Holding Myself Accountable

[Fluffygirl45 8]

I hope this is an okay place to put this.

Tonight was my last support group meeting. All I have left is my psych eval on the 2nd and then time to schedule the surgery date pending approval. I've been doing well overall, lost 16 lbs between all 3 nutrition appointments even after Thanksgiving. (Worried about Christmas though.) I have lost a combined total of 42 lbs so far from my highest.

Anyway, today I didn't eat much, went to the meeting and afterwards I was starving. I went to a drive through...the first one I'd been to in 3 months and what did I do? I overate...BADLY. I was shoving food in like a maniac and still felt hungry after. I let myself overeat due to going into starvation mode, and I let an email I got affect me emotionally and I didn't even know it was until after eating all that mess and the guilt set in. Grrrrr!!!! So pissed at myself for doing this, esp after feeling a little off kilter with Christmas.

So, this is me making myself accountable...being honest and saying I screwed up...and I can't let myself screw up when I am this close. I think I am trying to sabotage myself because I am afraid of change...afraid of what life could be like when I am comfortable (maybe) where I am. It's okay to embrace this change...it's okay to take care of myself and let myself imagine a better future. I remember the time I was thin and in shape and able to do all sorts of things like ride a bike and run. I WANT to run again. I want to be more than I am. I am the only one who can change my life.

Okay....sigh. Vented...being honest...feel better. I screwed up and tomorrow is a new day:)

[Losebig 508]

Hang in there, I struggled some with the pre op diet as well. The good news is it seems easier post surgery, that extreme hunger feeling doesn't happen like before. A binge also isn't as bad because you just physically can't eat as much and shoving food in has immediate and painful consequences.

Great job being accountable, don't let a little slip become a big slide.

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

4 hours ago, Fluffygirl45 said:

I screwed up and tomorrow is a new day

Exactly.

Live and learn.

Make these type of negative events a memory rather than a future reality.

Your sleeve will help empower you to discipline yourself by giving you a chance to regain your self pride and your chance to be of a normal weight/body mass.

Best wishes.

[Fluffygirl45 8]

Thank you for commenting...I haven't been screwing up and being extra careful:)

[_Kate_ 2,224]

We all make mistakes so don’t beat yourself up. Love the attitude of 'tomorrow is a new day' …… so we’ll done and good for you!

[Fluffygirl45 8]

Thank you Kate and gl with your skin surgery:)

[glomom23 10]

I hope this is an okay place to put this.
Tonight was my last support group meeting. All I have left is my psych eval on the 2nd and then time to schedule the surgery date pending approval. I've been doing well overall, lost 16 lbs between all 3 nutrition appointments even after Thanksgiving. (Worried about Christmas though.) I have lost a combined total of 42 lbs so far from my highest.
Anyway, today I didn't eat much, went to the meeting and afterwards I was starving. I went to a drive through...the first one I'd been to in 3 months and what did I do? I overate...BADLY. I was shoving food in like a maniac and still felt hungry after. I let myself overeat due to going into starvation mode, and I let an email I got affect me emotionally and I didn't even know it was until after eating all that mess and the guilt set in. Grrrrr!!!! So pissed at myself for doing this, esp after feeling a little off kilter with Christmas.
So, this is me making myself accountable...being honest and saying I screwed up...and I can't let myself screw up when I am this close. I think I am trying to sabotage myself because I am afraid of change...afraid of what life could be like when I am comfortable (maybe) where I am. It's okay to embrace this change...it's okay to take care of myself and let myself imagine a better future. I remember the time I was thin and in shape and able to do all sorts of things like ride a bike and run. I WANT to run again. I want to be more than I am. I am the only one who can change my life.
Okay....sigh. Vented...being honest...feel better. I screwed up and tomorrow is a new day:)

After my final weigh in I went straight to Taco Bell cuz this Goddess was starving!

It’s ok!!!

Sending you warm hugs!!!

[Fluffygirl45 8]

Thank you glomom:) I've been getting myself back on track post holidays...did better at Thanksgiving than Christmas, but still better than I used to do:)

[_Kate_ 2,224]

15 hours ago, Fluffygirl45 said:

Thank you Kate and gl with your skin surgery:)

I had it January 2017 😄

[Sullie06 1,013]

We all have those moments of weakness but you have done the best thing by looking back and being accountable for your actions. The best thing we can do when we make a mistake is realize we did it and move forward with the knowledge of what triggered the behavior.

[Fluffygirl45 8]

Thank you!:)