Need something..

[Imshrinking88 13]

Been a while since I posted on here, I guess a lot is going on in my life and I needed a safe place to vent about my life and not feel like I am being judged. I have dealt with being overweight my entire life. It’s not something I wanted but it happened, it happened because I grew up uneducated about being healthy. At this moment I am looking at a September 17, 2018 surgery date for gastric bypass. Am I scared? Hell ya I am!

In the past week I have lost my boyfriend, he just gave up on me, not an explanation, not a reason. This has been slowly happening for the last few weeks, I believe this surgery drew a line he could not commit to. Am I okay? I am sad, hurt, but I am okay, I am okay because here in a few months he won’t matter. He was 23 years old and this shows his true colors. I can’t have someone in my life or around my kids who can’t be supportive and help me through this. This definitely has taken a toll on me the last few days. But I’m a it happened now rather then later.

My doctor requires four weeks of liquids. Three shake, one for each meal and then Clear Liquids in between, no sugar, coffee ect. I started weening myself onto this on Sunday. I felt if I didn’t train myself I would not being to do it.

I feel like I am a mess… I am a single mother, and I kinda feel alone. My family is very supportive.

But I feel alone. I do miss having someone to talk to and comfort me. I also fear I will never find love which I know seems a bit crazy. Really could use some motivation.

[Neri 73]

I'm sure it's rough, but I know you can do it! I can tell you're an incredibly strong person. And if you ever need anyone to talk to, you can always talk to me.

[Imshrinking88 13]

Thank you so much that means the word to me!

[Neri 73]

Of course! I'm here for you!

[BostonWLKC 806]

I’m sorry you’re feeling lousy. Everything is temporary- and this will eventually pass too and you’ll move on to better days and much more confident ones. Come on here and post often- it helps.

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

It sucks, but really 23 is so young to help parent someone else's children. I know that sounds harsh but that is the type of relationship you need to seek next time around - after you do your own work on yourself - you have a big task ahead of you and need all your reserves for that. Come on here to talk to 'us', we can cheer you on and let you vent when you need to. Good luck dear.

[L@A 11]

Hey guirrlll!!. I believe your motivation might be, the great example you are setting for your child/ kids by you taking positive steps forward!!! It’s funny how the “universe” aligns for us when we really try to make the best decisions for our life!! Your starting on your new path to a healthier more fabulous you, and, it sounds like the old, past, bad habits are not that appealing to you anymore. You are empowering yourself...Your child/kids will model their lives and problem solving capabilities after you. I would recommend focus on your family and yourself now.. It seems like you have started to take control of your life. Anything good and positive along with life changing actions will only benefit you.. and your child/kids.. the truth is,,,no partner will ever do that for you, you have to accomplish this yourself...dust yourself off, pick yourself up, and keep on track moving forward. When you do this, you will attract the best life has to offer....for you and your family..( that ‘ol universe)... I’m 16 days out from my sleeve. Doing well.. your liquid diet will be ok. Stay on it for your own health...and for an easier surgery..Your surgery date will be here before you know it!! Just think, this time next year, Wow!!💃

[Frustr8 7,886]

Hi @Ashleyrocx88, I have a forum "September 2018 Surgeries and Success", love to have you over there too. I also will be having an RnY, my surgery date isSeptember 5th. I went on liver-shrinking diet early and the rascal is kicking,me today. I had been doing pretty fine until today and for some reason I feel weak and a little dizzy. Been drinking Water, like there is a Gold Star for it, don't think it's dehydration. Missed my piece of fruit but doubt that would matter so much. Just took my Vitamins, hope my body is getting good use of them, otherwise I have the most vitamin-enriched Stool of The . Century.
Hey if you need someone to talk to, you always can talk to me as well as +Neri, I'm a very good listener.
How many kids do you have. I know being a single mom you are worrying oodles about,them and how you're all gonna get along and,then that boyfriend ditched,on you too. Sad he couldn't, Be more supportive but if he is that immature he wasn't good. how,you. You have,kids to raise--' you should not be expected to raise him also.
It's getting close to my bedtime, at 72, I should be sleeping, more than I am but I go over the day in my mind, wonder,if I could,have done better. Tell,me about your prediet and I'll be happy to tell you about mine. At 7 days in I can almost recite it from memory.
Yours 😝🌻😝Frustr8

[macadamia 591]

There are a lot more men out there who would welcome a relationship with someone who is taking control of their life and their health. I know one of them very personally, in fact...

