Back to work/school - what did you tell people?

[AEdoesRnY 531]

Hello! I apologize for asking a question that I'm sure has been asked before, but as I'm awaiting returning to work on Monday for back to school teacher workshops before students arrive the following week, I've been so anxious and nervous about how I'll react and what I'll say to people who comment on my weight loss.

I'm a very private person, my decision to have WLS was a complex one and not something I feel like discussing with all my coworkers. I feel like it's inevitable that people will comment, and I just really don't want it to be an ongoing conversation. It frustrates me that losing weight all of a sudden makes your body "up for discussion", like people think it's then appropriate to ask you all sorts of questions and make all sorts of comments they otherwise wouldn't.

I'm curious to hear from those of you farther along how coming back post surgery went, what you said/didn't say, and how much of a "thing" it was once you were back at work...

THANKS!

[browneyez42 280]

Hello! I apologize for asking a question that I'm sure has been asked before, but as I'm awaiting returning to work on Monday for back to school teacher workshops before students arrive the following week, I've been so anxious and nervous about how I'll react and what I'll say to people who comment on my weight loss.
I'm a very private person, my decision to have WLS was a complex one and not something I feel like discussing with all my coworkers. I feel like it's inevitable that people will comment, and I just really don't want it to be an ongoing conversation. It frustrates me that losing weight all of a sudden makes your body "up for discussion", like people think it's then appropriate to ask you all sorts of questions and make all sorts of comments they otherwise wouldn't.
I'm curious to hear from those of you farther along how coming back post surgery went, what you said/didn't say, and how much of a "thing" it was once you were back at work...
THANKS!

I told my coworkers that I started seeing a nutritionist who is helping me to eat healthier. I eat smaller portions and I've started an exercise program.





Sleeved on April 25, 2018
HW: 258
SW: 238
CW: 205
GW: 165

[Russ D 115]

I've been pretty open and honest. Haven't been broadcasting, but if someone's asked, I've told them.

[Bryn910 519]

I have been open and honest with anyone whom has asked me about my weight loss. EVERYTHING has been positive. Not sure if it’s because I work in healthcare but I have gotten nothing but support and love.

People are generally curious and it hasn’t left my body open to discussion. If it has, it’s been behind my back and never to my face but if people have a question, they ask and it has never been odd or unwelcomed.

I feel the biggest reason people “hide” their weight loss is for fear of failure and unwanted expectations. You tell people you had a life altering surgery and they expect you to lose weight; & if it isn’t successful for you, then you may fear the daunting questions of “what happens?” That’s my opinion.

i his my VSG surgery but I did not hide my rny. Although I didn’t tell anyone it was a revision because I truly lost no weight in the end from my VSG. But you have to do what you feel is right for you.

[KimTriesRNY 1,853]

I wouldn’t tell anyone about surgery, but that’s my opinion.

I tell people I’ve been on a low carb diet and am exercising. I do work in a hospital so I’m sure some people are not fooled but no one has confronted me, and I’m not lying. I just don’t like discussing my medical problems with others.

It’s an individual choice how you will approach it.

[CrankyMagpie 509]

I'm playing with the idea of saying "I'm really uncomfortable talking about my weight. [Obvious subject change]" Because I am, and because it's really rude to comment on/ask about other people's health. And maybe a gentle push will help people behave better.

What the subject change is will vary with context. At work, I'll ask some question about a work project or redirect back to whatever we were talking about before.

With friends ... well, with close friends, I actually won't have this problem, because I'm being honest about what's happening in my life. But with friendly acquaintances, I'll ask them what TV shows or board games they're enjoying lately, something like that.

With family... that's going to be hard. I don't see most of them that often, so it'll be a bit of a shock when they see me, if I'm suddenly down 100 pounds (not outside the realm of possibility, with my in-laws--I see them once a year). I might get my spouse to run interference with that side of the family, to avoid awkward conversations. My brother knows I'm planning to do this, and so does my aunt. My mom... oof, that's going to be an unpleasant conversation, probably. I'll see her a little under 2 months after the surgery, so the loss (and my changed eating habits) will be noticeable. (I might not even be on solid foods yet? So. That's fun!)

