Hi! I made my first appointment a few weeks ago with a surgeon, and it is about a week away. I have started this process before, about a year ago, and didn't like the surgeon (I didn't feel supported by the practice). I found someone who I feel like is a better match.

I guess my question is how do you over come the fear? I'm not afraid of the surgery, but what if it doesn't work? What if I regret this choice?

I understand that this is a huge change, but at this point, I need to make a big change in my life because 15 years of dieting hasn't worked.

Has anyone else felt this way?

Just now, Hrose said:

Hi! I made my first appointment a few weeks ago with a surgeon, and it is about a week away. I have started this process before, about a year ago, and didn't like the surgeon (I didn't feel supported by the practice). I found someone who I feel like is a better match.

I guess my question is how do you over come the fear? I'm not afraid of the surgery, but what if it doesn't work? What if I regret this choice?

I understand that this is a huge change, but at this point, I need to make a big change in my life because 15 years of dieting hasn't worked.

Has anyone else felt this way?

Well what if you trip and fall down stairs. Or get into a car accident. Or die from some crazy rare flesh eating bacteria... or what if you have a heart attack from being overweight? or what if you need your knees replaced because you've been overweight too long. Or what if, what if, what if?

Fear is a natural reaction to the unknown. You get over it, by facing it. You didn't state which surgery, but, the mortality statistics are still being skewed by old data. The procedures have greatly improved and mortality rate is WAY down. Enough where, the mortality rate of being overweight vs the mortality rate of the surgery... unchecked weight has a higher mortality rate at this point.

The surgery forces you to make drastic changes. Those changes do cause some emotional issues, at least while you are in the middle of the whole transition. They do suck. They do happen to most folks. But, for the most part, they go away. As long as you follow your instructions, and do what you are supposed to, and don't cause any injuries to yourself. The fear, emotional trauma, the indecision and doubt... they go away.

So don't worry about being afraid. Just remember WHY you decided to do this. Always remember how much you hate being overweight. Use that to push through whatever fear or doubt you have.

Big changes require big changes.

Thanks Matt. I think I just needed to hear it from someone else. I am thinking that part of it is that the previous person I started with made me feel like a number, not a patient who had concerns. So, I think that I am taking that feeling into this appointment.

Hi HRose! I did the same thing, I started the process with one practice and made it almost all the way through the process before realizing I was just another number. When a problem came up with my insurance they weren't there to help, they didn't need to since there were hundreds in line behind me! I took a step back and even told myself maybe I should give diet and exercise another try. I did for a few months and realized I was kidding myself. I found a great doctor (smaller practice) who I felt was a better match.

Fear is normal, after all you are having surgery but like MattZ said above there are so many more risks with being obese and not having the surgery. Not to mention everyday risks like getting in our car! The surgery will work if you commit to the program and make the needed changes. You already know it isn't a magic pill but it is the best tool out there to get you to goal and allow you to make lifestyle changes.

I'm sure you have read it before but I'm going to say it again, my only regret is not having the surgery earlier (with my preferred doctor!)

Good luck and let us know how things go! You got this!

Fear in this process is normal. But Matt is right, don't let your fear outweigh the interest to go forward with surgery. There are so many more risks to being overweight, than there are for any type of weight loss surgery. The fear of it not working is valid, but trust that all the bad outcomes I've seen, have been because the person wasn't willing to change, not because the surgery didn't work.

My only regret is that I didn't do this 10 years ago. Good luck!

Thanks! I agree, being obese does have a lot more risks. I just feel stuck in this body.
I have a 2 year old, and not being able to do things with him because I'm tired, slow, or can't fit is really depressing. I guess I am not doing it for just me, it's for him too. He deserves a mom who can do things with him. I didn't have that. My mom couldn't do things with me because of her weight and co moralities. I dont want that for him

2 minutes ago, AshAsh1 said:

Fear in this process is normal. But Matt is right, don't let your fear outweigh the interest to go forward with surgery. There are so many more risks to being overweight, than there are for any type of weight loss surgery. The fear of it not working is valid, but trust that all the bad outcomes I've seen, have been because the person wasn't willing to change, not because the surgery didn't work.

My only regret is that I didn't do this 10 years ago. Good luck!

Thanks AshAsh1. That is true. This is a tool, not a fix all.

I think that anyone who says they weren't scared at some point heading up to WLS is lying either to you or themselves. Surgery is scary - and I'm a doctor, so I would know! But that's an emotional reaction, normal though it may be. It's the rational part of our minds - the part that knows that a lifetime of failed attempts at dieting, of yoyo-ing, means that if you're going to change, a major fix is needed - it's the rational mind you should listen to. All any of us can do is make the best choices for our long-term health!

Well RHode I am proud of you for you doing this for him and yourself. Overweight isn't great, Obesity is even worse because because of all the health problems it can cause. Little guy is goi,g to,have a strong, healthy, fun to be with play-partner soon. Thank You for loving him enough to do this÷?&?forever!