Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

How did you guys handle having people eat around you with foods you love? My friends feel bad when they eat around me and me being so young I get really sad I’m not able to enjoy foods with them or be able to do what they are doing because I still have to take it easy. I feel very emotional and have been crying a lot not because I miss the food but I miss being able to eat with my friends. Any advice?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How did you guys handle having people eat around you with foods you love? My friends feel bad when they eat around me and me being so young I get really sad I’m not able to enjoy foods with them or be able to do what they are doing because I still have to take it easy. I feel very emotional and have been crying a lot not because I miss the food but I miss being able to eat with my friends. Any advice?


My advice to you is. : It's normal to feel a sense of loss .. Eating is a social task and you want to engage with others and enjoy with them.
I want to tell you that as time goes out. You may even choose not to eat with people. I'm 5 months out. And often sit in the canteen with my friends and I don't eat because there just isn't anything I want lol and eating so little I only eat what really tastes good. Honestly as time goes out you will feel your self changing. It's such a gradual process you may not even notice it till your sat at MacDonald's with your family .. you have an option to eat something small. But you just chose not to.. this happened to me. Those sad feelings are not nice but they ease with time.. well they did for me I can't speak for everyone. For now perhaps try to limit food situations if you can.

Sent from my Vivo 5R using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd also remember it's temporary.

Sure you won't be going out and eating like a slob anytime soon, but you'll be able to go out and eat again. Might be a little awkward barely eating anything but so what. Honestly when I was in my 20s the stuff my friends were eating from restaurants was awful **** anyway. Who can call Applebee's and the crap a typical young adult eats food anyway.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was sleeved 10/19 and I do get down about not being able to eat like I used to. But, I am also 35 pounds down so I just tell myself "look how far you have come" and it helps.... a little. It's funny because just last night we went to a restaurant after a family function and I did not order anything! I just ate off my my husband and kids' plates. I was shopping yesterday at the mall and for lunch I just made one round at the food court and picked up a sample from each place and was full. So there are perks. It is a little much to get used to though- it is a hard feeling to explain when you leave a restaurant and you are physically satisfied but mentally you feel like you missed out. It is getting better though! Hang in there:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You will be able to eat with your friends again in just a few short weeks.

I was very emotional after surgery. Normally, I am pretty even-keeled and logical, but post-surgery I was having meltdowns over the most inconsequential things.

From what I've read, this is quite common. Not only for VSG, but for all surgeries. Post-surgical depression is a real thing, too. It may help to do an internet search on the subject and realize that you're not alone and that it is not uncommon.

This, too, shall pass.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just give it time, you will be able to enjoy going out with your friends in time. At first I was very emotional because I felt very cut off socially and I started avoiding going out with friends. When I finally did I realized there company was the most important part of our "date nights" I was craving human interaction.

I can now eat whatever I want in moderation and going out to eat feels completely normal. None of my friends even realize how little I eat and some of them eat about the same amount as me so I actually feel more normal now than I did when I was 300 pounds and eating huge portion and dessert.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

#1 - absolutely allow yourself to feel that sense of loss. You need to deal with it, get to a place of acceptance. So it's totally OK to feel that way.

#2 - you need to create a list of all the things you CAN do now and that you will be able to do. For me my list looks a little like this:

  1. Don't need seat belt extender on an airplane anymore
  2. Can ride a rollercoaster with ease
  3. can walk past a mirror or window and like/love what I see
  4. Can shop at the mall in a regular store
  5. I can buy that novelty T-shirt all my friends have as well
  6. I can run, jump, leap, move with ease and joy
  7. I hug so many of my friends and loved ones now because I am not embarrassed by my body
  8. I say YES to many social activities now. I used to say no all the time cause of I was mortified of my own body
  9. I can ice skate now. and ski, an rollerskate, all the activities I was way too big for before
  10. I can wrap my hands around my own wrist and have extra room
  11. I wear a size 10 about to be a size 8
  12. I look f**king fabulous in tight jeans, a cute tight top and sandals

You might not be able to eat that stuffed potato skin, you might not be able to eat all those chips and dips with your friends, but you know what you can do with them? EVERYTHING ELSE. :D

You are amazing, you are so strong and courageous to do this. It is TOTALLY normal to feel sad and left out, but please remember that this is a trade off, you are giving up one thing you love, food, for ALL the other things that will help you build an amazing, wonderful and FREE life. Free from all the pains and sorrows a life being overweight brings. You are too young to know this but many of us wasted entire lives waiting to be this free, you have a gift in front of you, it's hard to fully appreciate it at the beginning. You are gonna do wonderful, Little One, just absolutely wonderfully.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Onedayatatime365

      Looking to connect with others who are also on the journey of better health. Post-Op Gastric Sleeve (4/11/24).
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • jparadigm

      Happy Wednesday!
       
      I hope everyone is having a lovely week so far! 
      It's been a bit of a struggle this last week...I'm hungry ALL the time.
      · 1 reply
      1. BlondePatriotInCDA

        Have a great Wednesday too! Sorry you're hungry all the time, I'm pretty much the same..and I'm sick of eating the same food all the time.

    • ChunkCat

      Well, tomorrow I go in for an impromptu hiatal hernia repair after ending up in the ER over the weekend because I couldn't get food down and water was moving at a trickle... I've been having these symptoms on and off for a few weeks but Sunday was the worst by far and came with chest pain and trouble breathing. The ER PA thinks it is just esophagitis and that the surgeon and radiologist are wrong. But the bariatric surgeon swears it is a hernia, possibly a sliding one based on my symptoms. So he fit me into his schedule this week to repair it! I hope he's right and this sorts it out. He's going to do a scope afterwards to be sure there is nothing wrong with the esophagus. Here's hoping it all goes well!!
      · 4 replies
      1. AmberFL

        omgsh!! Hope all goes well!! Keeping you in my thoughts!

      2. gracesmommy2

        Hope you’re doing well!

      3. NickelChip

        I hope it goes well! Sending positive thoughts for a speedy recovery!

      4. AmberFL

        How are you doing? any update?!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×