Matt Z

I adjusted from 10.4 to 8 and it seems to have helped quite a bit. I talked with my PCP and she suggested that I keep playing with the pressure until I get something I can tolerate, that I've still got a ways to go with weight loss and it would be unwise to have a study now, only to have to have another one in a few months. I agreed. Thank you very much! This week has been much better.

Just not feeling "it" this week. I'm exhausted, not sleeping well, feeling really run down, drained. I feel fat. I know I'm not anywhere near as fat as I was, but... I feel fat this week. Bloated, gross, fat fat fat fat fat. My sleep **SUCKS** not sure if it's the weight loss changing my CPAP pressure requirements, or something else all together. I don't want to have to get another sleep study, because they blow, but I know I need some follow up. Not looking forward to yet another medical bill. Work sucks this week too, a shop of 5, reduced to 2. really 1 and a half since it's just me and my team lead, and my team lead has to do all the leadership / team lead stuff... so, It's just me, supporting just under 3000 users, on over 2000 computer systems, in 20-30 buildings spread out over all of RI, parts of Mass and CT. Fun stuff. I've been in and out of stalls for almost a month now, more in than out of at this point. Between Monday and today I'm up 2 lbs... not sure why exactly. All intake is right where it should be and I've been in the gym daily. Not going today, just not feeling it. Way too tired and drained to even care really. Growing tired of this forum again as well. Which sucks because, well, I do enjoy helping folks out. Just getting to the point where every question has been answered over and over again, yet almost no one bothers to use the search function first. So that's it really... Not a happy Matt at all this week.

WLS is hard. I knew this going into my band back in 2011. I knew this going to my revision to bypass this past March. I expected it to be hard. I'm getting very frustrated with the struggle. Granted this is coming from a place where I'm working 10+ hour days, we just had to put a dog down, and I'm stalling hard every few days. My body fat has been slowly reducing but not the weight. And again, I get that it's a process. Just venting I guess. I'm in the gym almost every day, only missed 2 days total in over a month. One was because a friend needed help with his car, so I spent several hours in the junk yard getting a door off for him, so I might have missed the gym, but I certainly didn't miss the workout that day! And the other day was this past Tuesday, because my pup got put down while I was at work. She was old, and I knew it was coming, but that doesn't change the waves of depression and emotional break downs the loss is causing. Just need a win this week and everything is coming up crap. Our dryer stopped working and 4 parts later, too much money and too much effort and it's still not working. Just feels like this whole week has it out for me.

Today marks Day 4 post Band to Bypass revision. Isopure Zero Carb RTDs are going down so easy, I'm getting over 40 grams of protein a day already and upwards of 60 oz of water. I'm down just over 22 lbs since the 2nd of March already. Stomach bloating/swelling is still in full effect, but other areas are clearly thinning out. The 2x daily injections still weird me out. Overall doing quite well. Each day things get just a little bit better.

So, I'm 8 days until my revision surgery. I'm on the pre-op liquid diet and it sucks. I've started using the PatchMD vitamins, still not 100% sure how they get more weight in vitamins and minerals than 1 patch actually weighs, but I bought them and I'm using them. I've almost gotten all of my leave situation sorted out, just need to wait for the final thumbs up. I'm still nervous, but I know I need to do this. I'm worried about the surgery, the changes that are going to be required and some changes that no one can plan for... but, this is my big year. 20th wedding anniversary and 40th birthday this November. I wanted to be the same weight at 40 that I was at when I was 20, because that would be awesome. But, I'll take what I can get at this point.

So yesterday I got a tentative surgery date for the 21st of March. This one is hard. It seems that with my new job, I don't have TDI. So I need to file a ton of paperwork to see about getting donated leave to cover the 2 month recovery window for this revision. So needless to say, I'm very stressed out about all of this. I'm at a point where, if I can't get the leave, I can't get the surgery, because I can't go 2 months without pay. Very upsetting situation to be in, finding out that I don't have TDI really changed this entire process. I've been jumping through hoops for almost a year now trying to get both the insurance's and my surgeon's check boxes ticked off. And I've got my own goals. This year is my 40th Birthday and my 20th Wedding anniversary. So it's a huge year, I was hoping to be back to what I weighed when I was 20, for my 40th birthday. Not sure if that's going to happen now. Frustrated, upset and a touch angry.