Often I hear about folks who had "buyers remorse" for a short time after surgery.

If you experienced this....

When did it start, and how long did it last?

Any advice for others if they start to experience this?

Thanks!

Still early for me. I had an idea surgery experience, by God's grace, and I'm less than a month out. But none so far.

So I had the buyers remorse big time for the first 3 months. Then a big case of the "mehs" for the next two. It was only when I moved into my 5-6 month I was finally at peace with my decision. But for me it was a special case with the GERD, I suppose. I needed to have some physical relief before I could accept things and be happy with my loss.

I think one of the big things you have to do is look at small steps with more focus than the big picture to get you through that first month. For me it was counting the days till I was on pureed foods. When I first got out of post op it seemed like 2 weeks would be FOREVER but it was here before I knew it. Even just getting to full liquids and having a few more options over clear was a huge step in having a positive attitude for me. And then once you get to purees just tell yourself "only a week to soft foods". It goes by faster than you think, especially if you find other ways to keep yourself occupied.

Hi everyone! First post and I am not sure what took me so long to join an online forum, but gald to get started!

I wouldn't say I had buyers remorse what-so-ever, but after the first 4 weeks, the pounds that were coming off in twos, slowed drastically. I was concerned that I had just shelled out $2K for 18 pounds. I reached out to my doc and he responded with a very generic "as you get close to your goal weight it will slow"...ya I am FAR from my goal weight, so why is it stopping?!?

Looking back now, I am realizing how silly that was. Eventually it started moving again, but slowly. Other than that, I am very happy with my result so far and I am excited to see what the future holds for me.

I did! It started the day after I came home from the hospital and lasted 2, maybe three days. There were a couple of moments after that but mostly then. I was in pain, couldn’t eat, couldn’t get out of bed without help.... I had a demanding toddler who didn’t understand why I couldn’t lift her and didn’t give a fig that Mommy had boo boos. It passed though, as I was quickly distracted by new challenges associated with my surgery... Mostly having to do with drinking enough fluids and eating. How to do it, how much, the grams of protein I needed, what foods were theoretically okay to eat but my body didn’t want. I treated it like levels in a video game, which made it fun.

On 10/30/2018 at 19:28, Missouri-Lee's Summit said:

I think it's only natural to experience such feelings. We've made a drastic, often irreversible, alternation to our bodies. We're not feeling physically like ourselves. There may be pain or discomfort, vomiting, constipation, hunger, lack of hunger... and the list goes on. Probably even more involved are the emotional or psychological changes going on inside of us post-surgery. We know things will never really be the same. This can be both thrilling and terrifying. What if we are one of those weird weight-loss surgery outliers who doesn't lose weight for whatever reason?! We almost convince ourselves that after our first stall we are indeed one of those rare few!

We've invested time, money, starved ourselves in preparation for surgery, had labwork, had to convince a nutritionist that we are committed to the nutritional challenges required, had to convince a psychologist that we aren't nuts, and go through 6 months or more of supervised weight loss by our primary doctor. We also read about all the pros and cons of WLS until our eyes practically bled from fatigue and overuse. Arghh!

As for advice, it's pretty much the same advice for most wholesale changes we face. Time. Time heals, but time also moves so s l o w l y.

Posting this topic and asking questions and for advice was a smart move. Just bringing the subject to the front of your consciousness validates it's importance to you. Some may dismiss "buyer's remorse" as an inconsequential little thing. I'd disagree. It's something we've all had to deal with to a varying degree, whether we're able to admit to ourselves or not.

My advice is to keep thinking about upcoming goals... how you'll look in smaller clothing, how you'll feel when you finally weigh less than 200lbs, how it feels to eat half or a fourth of something and feel full. Hey, just creating a list of things to look forward to may help to counter that feeling of buyer's remorse. And, of course, leaving long, rambling comments like this one may help, too. Who knows?!

Great response to a very good thread!

@ Missouri- Lees Summit, so often you "cut to the chase" , just another of the reasons I enjoy finding your postings!???

I have to agree with @abefroman329
The first couple days I had huge buyers remorse from the pain and not being able to eat. As the days went by it got easier and as the pounds started coming off it really helped a lot. I do not regret it at all now that I am 14 months out. The weight loss has stopped and I have actually started to gain but it is what it is.

I regretted it at times early on thinking what did I just do? I can't live like this forever? Breaking up with food was hard, but certainly not impossible.

Today I could not be happier with my decision to have had surgery. Once I stopped future tripping about all the food I couldn't eat down the road it all got so much easier. It took me two years to finally get over not really being able to eat. Now I barely think about food. I never dreamed this could be possible.

I had buyer's remorse for the first 2-3 days post op, then just here and there for the next week or so.

I was like 'What did I do?!"

This passes.

I dont have time to have buyers remorse. I am too busy focusing on getting my liquids in and such. I honestly do not have buyers remorse. I did a lot of research going in and am a very rule/authoritive oriented person. To me, all i did to myself was put a rule in place that cannot be broken. Whereas before, when i dieted, i had a rule in place, but i broke it every time. This will control that breaking of the rule after you lose so much weight.

See, I avoided thinking about it as "Buyers Remorse" and more "Growing pains" or really, "Losing pains". I knew the transition from where I was, to where I am now was going to be rough, and it was, but damn was it worth it! The trick is to avoid thinking about it in an overly negative way with no positive spin or potential. I took all the negatives and thought of them as little things to beat. I stood in front of all the candy in the store, hungry and sad, knowing every thing on that wall was bad. I stood there and thought to myself "Screw you candy, sure you are tasty, but you are part of why I'm fat, you've had a hand in attempting to reduce my lifespan, I'm done with you" I did not shy away from anything I loved before the surgery that I may or may not ever be able to have again. This is where I came away with the "swaps". There are plenty of things you can eat, to satisfy a craving that are anywhere from "eh, it's better than that" to "this is actually a healthy option". Rather than candies or fake sweets, I go for fruits. A bowl of chilled fresh cut strawberries and a banana... so tasty and "good" for you. I used to down pints of ice cream without thinking about it. Those Ben and Jerry's would net me 1200 - 1600 calories mindlessly watching TV. I found Halo Top ice cream, they take a little bit to get used to, but they are a max of like 320 calories a pint and have a decent amount of protein in them as well, so they would be a "eh it's better than that" category, It's a lot less calories and junk... but it's still not really a "healthy" option, but 320 is sure a lot better than 1600!

I honestly have never had it and only feel such an overwhelming sense of possibility and wonder at this opportunity. I'm too busy feeling gratitude to everyone who made this chance possible. You know?

But I feel so sad for everyone who has gone through this or is presently going through it. It DOES get better. Keep on swimming!