VENTING - can vs should

[lindabalseca 373]

I will agree that sometimes it is hard to not get impatient with some people when what they are asking seems obvious. I think we are all guilty of this, but I personally want to remember to treat people with kindness as I don't know what they are going through on a daily basis. This may well be the only support they have. I don't think we should coddle them, but find a nice way to correct them if needed.

That's exactly what I was trying to convey only you did it better lol

[Greensleevie 451]

. NOT EVERYONE HAS MENTAL ISSUES WITH food THAT IS OVERWEIGHT OR UNDERWEIGHT OR IS INCAPABLE OF CHANGE OR INCAPABLE OF LEARNING WAYS TO COPE WITH FOOD ADDICTION.

This is complete and utter BS.

If you're having major surgery to lose weight (or keep it off), you've got issues with food. Also, this surgery won't magically make all of our psychological problems with food (or any others) go away. You can't expect to be cured with the surgery alone. Yes, people can develop coping mechanisms, but it takes work on their part and in some cases, professional help.

The people we see asking questions about foods that are clearly not on their plan may not be quite ready for the commitment it takes to make the surgery successful in the long run. Some people feel they're doing a service to point that out. Me personally? I couldn't care less unless they are endangering themselves. It's not my job to define what their success looks like.

Edited May 29, 2017 by Greensleevie

[PatientEleventyBillion 851]

12 minutes ago, Greensleevie said:

. NOT EVERYONE HAS MENTAL ISSUES WITH food THAT IS OVERWEIGHT OR UNDERWEIGHT OR IS INCAPABLE OF CHANGE OR INCAPABLE OF LEARNING WAYS TO COPE WITH food ADDICTION.

This is complete and utter BS.

If you're having major surgery to lose weight (or keep it off), you've got issues with food. Also, this surgery won't magically make all of our psychological problems with food (or any others) go away. You can't expect to be cured with the surgery alone. Yes, people can develop coping mechanisms, but it takes work on their part and in some cases, professional help.

The people we see asking questions about foods that are clearly not on their plan may not be quite ready for the commitment it takes to make the surgery successful in the long run. Some people feel they're doing a service to point that out. Me personally? I couldn't care less unless they are endangering themselves. It's not my job to define what their success looks like.

inb4 someone who gets triggered by honesty says you're being insensitive.

[BigTexasMandy 60]

I feel you like people just don't get it.

Edited May 29, 2017 by BigTexasMandy

[BigTexasMandy 60]

43 minutes ago, Greensleevie said:

. NOT EVERYONE HAS MENTAL ISSUES WITH food THAT IS OVERWEIGHT OR UNDERWEIGHT OR IS INCAPABLE OF CHANGE OR INCAPABLE OF LEARNING WAYS TO COPE WITH food ADDICTION.

This is complete and utter BS.

If you're having major surgery to lose weight (or keep it off), you've got issues with food. Also, this surgery won't magically make all of our psychological problems with food (or any others) go away. You can't expect to be cured with the surgery alone. Yes, people can develop coping mechanisms, but it takes work on their part and in some cases, professional help.

The people we see asking questions about foods that are clearly not on their plan may not be quite ready for the commitment it takes to make the surgery successful in the long run. Some people feel they're doing a service to point that out. Me personally? I couldn't care less unless they are endangering themselves. It's not my job to define what their success looks like.

I didn't say every weight loss surgery patient, I said not everyone and I sincerely believe people are capable of change. If you don't, why are you on here and why did you get surgery? Why don't you just eat all you can and die? It's not black and white as I stated.

[BigTexasMandy 60]

@PatientEleventyBillion you're really invested in proving me wrong and bringing me down... why is that? what's so wrong in your life that you can't just f**k off?

there, how's that for being direct and honest?

[Abeille213 59]

[mention=309438]PatientEleventyBillion[/mention] you're really invested in proving me wrong and bringing me down... why is that? what's so wrong in your life that you can't just f**k off?
there, how's that for being direct and honest?

Mandy, ignore that person. No matter where you go whether it's work, with friends, with family or online... there is always that one person who enjoys arguing and trying to bring others down. I feel badly for them because people like that are typically incredibly miserable human beings. Your instinctive reaction to be kind to others is a good thing! Don't let anyone make you question that.

It's funny... For a group of people who have dealt with obesity for many years and have (most likely) endured the cruelty from people who love to make fun of overweight people, one would think that compassion amongst this group of people would be here in spades. But, unfortunately, there is cruelty everywhere.


Transitioning from lapband to bypass on June 12!
HW: 402, CW: 314, GW 185

[PatientEleventyBillion 851]

2 hours ago, BigTexasMandy said:

@PatientEleventyBillion you're really invested in proving me wrong and bringing me down... why is that? what's so wrong in your life that you can't just f**k off?

there, how's that for being direct and honest?