As Frustr8 said, there are a couple of threads that have been started for September surgeries, my date is September 6, 2018. I'm currently on the four-week pre-op diet, very similar to what you posted. I have an enlarged (but otherwise healthy) liver that the surgeon wants to make as small as possible. I'm limited to 800 calories/day, low fat, low carb, and high Protein, and greater than 64oz of Water a day (I'm averaging more than 90oz/day). I've cut out all added sugar, caffeine, alcohol, starchy veggies, fried foods, most restaurant food, bread (almost - I have two slices left, then no more), Pasta, and carbonated beverages. I'm down 30.5 pounds since June 29, 2018.

I do not feel hungry during the day but sometimes before bed or first thing in the morning, I get hungry. What I am struggling with now is "head hunger." Every evening when I drive home from work, I see all the places I used to stop and eat and my head wants me to stop again. So far, I've not stopped, but it is a challenge. My therapist suggested that I phone someone when I feel like I'm going to stop and get something to eat, so I call my mom often...

I, too, am available to listen if you need an ear to vent to. Good luck! and we're all here for you!

Edited August 8, 2018 by macadamia

[TakingABreak 2,733]

On ‎08‎/‎07‎/‎2018 at 3:12 PM, ashleyrocx88 said:

Been a while since I posted on here, I guess a lot is going on in my life and I needed a safe place to vent about my life and not feel like I am being judged. I have dealt with being overweight my entire life. It’s not something I wanted but it happened, it happened because I grew up uneducated about being healthy. At this moment I am looking at a September 17, 2018 surgery date for gastric bypass. Am I scared? Hell ya I am!

In the past week I have lost my boyfriend, he just gave up on me, not an explanation, not a reason. This has been slowly happening for the last few weeks, I believe this surgery drew a line he could not commit to. Am I okay? I am sad, hurt, but I am okay, I am okay because here in a few months he won’t matter. He was 23 years old and this shows his true colors. I can’t have someone in my life or around my kids who can’t be supportive and help me through this. This definitely has taken a toll on me the last few days. But I’m a it happened now rather then later.

My doctor requires four weeks of liquids. Three shake, one for each meal and then Clear Liquids in between, no sugar, coffee ect. I started weening myself onto this on Sunday. I felt if I didn’t train myself I would not being to do it.

I feel like I am a mess… I am a single mother, and I kinda feel alone. My family is very supportive.

But I feel alone. I do miss having someone to talk to and comfort me. I also fear I will never find love which I know seems a bit crazy. Really could use some motivation.

First of all! You are incredibly strong to be doing this as a single mother.

Secondly,
It's best that your boyfriend left now, rather than later. Because things get even harder. This is not an easy journey. It may be rewarding, but not easy.

You will find love, but you need to come first over the next year. Commit to yourself like you would a new relationship. I find myself being very selfish with my time and my feelings through my journey. I don't let people sway me from making bad choices just to "fit in". I make healthy eating and exercising a priority in my daily life. Mostly everything takes a back seat until I've accomplished those things. In fact one of my top pieces of advice to newbies is:

• You need to make time for you! Make the time to shop healthy, meal prep, cook healthy, and plan ahead. And I’m talking to all the selfless mothers, fathers, husbands, and wives. We give so much to our families, but NOW is the time to focus on ourselves. We are doing it for them, after all. We are doing it to prolong our lives and improve the quality of our lives.

Back to the love part. Once you have learned to love the new you... you will hopefully find someone that loves all the newly found joys you will discover and who will appreciate your body that you worked so hard for. I've changed A LOT in the last 7 months. I am more confident, I'm no longer a push over, I'm more outgoing, more spontaneous, ect. I'm lucky that my husband still loves the new me. But I'd like to think after surgery is the PERFECT time to explore the dating world. Find someone who loves the new you. Because you will be different.

Good luck with surgery and love. I'm rooting for you!

[Shoelace 63]

I agree with all of the above and I love the expression "this too will pass" ! Doesn't take the pain away right now, but it will go and new and exciting times are just around the corner! It would be nice to have someone there to help but if they can't be, then you're better off focusing on you and your children and that's probably going to be all you'll be able to handle for a while until you find the "new" you! Then look out! Scary but exciting times ahead! Best of luck!