Hello,

I have surgery scheduled for March 12 and I’m thinking of backing out. I had dinner with my family last night and their all against the surgery. I think the only reason I’m scared is going under the knife...I’m not so much worried about the recovery and such just basic surgery. I know the doctors are trained professionals I just am getting anxious as the day nears... The main reason my family is against it is their worried the sleeve is irriversable and I may have complications. They believe that it’s for morbidly obese people and they claim that I’m not but in reality my bmi is over 45 and I’ve been obese my whole adult life. I know they love me but I want this for myself but their opinion matters a lot to me. This is probably too close to surgery but they said they would feel more comfortable if I did the band. Anyone ever do the lap band? I heard the success rate wasn’t as good? I’m probably wrong. Thank you

Hope your trip to Delaware will be smooth and fruitful, Mattymatt. Watch out for George Washington, with this crazy winter he might have his boat out again!

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Hello,
I have surgery scheduled for March 12 and I’m thinking of backing out. I had dinner with my family last night and their all against the surgery. I think the only reason I’m scared is going under the knife...I’m not so much worried about the recovery and such just basic surgery. I know the doctors are trained professionals I just am getting anxious as the day nears... The main reason my family is against it is their worried the sleeve is irriversable and I may have complications. They believe that it’s for morbidly obese people and they claim that I’m not but in reality my bmi is over 45 and I’ve been obese my whole adult life. I know they love me but I want this for myself but their opinion matters a lot to me. This is probably too close to surgery but they said they would feel more comfortable if I did the band. Anyone ever do the lap band? I heard the success rate wasn’t as good? I’m probably wrong. Thank you

The only opinions that should matter on this are yours and your surgeons. Having a BMI > 40 is extremely unhealthy, coming from someone with the same, and it is a necessity that you get your weight down. Get the surgery and ignore their comments. I'm not telling majority of my family for that exact reason.
Don't so the lap band. My cousin's band eroded her stomach and she was unable to eat. She had to get it removed and replaced by the sleeve. Most hospitals now don't do the band, or are phasing it out because it is proven to have a pretty poor success rate as in long term stability.

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Try and stay positive, you know in your gut that it’s what you want so don’t let your families anxiety pass on to you!

Also please feel free to remind me of this in 5wks when I’m in the same position

There's no way in heck I would get a lap band. My father-in-law had one that shifted and was causing him to repeatedly get hospitalized with pneumonia due to aspirating food. It took them forever to figure out what was causing it, and he has some damage from it. Eventually, he got it removed and had RNY. I also see a lot of things about revisions and problems with the band.

I had VSG, and I am doing great. Yes, it's scary to think about have 85% of your stomach permanently removed . . . but it's scarier to think about all of the problems associated with being obese.

After recovery, you just don't eat as much food, and you focus more on nutrition. You also feel better, so you're more physically active. It's pretty awesome, actually! You feel so much better.

You have to make this decision for yourself (regardless of what your family thinks). When they see the weight coming off and your health improving, they'll understand why you made the decision to have surgery!

My surgery is scheduled for early May and I'm also very scared. Like Sarahrosesb said, I'm not afraid of the work that needs to be done after the surgery. I've never been under the knife either, so I guess I'm afraid of surgery in general. And anesthesia. Plus I'm 65 and recently realized my cpap pressure wasn't enough and because of this I was diagnosed with high blood pressure and have had other cardiac symptoms . My guess is the pressure has been wrong for quite a while. I'm afraid that my now somewhat compromised cardiac system won't do well with the surgery. When I say cardiac symptoms, I'm talking irregular beats and I now have this new phenomenon where my heart will pound and race for 1 1/2-2 1/2 hours after I eat. It's very scary and you'd think I'd stop eating just because of this! Nope. LOL! I'm still hungry, so I eat!

It's also true that I'm very scared not to have the surgery. If I go on the way I have been, what's left of my future isn't bright. It seems inevitable that my health will get progressively worse. I think this is probably my only option to save and prolong my life as well as dramatically improve the quality of my life.

Quick story about my brother-in-law. At age 45 he also had BMI of 45. One night, almost 8 years ago, he got up to go to the bathroom and his knee gave out. Since he's had 4 surgeries on that knee and the 3 on the other knee. Because of inactivity and more time to eat he gained more weight, became diabetic and has been on dialysis 3 days a week for about 2 years. He's on the transplant list for a kidney and can barely walk with lots of pain. This is what CAN happen. Just something to think about.

Please get your surgery, has your doctor sent you to a cardiologist for clearance? Listen to what they say but I hope you'll still be able to have it. I'm here for you, you don't have to face all these things alone. Okay?

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I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. The one thing I would do absolutely before making a decision one way or the other is to talk to a therapist and do grief counseling. Talk to someone who specializes in bariatric patients. This is SUPER important! ((hugs))

Both of our advices are good, just different facets of what needs done. You do matter here, we all do. We are all traveling on this journey, sometimes we stumble, hopefully don't fall but we keep on keeping on until we reach the goal. Take our hand if you need to, here you are among friends.

