judgemental people......

[jacole1820 0]

i hate it when i mention my decision to undergo weight loss surgery and people make that face and go "ooooohh". like i said i have some airborne disease or something. why are people so against it? we are njot doing it because we enjoy being fat, its just we need help to get healthy, right! i know thats my reason. im 24 and i don't wanna loive the next 24 huge! gggrrrr.....sorry about the rant. im ok now!

[steph_co 9]

I dread that face. Hence the reason I have not told anybody except my DH. LOL I can't stand when people who have not themselves BTDT pass judgment on some choice I make. I'd rather let the results speak for themselves and let people wonder.

[Lorsbander 1]

I have found that the ones who are judgmental are really the ones who are jealous. That's fine, let them be that way! You'll have your day! Believe me, I am down 51 pounds! I am having my day everyday now!

[nina874 48]

I know what you mean, and the slimmer people are the more likely they are to start talking about diet and exercise!!!

Here in the UK weightloss surgery is not common at all, so I get comments like 'well you arent REALLY fat what are you risking an operation for?' Ummm let me think so that I dont get even fatter and then make the whole op more risky and have evn more to lose' DUH!!!!

Just ignore them you will have the last laugh!

Nina x

[TulipStar 2]

I hate the reaction too, and that is why I decided not to tell anyone. People have these ideas in their head and they think that just bc they have never had a weight problem, you shouldn't either and it is just your willpower. Screw 'em!!!

[GayleTX 1]

I know what you mean. I saw a group of people last week that I hadn't seen since before surgery but they were aware of my surgery.....they were nice about noticing my weight loss but the main comments I got were things like, "Oh, you poor thing....I know this has been hard on you" and pitying expressions on their faces, etc etc. No, being fat was what was hard on me.....this surgery and the new lifestyle has been wonderful!! :clap2:

[kacee 3]

I used to get the old "Ooooooo are you sure you want to do THAT?" and I would say with a HUGE smile on my face (completely ignoring their "shock") and say, "OH heavens YES! It's the best decision I've ever made in my life!" I always watched their faces visibly soften when they saw my enthusiasm. And now...whenever I tell someone...they SEE the results and they go "Wow, whatever WORKS for you! That's great!" I don't let it bother me AT ALL!!!!!

[Daisalana 33]

I haven't had this reaction, and I tell anyone interested.

I know a friend from HS who had RNY, and when she told me I just wanted all the info she could tell me. She looked great and I wanted to do that, hah.

[lindata 1]

I try not to tell anybody for exactly this reason but I've had a few opinions that I didn't ask for - one at the HOSPITAL in administration if you can believe it - the lady talked on and on about someone she knew who had it done. And when I was in the hospital overnight from surgery, the lady next to me said, "Why did you get that done? You don't look like you need it." I didn't tell her - she overheard me and the doc. Like, why do people think they need to comment? I'm like Nina - I wanted to nip this thing in the bud before I reached 300, 400, 500 pounds. I was so on the road to being there and then it would have been that much harder.

[barbaratoo 0]

dont you just love seeing the real person ,insted of saying thats great ,they are so scared your gona lose more weight then them.or they have all kinds of reasons for you not to get it ,or better yet they know someone that got the surgery and this went wrong or that went wrong .if you dont wanta be like them and say iam gona be smaller then you or i let you borrow the clothersthat i wont be wearing any more,

just keep it to your self and tell them your on a diet.

or you didnt think you were loseing any weight .haha have fun and good luck.

[MizPeppy 3]

I always ask them how much research they have done in obesity and what journals they are quoting.

[kagoscuba 0]

the nutritionist at my gym and why I rated one part of my hospital stay so poorly in their survey. The nutritonist started off by saying, "So when will you get this removed?" Then the a-hole continued with "My girlfriend is overweight and wanted to get surgery, but I told her I would leave her if she did." Nice. The part of the survey the hospital got dinged on was how professional their nurses were. When I was in recovery, one of the nurses asked me what surgery I had done; I told her and she said, "What? You don't look big enough for that surgery. Didn't you try exercise and dieting?" I felt like saying, "No, you stupid bit@h, I decided to self-pay $22k for $hits and giggles and have a fun time." I refrained however, used my passive aggressive side and eviscerated her on the survey...not that anybody reads those things anyway, but it made me feel better.

[coolcrystal 1]

I was perfectly fine with my obesity until I got over 240. The way my body is shaped, I looked about 180 at 240. But now I'm 285 and I'm in pain all the time.

Anyway, I've had almost the complete opposite response with my friends. I even wrote a huge blog on 360 where about 100 of my closest friends and family found out I was pursueing it and the excitement I had. Not one of them gave me a negative feedback, except one who had the bypass and gave me her horror story of all the complications; but a bypass and a lapband are two different things.

What bugs me the most is people who think the lapband is the bypass. It's not. My sister had a friend who died from the bypass so she was slightly concerned, but when I told her the difference she was very happy for me.

The ONE person who keeps flipping back and forth is my Mother in law. At first she was happy for me. Then three weeks later she was upset that I was getting it and said she has two friends who only lost 30 pounds and couldn't lose anymore. But, what I think is that she is obese too and we go out to eat a lot and she is scared she will lose her eating out buddy or something. I told her I have three friends who were 110% successful and she gawfed. So, now that's what I'm dealing with.

But, I'm so glad I have very supportive friends who haven't tried scaring me and this forum.

[ladybug3 0]

I know how you feel. Most of my family and friends have been supportive, but I decided not to tell my husband's family or his best friend, who is good friends with DH's sister. I'll tell them eventually, probably around Christmas, when I'll still be on mushies, but will have had some weight loss. I felt bad, because my inlaws themselves would be fine, but my DH's sister is a gossip and I just didn't want to deal with judgment from her or her husband (who has a history of saying inappropriate things) or her spreading rumors to the rest of that family. I was honest with my DH and he understood and was supportive. His folks have been very good about not asking questions or prying (they had two of my kids while I was in the hospital). I'm sure they'd like to know, and I will tell them, but I didn't want to hear horror stories, either!

[Kat817 19]

I know what you mean, and the slimmer people are the more likely they are to start talking about diet and exercise!!!

Nina x

I really think this comment holds true even with us bandsters. As you become slimmer, the actual act of exercising becomes easier, and we learn healthier eating habits as we go.

I used to cringe when I would read or be told yet again about the need to exercise. After about the first 50 pounds things really began getting jiggly, so I began exercising---it was not easy! I did not enjoy all of it. I DID however find things I DID like doing, and the feeling it left me with was so empowering! I finally felt like I was doing this weight loss--not just my band...I was doing it!

Now when I cannot exercise in one way or another I feel like I am missing something. I DO suggest exercise, but at least as much for the mental boost as the physical.

Actually exercising is not an issue for thin people, their joints don't always ache,etc. It took a lot for me to finally give it a shot--thank goodness I didn't stick my head in the sand any longer!!! I do not do the aggressive exercise that many do, I have several health issues, that prevent running, and high impact exercise, but I am still able to get my heart rate up, and my blood pumping, and it feels great!!

Most of my responses have been positive--now I am finally down enough weight that even the one "friend" who refuses to discuss it cannot miss it--makes me smile!!!

Kat