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Hi all,

Been a busy week last week and company all weekend. Now have the house to myself...should be doing chores, but it'll wait a minute.

Diet Coke, haven't had one since banding. Thought it would be killer but it was nothing. I have actually read an article where diet sodas create sugar cravings, so for me, it is probably a good thing to have it out of my life.

Morning time I also have more restriction and usually start my day with a homemade latte (coco and coffee-very low cal and no fat). I will nearly always eat Breakfast of a Protein Drink or hot Cereal, sometimes eggs. But have been feeling restricted more of late anyway. But there are times when I can really put food down. I didn't get a chance to get on the scale today but will see what it up tomorrow. My pants do feel tighter in the waist, but wonder if it is just me not doing any exercise at all.

I am pondering yet another fill. I'm scare to get too restricted and really have to limit my eating...isn't that weird? My head games...drive me crazy!!

Horseback riding rocks. I have an avid rider, even when I was 50 pounds heavier...but the horses love it mo betta now. I do have a new mare that is abou 15.3 hands and I have to use the trailer to get on...but the others I can get on by myself now. First time in years.

Angyl...I'm also interested in what your nutritionist says. Please, if you will, share.

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I've lost all confidence in the organization with which I am involved. My surgeon is unreachable, the reception staff is incompetent, and the support staff is sub par. Oddly enough, I am sick AGAIN. My body's defenses are so weak. I haven't been eating much, if anything, and when I do eat I frequently get sick because my restriction is too much. I haven't been able to see my doctor for weeks and weeks...due to various reasons (he was on vacation/sick...). I'm a mess, even though I look good lol. It isn't much of a consolation though, I would rather be healthy. I really need an overhaul, and if my doctor/nutritionist aren't in the position to give me some immediate attention and effective action plans, I am going to a new bariatric speacialist. Someone from here private messaged me 2 weeks ago saying they were going to my surgeon for an initial consulation. I gave them my totally honest appraisal. Even after all of that they decided to keep the appointment. I truly hope they don't encounter problems like I have...and maybe I really AM Murphy's Law.

My appointment is next Tuesday...let's see if I can make it. Keep your fingers crossed lol

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Hey everyone, it sounds like everyone is in the same boat with restriction. I haven't joined in on the conversations lately because I feel like I have done absolutely terrible. Lost down to 156 last week up to 159 today!! Makes me so mad at myself I really want to hit 155, but apparently not bad enough. I have been so bad with choc lately. Last night I went to the store and bought 6 choc chip Cookies and ate 3 then 1 more this morning, haven't done that since I've been banded. Makes me sick, I finally threw the other 2 out or I would have eaten them too!! I've got to get back on track this is reminding me of preband times way to much. Help!!!! I'm feeling desperate. Why is it when we know we are being bad is when we don't communicate with people that we know can help us? Maybe it's because we really don't want help? I hope that's not the real reason, because I never want to be big again!!!!

Well enough venting for now, sorry for rambling on. Hope everyone has a great week. I'm going to start over tomorrow trying to be good and I really have to start exercising again.

Debbie

banded 1/8/07

h235/c159/g145

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Angyl,

I really hope you get to see your doctor soon and that you get to feeling better. I stinks to feel bad I know you want to feel healthy!

Debbie

banded 1/8/07

h235/c159/g145

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Hang in there Debbie...it can be so frustrating (had a 5 pound gain outta nowhere last week)! I know the head games can be so overwhelming...it's like, "well, I can eat this, because I eat so little compared to what I used to..." even when it's non-healthy and downright fried, fatty and sugary! 1 piece of chocolate, instead of a bag, 2 Cookies instead of a box, 10 chips with guacamole because that's a GOOD fat...yadda yadda...I'm right there with you, and guess what? All those little bits add up to no weight loss for me. It soooo gets harder the further into this we get. Guess I have in my head somewhere that it should be getting easier. It's not!

But we can do this!

Angyl, gosh I hope you get some relief...your health is so important...no body gets banded to become unhealthy. Make them listen! Or find someone that is compassionate, and there for you!

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Hello everyone!!! I just had an unfill (.5). I was having acid reflux. Anyone experience that? Doc said if the unfill didn't help it could be the gallballder. I just hope if it is that my insurance will pay for it.

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Lisa, congrats on the roller skating! Sounds like it was fun. I hope to get back on a horse this summer...for the past few years I felt so sorry for any horse that tried to carry me...add my out of shape condition, I just stopped riding. Hope to be back "in the saddle" soon!