Get offended all you like, people are going to present opinions that you won't like regardless of how upset and how many childish tantrums you throw. Not changing anything. I have no idea what this "proving me wrong" nonsense is, I don't even know who you are. If you don't like opinions, and you or anyone else prefer to take criticism of the things people say or do personally, there's always an ignore function.

Edited May 29, 2017 by PatientEleventyBillion

[Abeille213 59]

Get offended all you like, people are going to present opinions that you won't like regardless of how upset and how many childish tantrums you throw. Not changing anything. I have no idea what this "proving me wrong" nonsense is, I don't even know who you are. If you don't like opinions, and you or anyone else prefer to take criticism of the things people say or do personally, there's always an ignore function.

Okay, Steven, you've gotten the attention you came here for. You can pretend to be an adult now and stop harassing her.


Transitioning from lapband to bypass on June 12!
HW: 402, CW: 314, GW 185

[PatientEleventyBillion 851]

Just now, Abeille213 said:

Okay, Steven, you've gotten the attention you came here for. You can pretend to be an adult now and stop harassing her.


Transitioning from lapband to bypass on June 12!
HW: 402, CW: 314, GW 185

Right.. responding to someone posting to me = harass. It was a nice effort. And clearly you know who I am, despite me having no idea who you are. Must be harassment.

[Abeille213 59]

This is the kind of childish behavior I see in my psychology practice. A guy with low self esteem bullying others (from the safety and "anonymity" of the Internet, of course). Although I typically see this from adolescents, not adults. Just let it go. Your behavior is ridiculous.


Transitioning from lapband to bypass on June 12!
HW: 402, CW: 314, GW 185

[PatientEleventyBillion 851]

6 minutes ago, Abeille213 said:

This is the kind of childish behavior I see in my psychology practice. A guy with low self esteem bullying others (from the safety and "anonymity" of the Internet, of course). Although I typically see this from adolescents, not adults. Just let it go. Your behavior is ridiculous.


Transitioning from lapband to bypass on June 12!
HW: 402, CW: 314, GW 185

This thread is specifically about people handling criticism, if you don't like the topic and people discussing it, don't post in it. Simple. You're the one trying to bully people out of a thread because they don't share your opinions. Protip: It's not gonna work. Either discuss the topic or be on your merry way. I'm not going to stop discussing this topic because you wish to cry harassment and whatever other contrived garbage you can try and fling around. This is my last response to your personal attacks.

Edited May 29, 2017 by PatientEleventyBillion

[NixNichi 79]

Whoooaaa guys let's just all chill. It's not that big of a deal. In the scheme of life and the big picture ya know? Now you know there's a saying and it's you catch more bees with honey then you do with vinegar? But there's also a saying that you can lead a horse to Water but you can't make em drink. To me this kinda means no matter what you tell someone no matter the tone it's up to them whether their gonna take your advice or not.. that being said their more apt to listen if your a bit nicer in your criticisms. As for this other beef come on you both said your piece. I don't think either ones gonna give way just let it go and move on it ain't worth the argument honestly.

SW: 328
CW: 256
GW: 150
Surgery date: January 12, 2017

[Abeille213 59]

This thread is specifically about people handling criticism, if you don't like the topic and people discussing it, don't post in it. Simple. You're the one trying to bully people out of a thread because they don't share your opinions. Protip: It's not gonna work. Either discuss the topic or be on your merry way. I'm not going to stop discussing this topic because you wish to cry harassment and whatever other contrived garbage you can try and fling around. This is my last response to your personal attacks.

lol this is good. Who said I don't like the topic or the people discussing it? I think you're reaching, Steven.

And I'm trying to bully people out of a thread because they don't agree with my opinions? Hmmmm. Interesting. Let's explore this statement, shall we?

Who are the "people" I'm allegedly bullying? What method(s) am I using to bully?

What are my opinions? I assume you must know considering you claim to disagree with them. So, let's hear it. What are they?

Methinks you're unable to answer any of these questions. You're here pathetically begging for attention whilst periodically taking breaks in order to harass other users. As I'm not a fan of bullies, I called you out on your behavior and you can't handle it. It's really that simple. A bully will almost always flip out when someone stands up to them. Just as you've flipped out here. Funny, indeed.


Transitioning from lapband to bypass on June 12!
HW: 402, CW: 314, GW 185

[PatientEleventyBillion 851]

9 hours ago, Introversion said:

Here's the caveat...no matter how kindly and supportively we present a suggestion, the person who originally sought the 'advice' often replies in a testy manner that, "I didn't ask about that! I asked if a Taco Bell burrito supreme is okay to eat in the soft food phase. Only supportive responses, please!"

Regardless of how helpful and supportive a reply is, many people have the ulterior motive of only fishing around for validation of their poor decisions. And of course, when they start regaining weight a few years from now, the blame and anger will be displaced onto some entity other than themselves (e.g., "the sleeve failed me").

Indeed, people will find opinions they think are useful and decide if it works for them, regardless of how one deliver the message. If one is utterly focused on how the message is delivered, there's likely no type of delivery that will appease them anyways. Personally it's not an excuse I buy.