Extreme Stress but Surgery Date Set

[Lillyrose130 7]

I finally got a surgery date, after extreme stress for the past few years. My mom passed away on Mother's Day and I flew in from out of state just in time to be with her. We had a very rough past few years losing both of my brothers, one to cancer and one quite suddenly. This threw my mom into a deep depression and dementia that got progressively worse. Trying to deal with it from another state was very hard and she didn't want any help. I got through losing my younger brother but my older brother really crushed me. I have no other siblings. Now, my husband has prostate cancer that spread to his pelvic bone. Our lives have changed forever. As long as the meds they put him on work, he can live for another 10 or more years. He has started hormone pills as that is the best treatment to keep the Testosterone down. I pray it works as my entire immediate family is gone and I'm terrified of being alone and living without him. His moods are up and down and everyone tells me I have to be strong for him, but I'm not sure I have much strength left! He wants me to go through with the surgery and of course I am, but I have so many other things on my mind. Sorry for venting so much. I am really lonely and scared, but need to do this for myself. I'm hoping it will turn my life around. My husband is trying to prepare me for a life without him and after 33 years of marriage and working so hard toward our retirement plans, I wonder what our future is.

My pre-op is Oct. 10 and my surgery is Oct. 23rd. We should know by then if the hormone pills are helping. I hope all the stress I'm under doesn't effect my recovery.

[GreenTealael 24,864]

40 minutes ago, Lillyrose130 said:

I finally got a surgery date, after extreme stress for the past few years. My mom passed away on Mother's Day and I flew in from out of state just in time to be with her. We had a very rough past few years losing both of my brothers, one to cancer and one quite suddenly. This threw my mom into a deep depression and dementia that got progressively worse. Trying to deal with it from another state was very hard and she didn't want any help. I got through losing my younger brother but my older brother really crushed me. I have no other siblings. Now, my husband has prostate cancer that spread to his pelvic bone. Our lives have changed forever. As long as the meds they put him on work, he can live for another 10 or more years. He has started hormone pills as that is the best treatment to keep the Testosterone down. I pray it works as my entire immediate family is gone and I'm terrified of being alone and living without him. His moods are up and down and everyone tells me I have to be strong for him, but I'm not sure I have much strength left! He wants me to go through with the surgery and of course I am, but I have so many other things on my mind. Sorry for venting so much. I am really lonely and scared, but need to do this for myself. I'm hoping it will turn my life around. My husband is trying to prepare me for a life without him and after 33 years of marriage and working so hard toward our retirement plans, I wonder what our future is.

My pre-op is Oct. 10 and my surgery is Oct. 23rd. We should know by then if the hormone pills are helping. I hope all the stress I'm under doesn't effect my recovery.

Extreme condolences for your losses and current struggles. Prayers for your family.

Stay strong and focused.

Stretch, sleep, cry, vent, breath. Stress wrecks the body and mind. Don't let it win.

Your husband sounds like he wants you as healthy and happy as possible. He sounds very wise.

I don't want to come off as a spokes person for WLS but the sudden and drastic improvements (complication free journey) can be life altering. It will take work, patience and time but hands down I would do it again 100% no matter the external challenges I maybe facing, because this is one decision/path you can control (ofcourse to an extent)

Let us know how you are doing as your surgery approaches.

Edited September 23, 2018 by GreenTealael

[iluvbears42@yahoo.com 48]

Sorry for all the stress and my deepest condolences for your losses. I don't know what I would do in your situation. You need to get healthy so that you will be ok. I know its hard and your husband surely has your heart in his hands. He is giving you the ok so do it. You won't be down for long and I am sure he will be just fine. Big hugs and I hope you have much success on your journey.

[Frustr8 7,886]

My problems seen so petty in comparison, and I thought mine were Overwhelming. Giving you a vitual hug and praying for YOU. Stay strong, Lillyrose!🌹

[Beachladee3 74]

I finally got a surgery date, after extreme stress for the past few years. My mom passed away on Mother's Day and I flew in from out of state just in time to be with her. We had a very rough past few years losing both of my brothers, one to cancer and one quite suddenly. This threw my mom into a deep depression and dementia that got progressively worse. Trying to deal with it from another state was very hard and she didn't want any help. I got through losing my younger brother but my older brother really crushed me. I have no other siblings. Now, my husband has prostate cancer that spread to his pelvic bone. Our lives have changed forever. As long as the meds they put him on work, he can live for another 10 or more years. He has started hormone pills as that is the best treatment to keep the Testosterone down. I pray it works as my entire immediate family is gone and I'm terrified of being alone and living without him. His moods are up and down and everyone tells me I have to be strong for him, but I'm not sure I have much strength left! He wants me to go through with the surgery and of course I am, but I have so many other things on my mind. Sorry for venting so much. I am really lonely and scared, but need to do this for myself. I'm hoping it will turn my life around. My husband is trying to prepare me for a life without him and after 33 years of marriage and working so hard toward our retirement plans, I wonder what our future is.
My pre-op is Oct. 10 and my surgery is Oct. 23rd. We should know by then if the hormone pills are helping. I hope all the stress I'm under doesn't effect my recovery.

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Sent from my SM-G965U using BariatricPal mobile app

[annaisbananas 2]

Hey there.

I just wanted to say I am so sorry you are dealing with all of that. I can't imagine.

I am pre surgery right now, so I don't have really any advice to give, but like the poster above said, your husband would want you to be healthy. You will likely only be off your feet for a short time. Hang in there.

Our surgery dates are really close, and it looks like we are both in WA. I am here if you need to chat.

[Lillyrose130 7]

Thanks so much to all of you! Sometimes you just have to say it loud as it doesn't seem real to me.

Annaisbananas (love this name :)) we are the same height give or take and I'm currently 260. I live in Tacoma, but Washington is a big state! I so appreciate all of you!

[Frustr8 7,886]

So @ Lillyrose how are you doing,now? I know your surgery was scheduled October 23rd, were,you still able to complete it then? And @annaisbananas, are you still,monitoring Bariatric Pal also?

[Lillyrose130 7]

Hi! Thanks for checking in. I just started my 5th week and now am realizing I have to start a "diet" and keep track now. It's hard because I am still craving food just like before. I thought this surgery was supposed to remove the hormone Grehlin, and that you weren't supposed to have cravings or get hungry. I get hunger pains all the time! I look at pizza and cake and still want some! That is disappointing to me because that is why I did this. I thought that would help me get to my true size and in the meantime start new healthy habits. Now, I'm just mad all the time because I can't eat my fav foods like I used to!

Personally, I'm sad. I miss my family and remember what it was like when they were all alive still. I can't explain what a feeling it is to know that everyone that knew me my whole life and experienced growing up with me are gone and I'm on my own. I can't even imagine looking at all my old photos and home movies. Weird huh? So, I just get up every day and go to work and love on my husband and three doggies. I just picture them all together in Heaven watching over me.

I hope all of you will have a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving and give all of your family members extra hugs!

Sorry to be such complainer. Most days I am okay.

Edited November 22, 2018 by Lillyrose130