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18 hours ago, Sarahrosesb said:

Hello,

I have surgery scheduled for March 12 and I’m thinking of backing out. I had dinner with my family last night and their all against the surgery. I think the only reason I’m scared is going under the knife...I’m not so much worried about the recovery and such just basic surgery. I know the doctors are trained professionals I just am getting anxious as the day nears... The main reason my family is against it is their worried the sleeve is irriversable and I may have complications. They believe that it’s for morbidly obese people and they claim that I’m not but in reality my bmi is over 45 and I’ve been obese my whole adult life. I know they love me but I want this for myself but their opinion matters a lot to me. This is probably too close to surgery but they said they would feel more comfortable if I did the band. Anyone ever do the lap band? I heard the success rate wasn’t as good? I’m probably wrong. Thank you

you are most definitely morbidly obese. I was much more afraid of my obesity killing me than a surgeon. my viewpoint was that if people who are 600lbs+ are surviving surgery, me with a mid 40's BMI should be smooth sailing.

I knew i was a heart attack waiting to happen.

Please ignore anyone suggesting a band. they categorically have no clue what they are talking about!!!!! Lapbands have horrendous complication rates... worse than the others put together. I could not roll my eyes any harder. the fact that that was suggested to you should automatically discount their opinions.

My band nearly killed me and caused permanent damage to my esophagus. my experience with it is very very very common. my doctor says any doctors using a band today should be sued for malpractice.

if you are looking for a procedure that is reversible if you need it...that is called a bypass.

Thanks for the suggestions and support. I put that story on here for Sarahrosesb because none of us ever think we'll be faced with something like that happening to us. We just don't know things like that are even a possibility. We know about diabetes, heart disease, joint problems. What happened to my brother in law was not a freak accident. It was an accident waiting to happen is what his doctor said. Sarahrosesb you need to weigh all the pros and cons and possibilities for your future.

Any change is hard; good or bad, change is hard for everyone. You wanting this surgery is probably bringing up all kinds of feeling with you family members that have nothing to do with you. Please see a counselor and take a family member or family members to see a counselor with you. While it's your body and your life blah blah blah, it is so much easier with a support system or at least one or two supportive family members!

I am still pre-op but I have had four abdominal surgeries (two open and two laparascopic) and I actually woke up during one of them (they ripped out my IV when transferring to recovery bed). I am not saying this to scare you at all but to reassure you that you will be OK! Waking up was my worst nightmare but I lived through it, I've lived through four surgeries without excessive trauma and I'm now going in for a 5th.

Try not to be scared, and if you can't help it, just sit with your scared thoughts a little bit and be gentle with yourself. Screw what your family says. You've made this choice for a good reason and you won't regret it, based on every single person I've talked to or heard from. YOU CAN DO IT! <3 <3 <3

On 3/7/2018 at 5:42 PM, Sarahrosesb said:

Hello,

I have surgery scheduled for March 12 and I’m thinking of backing out. I had dinner with my family last night and their all against the surgery. I think the only reason I’m scared is going under the knife...I’m not so much worried about the recovery and such just basic surgery. I know the doctors are trained professionals I just am getting anxious as the day nears... The main reason my family is against it is their worried the sleeve is irriversable and I may have complications. They believe that it’s for morbidly obese people and they claim that I’m not but in reality my bmi is over 45 and I’ve been obese my whole adult life. I know they love me but I want this for myself but their opinion matters a lot to me. This is probably too close to surgery but they said they would feel more comfortable if I did the band. Anyone ever do the lap band? I heard the success rate wasn’t as good? I’m probably wrong. Thank you

I was in the hospital with the IV in my arm backed out last second & had nothing but regret until I was rescheduled 8 months later. Big mistake not getting it done earlier. That’s what it takes sometimes to have our ADDICTION TO FOOD be realized. That’s just me. Hopefully you make the best decision for you. You back out & there’s no telling how long it will be before you get rescheduled & you may have to meet requirements again. Oh joy!

Please don't get a lapband, your family is undereducated on this subject, the two people I know are getting theirs out because of erosion.

You are morbidly obese, don't let fear be the reason to have this chance at a healthier life - yes this is major surgery but the technology now makes this easier than a gall bladder surgery - I am 62 and if I can do it so can you. I had the sleeve Oct 24th and i am doing great. You can do this, you need this.

My family has influenced my decisions since I was very young. They are pretty controlling. In my late 30s I began therapy because of my depression and realized I was afraid to make my own decisions because they were usually made for me. Since then I have become much more comfortable with who I am, taking my life in my own hands, and not letting them influence my decisions anymore. They mean well and we love each other. But I have my own beliefs and have had to learn that it's okay and they are just as valid as my family's beliefs. And regarding the surgery, I of course have a lot of the same sentiments as my family, so that gives you pause. But the one thing thing that kept me on that operating table was thinking about how I'd feel in 10 years. I'd be in more pain and regret not reclaiming my life earlier.