I hate it when people post just to post.....

[luluc 6]

Is this chick for real? We should steal the

J-E-S-U

From her Keyboard...

Annoyed

ha!!, cute!!

[Brandy~ 2]

ha!!, cute!!

I don't even remember the name of the thread that I was just reading but it had something to do with "New and angry"

I about died LOL'ing at you guys when talking to that PG chica.

[losingjusme 12]

she tells us that a former colleague of ours (who never takes his wife anywhere because he's embarrassed of her weight) was forcing his wife to have the lapband or get a divorce. i looked big eyed at DH, and just sorta dropped it.

first off - thanks for something to read :thumbup:

second of all ... that is simply appalling... i know of a quick way to lose 150+ pounds that way ... all it would take would be a signature...

Is this where the party is?

yup!!! WOOO HOOO!!!

I have a friend that is seriously in denial. If I were married to her, I'm not sure there would be any other way to get through to her other than threats.

But, there is a rare chance that it could be the only way to announce the wake up call that the wife needs.

this would have been me 3+ years ago... i was well past 400 lbs and miserable .. while i wouldnt want DH to threaten to leave me, i did wish he would have said something to me... i dunno what and to be honest, i dunno how i would have reacted, but i needed someone to say something... im just lucky i hired someone who had a band and could talk to her about it...

How do you approach the subject to someone that their weight is an issue? What if it is a big issue in the marriage? Is it divorce, or accept that your partner is overweight? Is there a medium ground?

exactly.. like i said i dont know HOW i would have reacted if DH brought up my weight, but now (130 lbs lighter) i say i wish he would have said something sooner...

Ceradad, I'll get the 800 number from pattygreen and put in a call - gotcha covered!

Brad

**snort**

Hehehe!

Gotta figure out some doozie answers for these typical stupid questions, like:

"Well, if the Water won't go down, try eating a double-double cheeseburger to force the opening a bit. Works every time." :scared2:

**snort** again

[Kat817 19]

I know what you are saying LJM, I see where sometimes a wake up call is needed....but how it comes would be a seriously touchy issue!!!

Personally, I would get the band if given the ultimatum.....as it would probably do just as I said, wake me up....but after the band was on, and paid for and the weight began going I would likely lose 100 lbs+ really quick courtesy of an attorney!!!

I say that....but not living in the situation, I have no idea how I would react.

My DH never ever said a word about my weight, and he said even being supportive of me being banded, felt like he was walking a tight rope of being accepting of me however, and also being supportive. He was afraid to encourage me-because if something fell through he did not want me thinking he was unhappy with me as I was.

DH had to have mitral valve surgery a few years ago, and if he were to KNOW he had those issues and still smoke (we quit close to 20 years ago)----I may be pushed to making threatening ultimatums!!!

Perhaps her health is an issue.

Now if he is playing for the other team, and using her weight to get him out of the relationship---I hope he gets what he deserves.....a very hot looking honey who is not well endowed who gains TONS of weight!!! Sorry! Was a visual I could not resist!!!

Gonna go fix dinner on that note!

Kat

[MacMadame 81]

I have friends who married thin, he gained weight and she's upset by it. How do you "fix" that as a married couple? When you're married, or in a relationship and you gain weight, it's not just you that's effected.

That's what counseling is for. You may be effected, but you can't control other people. Plus, you promised to love someone in sickness and in health and obesity is a disease.

My dh is obese. He was underweight when I met him. I was obese when we met (not quite MO, but close), lost weight for the wedding (not quite to normal weight, but close) and then went up and down the entire time we were married. He just went up. And up. And up.

It's really tempting to try to force him to be healthy and to lose weight now that I'm doing it. It's much more annoying that he won't do anything about it now that I'm doing something about it. But the problem is, in many ways, my problem. I've got WLS religion and he doesn't. Two years ago, I had much less issue with his weight and his weight hasn't changed (well, I think he's up another 5 lb., but still).

I've changed. Which makes it my problem, not his.

I just think this is just something we all have to do for ourselves and I don't think there is anything the other person could have said or done to make us see our own problems until we were ready to see. Once we are ready, then all it takes is a little nudge and anyone can give it. Before we are ready, the other person can shove with all their might and it won't move us.