Diet Coke? I was so addicted (Coke Zero). Haven't had a carbonated drink of any kind since banding. Was actually easier than I thought.

Susie...great weight loss! Wow!!

Angyl, I'm curious to know what dietary changes they suggest, and their plan to add calories...

Heading for a fill check up tomorrow morning. I can see removing some as well as adding some. Things have been so up and down lately!

Hi Cindi, I was reading your post, I use to ride horses before I gainned all my weight. I finally started riding again. I felt the same way as you. It is so nice to feel comfortable to ride again. Went beach riding a couple months ago but it was really too cold, hope to do it again soon on the beach. It was really nice.

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I finally decided that I didn't feel like putting up with my doctor's schedule and that I needed to take control of the situation. I called him today and when I couldn't reach him because he was busy, I sent him a letter by fax explaining that I needed immediate attention and why. He called me back pretty quickly. I am scheduled for a barium swallow test tomorrow morning to check the placement of the band for slippage and whatever. From there he is going to determine what the next step is. I don't think I have slippage, I think I need the small unfill and want to have another port revision, but my insurance company pays him for something, so we'll see.

On an amusing note...I found some old size 18 stuff so I decided to take a few pics. I was an 18 when I got banded, and am a 4/6 now. Putting these things on really blew my mind. I can't remember being that big...

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I just wanted to say how much I appreciated you all and how much this site means to me. I've been super busy and haven't been able to get here a much as I want or need...but I was thinking tonight, after a 14 or so hour day, that I really needed to get here.

I hear that many of us are having difficulties and don't know what the answer is but I know we can figure it out. I'm so proud of all of your weight loss and it inspires me so much. I say to myself, well, they can do it, I can too. I just need to knuckle down.

Angyl...good for you for being assertive.

Cindi...five pounds...you will drop it in no time...look at where you've come from...you can do it.

Debbie...I'm doing things that I haven't done since banding as well...and we can overcome this. Or we can do things in moderation now. A few Cookies in the grand scheme of things isn't a big deal. Don't get down on yourself. I say, give yourself permission and then get on with it.

Cowgirls....sounds like we have a few riders here...what a relief for our prize ponies!! That is a HUGH motivator for me.

I gotta get to bed...to many busy days but I needed to be here for a bit to read and catch up. To feel support...thanks all.

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just wanted to say how much I appreciated you all and how much this site means to me. I've been super busy and haven't been able to get here a much as I want or need...but I was thinking tonight, after a 14 or so hour day, that I really needed to get here.

I hear that many of us are having difficulties and don't know what the answer is but I know we can figure it out. I'm so proud of all of your weight loss and it inspires me so much. I say to myself, well, they can do it, I can too. I just need to knuckle down.

Angyl...good for you for being assertive.

Cindi...five pounds...you will drop it in no time...look at where you've come from...you can do it.

Debbie...I'm doing things that I haven't done since banding as well...and we can overcome this. Or we can do things in moderation now. A few Cookies in the grand scheme of things isn't a big deal. Don't get down on yourself. I say, give yourself permission and then get on with it.

Cowgirls....sounds like we have a few riders here...what a relief for our prize ponies!! That is a HUGH motivator for me.

I gotta get to bed...to many busy days but I needed to be here for a bit to read and catch up. To feel support...thanks all.

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Oh my gosh, that is great. I wish I had saved some of my cloths. That is amazing. Hope everything goes well with the doc tomorrow!

Debbie

banded 1/8/07

h235/c159/g145

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I went to see my doctor today. He put me under the fluro to check my band. The placememt is fine, no slippage. He did the barium swallow test and saw that it is taking me longer than normal to pass the liquid. He tried to do the unfill and couldn't get to my port because, not only has it moved to what seems to be a land far far away, it is also upside down. He is going to do the revision and cut the cathedar. Apparently since I have lost so much weight it is all curled around. It is outpatient, and I am going to sit patiently until he can squeeze me in. I'll keep you all updated!

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I know the head games can be so overwhelming...it's like, "well, I can eat this, because I eat so little compared to what I used to..." even when it's non-healthy and downright fried, fatty and sugary! 1 piece of chocolate, instead of a bag, 2 Cookies instead of a box, 10 chips with guacamole because that's a GOOD fat...yadda yadda...

My thoughts exactly!!! I am actually glad to see I'm not the only one who has thought that . . . Today has been awful - if it wasn't nailed down or moving, I have eaten it! :embaressed_smile:

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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