (hopefully for the moment only!) I don't eat much, just the wrong choices.

Another option to think about is counseling/therapy. It can help with the fear of following your meal plan and your relationship with food.

Thank you, I've been in therapy for a few things for years. I think it's time I address what you've mentioned. ?

Whatever you do: ask yourself the question if you're willing/able to do that forever or at least for a very long time.

Good point. I'm talking to my husband right now about the work I'm going to have ahead of me and the mental/ financial stress it's going to bring about. But I have this very strong pull to just do it. Either I do it or I don't, right? As for the forever, I think "forever" is the point however I can only survive if I think in the AA way, take it one day at a time. But forever is ideal.

Step by step Heidihoo, I believe you can get both your mind and body tuned up into better shape, you're not a lost cause either way. You didn't fail as much as do something disappointing to yourself. Forgive yourself and try,to keep moving on.

11 hours ago, Heidihoo said:

As for the forever, I think "forever" is the point however I can only survive if I think in the AA way, take it one day at a time. But forever is ideal.

People are different. This day-by-day thing never worked for me. Well, it worked for a while when I was white-knuckling something temporary through (e. g. studying for exams after work) but it never worked longterm.

I personally think it's an interesting mind game when you're asking yourself:

"How does the thought of going to the gym six times a week for the next 30 years make me feel? Do I feel exited? Do I want to run away and hide? Do I want to scream in horror? Am I in doubt that this will work out? Do I really think it's possible considering my daily schedule?"

"How does imagining never eating food xyz feels in my body? Is my heart rate going up a bit? Am I getting nervous? Am I afraid that I'm not "strong enough" to make this happen for the next 30 years?"

I think these mind games are very eye opening in many situations, not only when it comes to eating/exercise/weight. Of course it's not a foolproof 100% working method but I find it to be very helpful, especially when it comes to longer term commitment.

Stop hating what you think are your bad points, instead celebrate your good points, you really have a lot going good for you if you just stop and think. Never look back, that's not the direction you are headed! ?