I'm not telling my family that I am having surgery, is anyone else here doing the same ?

I kept it quiet for a while, but it's a bit difficult when you eat together. Anyways, they were all super supportive. To my face, at least.

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I respect all the decisions made to each unique situation!!! I am fortunate to have awesome support from family and friends. I think I shared because it will make me accountable. [emoji4]


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I'm did not tell alot of people friends or family. Did not want the unwanted advice.

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Is your family not supportive? For me, I need there support. What about holidays? They will know sooner rather than later.

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If you tell them AFTERWARDS they can't try to talk you out of anything.

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8 minutes ago, PollyWannaCracker? said:

If you tell them AFTERWARDS they can't try to talk you out of anything.

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That is exactly what I'm doing. Only a handful of people know ahead of time.

This may sound weird but I'm really glad that I'm not the only one who will not be telling my family. I was starting to feel a bit guilty about it. My kids have talked me out of it once already, telling me I'm taking the easy way out and if I have to change my lifestyle after the surgery then why not just do this without the surgery. My daughter-in-law has told me she will not support me if I get WLS. I'll tell them when I'm ready, and not a minute before.

My surgery is sometime in December. I still have 5 lbs to go before my Dr. will schedule my pre-op and there's an 8 week wait to see him, then another 2 weeks for surgery. Hopefully my family will understand that I did this for me and my health.....

I know what you mean my partner was dead against it but at the end of the day he accepted it as it is MY decision and no one else's. I have just had it done 2 days ago and have only told a few people my aunty took me to get it done as we were away a full weekend and she didn't want me to go alone even though she is not 100% comfortable she was still supportive. I haven't told my dad and don't have any intention I'm a 27 year old woman and don't need people judging my decision to change my life.

We shouldn't feel ashamed as we are taking positive steps don't feel bad about telling your family or some of your family as support is really important. I didn't realise how much pain I'd be in but would have been lost if no one knew as I have had to ask people for help.

I hope your surgery goes well and you get the support you need

Only told my husband and my two daughters, not my son, he's too opinionated. Didn't tell sisters, brothers, other family members or any friends. Don't want to hear their two cents worth.

I've told everyone. Best decision I've ever made. Lost 75 lbs in 3 months. If I didn't tell them people would assume I'm sick or drugs. Plus I'm very outspoken so my family and friends know not to give me a hard time or advise. Or I'll start giving them advice about their life choices. Everyone has been super supportive and positive. Heck I've even told strangers I barely know. I could be the gastric sleeve spokeperson. Lol

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My immediate circle knows but I'm not telling anyone else. I don't need the noise in my head already afraid as it is

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There are many people in my family that do not know either and my op was Feb 2013! Just didn't want any negative vibes as I had previously (many times) lost and gained right back. In fact I think some were waiting for the gaining, waiting to say....told you! Determine not to give them the satisfaction

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On 16/09/2017 at 6:56 AM, mzsantiago88 said:

My sisters are so negative and I'd rather not people don't even know we're sisters

I know this situation.

My youngest sibling, a sister 10 years my junior, and I get on so well. We swear that the brother and sister in between us were raised somewhere else and dropped from a plane!

We do not share personal feelings or much news with the in-betweens as they are so negative ... putting a black cloud on nearly everything.

3 hours ago, chica320 said:

I told my boss this morning but not the rest of the office one co-worker thinks I'm having hernia surgery

This is a pretty 'normal' cover story situation.

I told my boss (at my P/T job) that I have a hernia complication and that it needs "intrusive and painful" investigation.

4 hours ago, Barbzilla said:

If they ask, I'm not going to lie to them but I don't feel I need to tell them.

My strategy too, Barbzilla.

I'm (largely) keeping it quiet and secret but, ultimately, I won't lie if someone asks directly.

That's a great strategy. And, definitely, if someone who needs help asks about it, I'll tell them everything they need to know. I do think it's a positive step toward healing and long-term success to help others along the same journey.