Anyway, what I'm saying is, it's your choice what you tell people. I'm not willing to imply that I did it all with willpower alone, because that is cruel to other fat people. But I'm absolutely willing to deflect and refuse to answer.

[Orchids&Dragons 9,047]

1 hour ago, Russ D said:

I've been pretty open and honest. Haven't been broadcasting, but if someone's asked, I've told them.

That's me as well.

[Orchids&Dragons 9,047]

28 minutes ago, CrankyMagpie said:

Anyway, what I'm saying is, it's your choice what you tell people. I'm not willing to imply that I did it all with willpower alone, because that is cruel to other fat people. But I'm absolutely willing to deflect and refuse to answer.

Totally agree!

Doesn't it make you wonder how many people gave you false hope for diet and exercise? And then, you felt like a failure later?

Edited August 25, 2018 by Orchids&Dragons

[NYJenn 1,461]

I had told my teaching team about seeing a nutritionist and starting a new work out regime back in the spring (true) and that I had my gallbladder out in July (also true). Basically I’m just going to tell people that after I had my gallbladder removed there were so many foods I could no longer tolerate and thus, an added bonus was additional weight loss.

[Frustr8 7,886]

Sounds great, sounds workable, and what you delete from the facts is none of their business in the first place.😛

[L@A 11]

Hi, I truly believe you can be an inspiration to many, by briefly telling your story to people/family who ask.! I have found that many individuals talk about changing things, whatever it is, in their lives, but are not empowered enough to follow through. We have taken action. From the initial research, pre op, surgery, and recovery, we accomplished it!! I would recommend not trying to hide it, that’s the old you..Be proud. Talk about it whenever the opportunity comes up!!😁.. You might inspire others to take action with whatever they need to do in their lives. If you feel like you want to tip your toe in the Water to get a feel, so to speak, why not attend a current bariatric class and tell your story of success to the incoming patients. They are feeling unsure and might not know what to expect.. You can quiet their fears and give them hope for a wonderful outcome.. Be proud!! Good Luck!

[Malcy 132]

6 hours ago, KimTriesRNY said:

I wouldn’t tell anyone about surgery, but that’s my opinion.

I tell people I’ve been on a low carb diet and am exercising. I do work in a hospital so I’m sure some people are not fooled but no one has confronted me, and I’m not lying. I just don’t like discussing my medical problems with others.

It’s an individual choice how you will approach it.

I didn't tell a soul either. I do not want to be sized up every time I see someone, or have my food constantly monitored. I feel like it was a personal choice and it's my business and I kept it to myself.

Edited August 25, 2018 by Malcy

[FloweryNYC 7]

I am just telling people 'Its hard, but I'm eating a lot less", not that that's all there is to it but its true and mainly b/c in the past when I lost weight, everyone hated that answer so it shut them right up. People want to hear you did something special but not usually that it's something they could already be doing themselves

[NYJenn 1,461]

On 08/25/2018 at 09:30, AEdoesRnY said:

Hello! I apologize for asking a question that I'm sure has been asked before, but as I'm awaiting returning to work on Monday for back to school teacher workshops before students arrive the following week, I've been so anxious and nervous about how I'll react and what I'll say to people who comment on my weight loss.

I'm a very private person, my decision to have WLS was a complex one and not something I feel like discussing with all my coworkers. I feel like it's inevitable that people will comment, and I just really don't want it to be an ongoing conversation. It frustrates me that losing weight all of a sudden makes your body "up for discussion", like people think it's then appropriate to ask you all sorts of questions and make all sorts of comments they otherwise wouldn't.

I'm curious to hear from those of you farther along how coming back post surgery went, what you said/didn't say, and how much of a "thing" it was once you were back at work...

THANKS!

So how did it go?

[AEdoesRnY 531]

On 08/31/2018 at 22:10, NYJenn said:

So how did it go?

It went fine! I had a couple “you look great” comments but no conversation beyond that. I’ve been finding it hard to stick to my plan but that’s a whole different element that hopefully as first weeks of school are over gets easier (with fewer treats constantly around...)