Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Trying to find love while on weight loss journey



Recommended Posts

*Posted this in a different forum before I saw this one, oops*

Hey everyone! Hope you guys are all doing well with your weight loss journeys! So I began mine this February to get the sleeve, July will be the last of 6 months of doctor visits- per insurance, then I’ll FINALLY be able to schedule surgery. I CAN’T WAIT! I’m also turning 29 this October and have decided that I would like to put myself back on the dating market after taking a break from all that. I’m obviously going to be meeting guys that are going to be attracted to the way I look now, but what happens when my look changes?

My question is, how do you guys approach telling someone about your surgery? Do I tell everyone I go on more than 1 date with? Do I wait until after surgery to tell someone? If I’m just casually seeing someone around the time I’m scheduled for surgery should I end it and resume afterwards?

Dating already sucks so much for everyone, but I feel like this is just an added layer of awkwardness. Are there any other young adults currently on the dating market who are either pre or post op? How did you/are you handling the whole surgery topic?

-Awkward AF from Michigan 🙋🏻‍♀️-

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Girl... when your look changes it changed. If the guy is with you he should be cool what whatever you look like. He should love you for you not for what you look like. I think that telling someone that you aren’t completely sure of is not the move. If I’m telling someone about my surgery I’m going to at least make sure they actually mean something to me. I wouldn’t tell anyone on a first or second date. There’s so many other topics to explore on those dates. Girllll you better stop it. How would that look to end a a relationship just to have surgery and then try to pick it back up. No girl. What if he moves on? If you’re still with him after a few good healthy weeks of dating and you feel like you can be vulnerable around him without judgement then tell him. Hopefully he will be supportive and at that point in your relationship he should only want the best for you.

As for me in pre-op and I’m single. If meet someone I don’t plan on sharing what I’m doing immediately. I don’t know that I can trust the person. I just take it one day at a time and go with the flow. Don’t over think it. And don’t think it’s awkward because if you think this was it reallllllly becomes awkward. You’re a normal person who is just living a normal life. Things happen, events happen, life changes, nothings wrong with that. So If I’m seeing someone before I get surgery I’ll see how comfortable I feel with that person and if he has in fact earned my trust. I’ll tell him. Girl.. don’t over think this. Just chill. 😉

I’m also not re reading what I wrote. Sorry if there are mistakes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Girl... when your look changes it changed. If the guy is with you he should be cool what whatever you look like. He should love you for you not for what you look like. I think that telling someone that you aren’t completely sure of is not the move. If I’m telling someone about my surgery I’m going to at least make sure they actually mean something to me. I wouldn’t tell anyone on a first or second date. There’s so many other topics to explore on those dates. Girllll you better stop it. How would that look to end a a relationship just to have surgery and then try to pick it back up. No girl. What if he moves on? If you’re still with him after a few good healthy weeks of dating and you feel like you can be vulnerable around him without judgement then tell him. Hopefully he will be supportive and at that point in your relationship he should only want the best for you.
As for me in pre-op and I’m single. If meet someone I don’t plan on sharing what I’m doing immediately. I don’t know that I can trust the person. I just take it one day at a time and go with the flow. Don’t over think it. And don’t think it’s awkward because if you think this was it reallllllly becomes awkward. You’re a normal person who is just living a normal life. Things happen, events happen, life changes, nothings wrong with that. So If I’m seeing someone before I get surgery I’ll see how comfortable I feel with that person and if he has in fact earned my trust. I’ll tell him. Girl.. don’t over think this. Just chill. [emoji6]
I’m also not re reading what I wrote. Sorry if there are mistakes.
Your right, can't tell everyone everything, even friends and family, at least until u feel they earn your trust

Sent from my SM-N950F using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And how is the Journey to Live doing? Any happy updates as yet? Remember to be true to you, you have undertaken a trek few start at let alone finish, you are a fine good-looking lady ,so don't settle for pond scum,or bottom feeders,in the search, you deserve the best so never settle for less!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recent Topics

  • Most popular:

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Krestel

      Me: Hey Siri, Is it raining outside? (for my morning walks with the dogs)
      Siri: I don't think it's raining at the moment.
      Wet Dogs: Then why are we wet? This damn Siri person is more stupid than we are.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Billy Bob  »  lvidacovich

      Drink Muscle Milk. lol  Gt 60 to 90 gm quality Protein & daily vitimins, good sleep, walking & resistant ( weight /bands/squats ) You absolutely build muscle. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • SabrinaGoddess

      I received my nutrition book and checklist today! I am so very excited (and a tad bit scared too) Each day this is becoming a reality!
      I created a new blog post about how BRAVE we all are for doing this. Because I think we are! Most of us know the horrors of people calling us nasty names, saying we can't control ourselves, we are easy targets for people's verbal attacks! But I feel we are BRAVE because we are taking control over our lives and creating a new world of happiness.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • SabrinaGoddess

      Today I scheduled my mental evaluation and my nutritionist appointments. Yes, we are moving along quiet nice.  December 9th will be here before you know it.
      I have informed my inner circle of family about the surgery and I will be keeping it in my CORE!

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • drac2you

      Well, it has been a while since I posted here, but my journey continues. As for breaking my stall, I was able to get down to 214 with the help of a friend via our Fitbit fitness trackers which has made me ecstatic! Since that has happened I was fortunate enough to have my insurance company approve a panniculectomy to remove the panniculus (THIS is the correct term, NOT pannus, see this reference: https://www.merriam-webster.com/medical/panniculus) that has been deviling me for years, even before I had bariatric surgery. It was to the point that it was hanging down far enough to cover my pubic area, covered half my thighs when I would sit, and also drooped between my legs which I could hardly manage to keep together when sitting. For any males that may read this, for a woman that is pretty uncivilized, not to mention, unladylike especially when wearing a dress or skirt - just looks slovenly to say the least. Despite the numerous skin issues I had the last couple of years, my health insurance insisted the procedure was cosmetic... 🤐 . I would guess no one that is saying so has been in the bariatric patient's shoes. The damn thing was just getting to be a self-esteem killer in addition to a medical nuisance requiring many visits to my primary care physician, and interfering with my mobility. Now, I realize there are folks with more egregious panniculus sag issues, but the fact that it interferes with mobility is an important consideration.
      One thing I have to say is that this surgery is drastically different from any other I've had. Things occur that are deemed routine, expected even, after a panniculectomy that would be downright unacceptable after any other procedure. This plastic surgery experience is definitely a learning experience that is still unfolding as I key this entry. For one thing, the swelling is a story all it's own, I had no clue my abdomen could get so large, so quickly, without causing my skin to just split open - it's crazy! So far, I'm pleased to have been able to get this procedure despite may be perceived as drawbacks, just to get the pendulous adipose tissue demon off of my person. Here are a few links to information about this procedure for anyone considering it in the future:
      https://www.yourbariatricsurgeryguide.com/panniculectomy/ https://www.healthline.com/health/panniculectomy https://www.yourplasticsurgeryguide.com/tummy-tuck/panniculectomy/ https://www.plasticsurgery.org/reconstructive-procedures/panniculectomy/safety https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK499822/ I hope you find this information helpful. I will provide updates periodically on my progress of this surgical recovery. Have a wonderful day! 
      · 2 replies
      1. Panda333

        Thank you and good luck to you!

      2. SabrinaGoddess

        WOW, thank you for sharing all this with us!

  • Trending Topics

  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs
    ×