[Kat817 19]

I agree that I married my DH for better or worse, and if he loses his hair, or gains weight, it should not affect how I feel about him.

wait for it.....here it comes.....

BUT......!

Almost all of us had a defining moment that we made the decision to look into WLS---whether it be something someone said, or a picture someone took unexpectedly----often times something pushed us over the edge and we made our way to the band.

There are entire threads created over what made you decide to be banded---and could be someone saying something to you, be it in ultimatum form or whatever, maybe that would be the impetus to getting it done. Like LJM---I wish someone had been able to help me SEE clearly enough to do it many pounds before I did.....

Would still chap my a$$ for my DH to even hint at a threat like that!!! LOL

Kat

[Gone4Now 4]

True...I keep thinking, "What could anyone have said to get me moving...?" and the answer is always a shrug and I dunno. I want something to be the magic answer, but you're right...it's nothing external.

I don't know this husband and wife's situation, but as for my friend I know I can just start taking a bunch of pictures of her. :scared2: I delete them at her request...but I'm thinking I'll start sending pics her way. "hey, look - it's us at the beach last summer!"

THAT'S better than any conk on the head or threat.

[Gracey 7]

OK I'll post this again so I got no response.

Poll: What is your favorite website (other than LBT)? I'm looking for other websites to surf on. Thx!

[losingjusme 12]

OK I'll post this again so I got no response.

Poll: What is your favorite website (other than LBT)? I'm looking for other websites to surf on. Thx!

sorry SnT - - i really dont surf much...

[miztrniceguy 1]

OK I'll post this again so I got no response.

Poll: What is your favorite website (other than LBT)? I'm looking for other websites to surf on. Thx!

my fav website is my wife's blog Moriah Jovan, Author: Religion. Money. Politics. Sex. All the things your mama told you not to talk about in public. :wink2:

[BethFromVA 5]

my fav website is my wife's blog Moriah Jovan, Author: Religion. Money. Politics. Sex. All the things your mama told you not to talk about in public. :Dancing_wub:

You seem like a really nice guy, so I don't wanna bust your chops, but can we ixnay on the promotions for your wife already? :wink2:

[miztrniceguy 1]

sorry...didn't mean to offend...just try to get the word out

and SnT did ask for others fav websites she wanted to visit

[losingjusme 12]

sorry...didn't mean to offend...just try to get the word out

and SnT did ask for others fav websites she wanted to visit

i think yer sig does that ... :wink2:

[She Smiles 2]

OK I'll post this again so I got no response.

Poll: What is your favorite website (other than LBT)? I'm looking for other websites to surf on. Thx!

Try this passive-aggressive (and just plain aggressive) notes ? no, your mother doesn’t work here

or

PostSecret

Edited January 20, 2009 by She Smiles

[She Smiles 2]

That's what counseling is for. You may be effected, but you can't control other people. Plus, you promised to love someone in sickness and in health and obesity is a disease.

My dh is obese. He was underweight when I met him. I was obese when we met (not quite MO, but close), lost weight for the wedding (not quite to normal weight, but close) and then went up and down the entire time we were married. He just went up. And up. And up.

It's really tempting to try to force him to be healthy and to lose weight now that I'm doing it. It's much more annoying that he won't do anything about it now that I'm doing something about it. But the problem is, in many ways, my problem. I've got WLS religion and he doesn't. Two years ago, I had much less issue with his weight and his weight hasn't changed (well, I think he's up another 5 lb., but still).

I've changed. Which makes it my problem, not his.

I just think this is just something we all have to do for ourselves and I don't think there is anything the other person could have said or done to make us see our own problems until we were ready to see. Once we are ready, then all it takes is a little nudge and anyone can give it. Before we are ready, the other person can shove with all their might and it won't move us.

Mac, I could have written this post about my husband and I! Sometimes he says that he feels like he has gained the 100 pounds I've lost. I don't push him at all. I KNOW how that feels. A person has to be ready to make the changes by themselves and for themselves. He's been making comments lately that he wants to start exercising and losing weight and its only when he mentions it that I engage in a conversation about it with him.

And all of that aside, I love and am attracted to my husband as much (if not more!) that I did when we first met irrespective of how much he weighs now or how much hair he has lost since then :wink2: