How did you guys handle having people eat around you with foods you love? My friends feel bad when they eat around me and me being so young I get really sad I’m not able to enjoy foods with them or be able to do what they are doing because I still have to take it easy. I feel very emotional and have been crying a lot not because I miss the food but I miss being able to eat with my friends. Any advice?

How did you guys handle having people eat around you with foods you love? My friends feel bad when they eat around me and me being so young I get really sad I’m not able to enjoy foods with them or be able to do what they are doing because I still have to take it easy. I feel very emotional and have been crying a lot not because I miss the food but I miss being able to eat with my friends. Any advice?

My advice to you is. : It's normal to feel a sense of loss .. Eating is a social task and you want to engage with others and enjoy with them.
I want to tell you that as time goes out. You may even choose not to eat with people. I'm 5 months out. And often sit in the canteen with my friends and I don't eat because there just isn't anything I want lol and eating so little I only eat what really tastes good. Honestly as time goes out you will feel your self changing. It's such a gradual process you may not even notice it till your sat at MacDonald's with your family .. you have an option to eat something small. But you just chose not to.. this happened to me. Those sad feelings are not nice but they ease with time.. well they did for me I can't speak for everyone. For now perhaps try to limit food situations if you can.

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I'd also remember it's temporary.

Sure you won't be going out and eating like a slob anytime soon, but you'll be able to go out and eat again. Might be a little awkward barely eating anything but so what. Honestly when I was in my 20s the stuff my friends were eating from restaurants was awful **** anyway. Who can call Applebee's and the crap a typical young adult eats food anyway.

I was sleeved 10/19 and I do get down about not being able to eat like I used to. But, I am also 35 pounds down so I just tell myself "look how far you have come" and it helps.... a little. It's funny because just last night we went to a restaurant after a family function and I did not order anything! I just ate off my my husband and kids' plates. I was shopping yesterday at the mall and for lunch I just made one round at the food court and picked up a sample from each place and was full. So there are perks. It is a little much to get used to though- it is a hard feeling to explain when you leave a restaurant and you are physically satisfied but mentally you feel like you missed out. It is getting better though! Hang in there:)

You will be able to eat with your friends again in just a few short weeks.

I was very emotional after surgery. Normally, I am pretty even-keeled and logical, but post-surgery I was having meltdowns over the most inconsequential things.

From what I've read, this is quite common. Not only for VSG, but for all surgeries. Post-surgical depression is a real thing, too. It may help to do an internet search on the subject and realize that you're not alone and that it is not uncommon.

This, too, shall pass.

Just give it time, you will be able to enjoy going out with your friends in time. At first I was very emotional because I felt very cut off socially and I started avoiding going out with friends. When I finally did I realized there company was the most important part of our "date nights" I was craving human interaction.

I can now eat whatever I want in moderation and going out to eat feels completely normal. None of my friends even realize how little I eat and some of them eat about the same amount as me so I actually feel more normal now than I did when I was 300 pounds and eating huge portion and dessert.

#1 - absolutely allow yourself to feel that sense of loss. You need to deal with it, get to a place of acceptance. So it's totally OK to feel that way.

#2 - you need to create a list of all the things you CAN do now and that you will be able to do. For me my list looks a little like this:

1. Don't need seat belt extender on an airplane anymore
2. Can ride a rollercoaster with ease
3. can walk past a mirror or window and like/love what I see
4. Can shop at the mall in a regular store
5. I can buy that novelty T-shirt all my friends have as well
6. I can run, jump, leap, move with ease and joy
7. I hug so many of my friends and loved ones now because I am not embarrassed by my body
8. I say YES to many social activities now. I used to say no all the time cause of I was mortified of my own body
9. I can ice skate now. and ski, an rollerskate, all the activities I was way too big for before
10. I can wrap my hands around my own wrist and have extra room
11. I wear a size 10 about to be a size 8
12. I look f**king fabulous in tight jeans, a cute tight top and sandals

You might not be able to eat that stuffed potato skin, you might not be able to eat all those chips and dips with your friends, but you know what you can do with them? EVERYTHING ELSE.

You are amazing, you are so strong and courageous to do this. It is TOTALLY normal to feel sad and left out, but please remember that this is a trade off, you are giving up one thing you love, food, for ALL the other things that will help you build an amazing, wonderful and FREE life. Free from all the pains and sorrows a life being overweight brings. You are too young to know this but many of us wasted entire lives waiting to be this free, you have a gift in front of you, it's hard to fully appreciate it at the beginning. You are gonna do wonderful, Little One, just absolutely wonderfully.