I am currently halfway through the process on my way to RNY surgery, hoping for an October 2017 surgery date! So far the only people who know are my husband and sister because both are very supportive. My goal is to never tell my in-laws and some friends that I am having/had surgery. Not because I'm embarrassed but some of them are very judgmental and have in the past even tried to sabotage my healthy eating and weight loss efforts.

My one issue is that I do home daycare and take care of my sister in-laws girls (my nieces) so I have to take time off for this and I'm not sure what to say as far as taking so much time off. Also how do you handle family get together after surgery as far as eating goes? Any stories or insight on how you kept WLS a secret would be much appreciated, thank you!

I understand it can be emotional, I have had a few friends that have had WLS, but I also never feel like I have to defend myself to anyone about anything. That's the joy of being an adult. I also accept that my relationships with some individuals may change, but that's expected.

I understand it can be emotional, I have had a few friends that have had WLS, but I also never feel like I have to defend myself to anyone about anything. That's the joy of being an adult. I also accept that my relationships with some individuals may change, but that's expected.

I'm very happy you have found what works for you!!

And yes 2 years post op I've noticed relationships do change but usually it's just growing pains and people adjust in time. I haven't lost any friends and have gained many!! But some family members have issues still but that's their issue.

I kept it secret for a week then told everyone in the world. It's liberating. And I hate how effective wls is but no one talks about it, so maybe I can educate some people. Now, I don't know how I would make it without their support. My friends have been so amazing, it's strengthened my relationships. I'm lucky.

I have only told my husband, children, parents and one sister who has had the surgery. I'm not intentionally keeping it from others in my family but I am intentionally keeping it from my in-laws. My MIL would be supportive but she is a blabber mouth but doesn't mean to be. Its my competitive SIL who thinks she's a princess. It was ridiculous when I was thin. She only gave me the time of day once I gained weight. She is so bizarre. She would see it as me trying to outdo her or something. I just don't play her games and want to avoid it altogether. People do get weird when you tell them about it. SMH!

Ta Rena

i wished I never told some people but at the end of the day this is my body and my life so im gonna do whats best for me.

I thought I was the only one concerned with sharing -- I'm not planning on telling anyone but husband and (adult) kids -- and I haven't even told my kids my plans yet!! I broached the topic with my mother once when I was thinking about it, and she was aghast, so, nope, not discussing with her. For work, I think I'll just take a 2 week "vacation", and if I am really lucky, I may be able to time this over the Christmas break. We shall see :-)

Edited August 11, 20179 yr by DoodleLover203

I only told a few family members and that's it. I'm sure I'll share with more maybe later on