Friend's partner depressed

[Numbheart 108]

John has been out of surgery for three weeks now but he's never gotten out of his depression. He feels that he has not made any progress, only that he's been more depressed than ever. Have you or someone you know experienced this?

[Berry78 4,259]

Postop depression is common. The lifestyle change, surgical recovery, restricted calories, plus loss of food as a source of sport or comfort is a veritable firestorm.

He should discuss how he is feeling with his doctor and counselor.

[FluffyChix 17,410]

Also, messing with the guts can cause a disruption of neurotransmitters that affects our mood! Make him get moving, get in sunshine when possible and also watch comedies! Laughter releases endorphins (happy hormones)! And follow @Berry78's great advice!

[James Marusek 5,244]

After surgery it took around 6 months before I reached a happy state, when all the problems seemed to melt away. Each day gets better but it does not happen overnight.

Also beware that as fat cells dissolve away, they release chemicals and hormones that are store there. The release of these hormones can produce an emotional flush. So remember that fluids are used by your body to flush away these hormones and chemicals, so meeting the daily Fluid requirements is important.

[Numbheart 108]

Really? Six months? He has a long way to go then, but he'll survive it, just as you did.

Thank you for your inspiring suggestions. I will relay these to him. And yes, I'll definitely encourage him to visit his doctor. He's been having talk therapy sessions through Better Help and he thinks they've been helping him get better.

That emotional flush, we will be anticipating and hopefully, he'll be stronger and wiser to be able to overcome all this - because it's all for him and his family. Please continue to drop in your experiences and advice and I'd be glad to relay it to him. Thank you all again.

[kriscross 4]

It is important to manage post-surgery depression like seeing your doctor for necessary medication, going outside from time to time to change the scenery and a fresh air and the most important is staying positive and encouraging them.

[Frustr8 7,886]

@ Numbheart,I hope your friend has reached a more peaceful stage in his weight loss journey. Depression takes the joy out of so much.😟🙏😝

[Matt Z 4,138]

On 11/7/2017 at 6:36 AM, Numbheart said:

John has been out of surgery for three weeks now but he's never gotten out of his depression. He feels that he has not made any progress, only that he's been more depressed than ever. Have you or someone you know experienced this?

Right there with your friend! I'm a little over 2 months out now, and, I too had some crazy depression. Both before and after, I always kept it to myself. The best thing I did was to start focusing on what I could do, rather than what I couldn't. Progress isn't always easy the first few weeks. Between the swelling, medication, and your body trying to figure out what the new normal is, it's very easy to miss positive things.

If your friend has a scale and doesn't have a body fat tracking option, let them know that, weight is just 1 part of the whole puzzle. Try to pay attention to the small things you take for granted. IE, I went to the movies with my wife about 3-4 weeks out. It was raining so I jumped over a puddle without thinking the way I would typically do and I was shocked when I landed farther away from where I anticipated. I overshot a damn puddle because I applied the same amount of force to my jump that I would have when I was heavier and the result was quite a surprise to me.

This whole process takes time. It's a long distance trek. I know it can be frustrating not knowing how long, it's like reading a book and not knowing how many pages there are, you never have any idea where you are in the overall scope of things.... until you get there.

As long as your friend is hitting the metrics set forth by the doctors (water intake, Protein intake, calorie total if they are tracking that) then they are going to be just fine, just as long as they keep it up. One step at a time, One day at a time.

I've found happiness at the Gym. I feel SO much better after a good workout. It's to the point now where I can't wait to just get through my work day so I can go to the gym, burn some fat and build some muscle!

Edited May 23, 2018 by Matt Z

[Frustr8 7,886]

So glad you had your bullfrog 🐸 moment, it's the little things like that give the rest hope on a gloomy day. We all have them, as a depressive myself trying to make her way back, we have more than our share. But that hopeful glimmer lights our way out. I will make me way out and I pray Numbheart's friend will also😓. Sometimes time can cure a lot.

[Numbheart 108]

depress is really a hard thing to deal with