I'm a private person and have not told anyone at work about my surgery. Last Friday a co-worker, who is also obese, took the liberty to comment on my weight loss. " You're just wasting away! You look good. But you don't need to loose anymore weight."

I was so shocked and really wasn't ready for a comment like that. All I could do was laugh it off.

Fast forward to today. A different co-worker said the same thing to me. " You're wasting away"

I just responded with "yeah your right."

All of my co-workers are used to seeing me at 260 pounds . I am now 185. I'm still obese and have no intention to self sabotage my progress because of anyone's ideal of what "Looks good enough."

My goal is to become healthy and maintain a "normal bmi." I'm sure others will begin to comment even more as time progresses.

I'm staying on plan and I'm ready for the haters.

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@@Hiraeth Thanks for your reply. You are correct, I was insulted. However after reading the post others have made I will make a conscious effort to look at it from a different perspective. There are some people who don't mean any harm. However there are some who express themselves in a rude way which can be taken as malicious. Loosing an average of 3 pounds a week almost consistently can appear dramatic.

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So, their tone or facial expression came off as rude? Now, that can definitely change my perspective. If they spoke to you a certain way, or gave you a negative look, then I'd just pop it right back.

To the overweight lady, I'd probably say, "It's ok to be jealous. I'm well aware of how much weight I need to lose. From the looks of it, you are the last person to be giving me advice." (Ok, maybe that is a bit mean. But I have a coworker who is over 400 pounds, and she makes comments that are obviously motivated by envy. )

To the person who said you're "wasting away": I'd say, "You can do better than that."

I also work with a lady who is at least 350 pounds. She actually told me I would fail in my WLS. She even said "I know people who have died during and after the surgery!" Now, why would someone say that? Since I've lost 66 pounds, not once has she complimented me. What does that tell you?

Edited January 18, 20179 yr by Hiraeth

@@Hiraeth Thanks for your reply. You are correct, I was insulted. However after reading the post others have made I will make a conscious effort to look at it from a different perspective. There are some people who don't mean any harm. However there are some who express themselves in a rude way which can be taken as malicious. Loosing an average of 3 pounds a week almost consistently can appear dramatic.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using the BariatricPal App

So, their tone or facial expression came off as rude? Now, that can definitely change my perspective. If they spoke to you a certain way, or gave you a negative look, then I'd just pop it right back.

To the overweight lady, I'd probably say, "It's ok to be jealous. I'm well aware of how much weight I need to lose. From the looks of it, you are the last person to be giving me advice." (Ok, maybe that is a bit mean. But I have a coworker who is over 400 pounds, and she makes comments that are obviously motivated by envy. )

To the person who said you're "wasting away": I'd say, "You can do better than that."

I also work with a lady who is at least 350 pounds. She actually told me I would fail in my WLS. She even said "I know people who have died during and after the surgery!" Now, why would someone say that? Since I've lost 66 pounds, not once has she complimented me. What does that tell you?

Yes. The overweight lady had a rude tone when she said it. And the other lady had a disgusted look on her face like I shouldn't look this way. But I am going to continue to stay on plan and be prepared the next time.

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@@Hiraeth Thanks for your reply. You are correct, I was insulted. However after reading the post others have made I will make a conscious effort to look at it from a different perspective. There are some people who don't mean any harm. However there are some who express themselves in a rude way which can be taken as malicious. Loosing an average of 3 pounds a week almost consistently can appear dramatic.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using the BariatricPal App

So, their tone or facial expression came off as rude? Now, that can definitely change my perspective. If they spoke to you a certain way, or gave you a negative look, then I'd just pop it right back.

To the overweight lady, I'd probably say, "It's ok to be jealous. I'm well aware of how much weight I need to lose. From the looks of it, you are the last person to be giving me advice." (Ok, maybe that is a bit mean. But I have a coworker who is over 400 pounds, and she makes comments that are obviously motivated by envy. )

To the person who said you're "wasting away": I'd say, "You can do better than that."

I also work with a lady who is at least 350 pounds. She actually told me I would fail in my WLS. She even said "I know people who have died during and after the surgery!" Now, why would someone say that? Since I've lost 66 pounds, not once has she complimented me. What does that tell you?

Yes. The overweight lady had a rude tone when she said it. And the other lady had a disgusted look on her face like I shouldn't look this way. But I am going to continue to stay on plan and be prepared the next time.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using the BariatricPal App

Also she wants you to fail. That was a very horrible thing to say to you. Sorry you had to go through that.

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@@Hiraeth Thanks for your reply. You are correct, I was insulted. However after reading the post others have made I will make a conscious effort to look at it from a different perspective. There are some people who don't mean any harm. However there are some who express themselves in a rude way which can be taken as malicious. Loosing an average of 3 pounds a week almost consistently can appear dramatic.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using the BariatricPal App

So, their tone or facial expression came off as rude? Now, that can definitely change my perspective. If they spoke to you a certain way, or gave you a negative look, then I'd just pop it right back.

To the overweight lady, I'd probably say, "It's ok to be jealous. I'm well aware of how much weight I need to lose. From the looks of it, you are the last person to be giving me advice." (Ok, maybe that is a bit mean. But I have a coworker who is over 400 pounds, and she makes comments that are obviously motivated by envy. )

To the person who said you're "wasting away": I'd say, "You can do better than that."

I also work with a lady who is at least 350 pounds. She actually told me I would fail in my WLS. She even said "I know people who have died during and after the surgery!" Now, why would someone say that? Since I've lost 66 pounds, not once has she complimented me. What does that tell you?

Yes. The overweight lady had a rude tone when she said it. And the other lady had a disgusted look on her face like I shouldn't look this way. But I am going to continue to stay on plan and be prepared the next time.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using the BariatricPal App

In that case, they have no business giving their advice. Rudeness, without being provoked, is usually out of insecurity and/or envy. That's their problem, and they have no business coming after you because of it.

And yes, stay on your plan! Don't ever let someone discourage you. Keep us updated on future rudeness and your response. I'm looking forward to hearing what you say and what their reaction is.

@@Hiraeth Thanks for your reply. You are correct, I was insulted. However after reading the post others have made I will make a conscious effort to look at it from a different perspective. There are some people who don't mean any harm. However there are some who express themselves in a rude way which can be taken as malicious. Loosing an average of 3 pounds a week almost consistently can appear dramatic.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using the BariatricPal App

So, their tone or facial expression came off as rude? Now, that can definitely change my perspective. If they spoke to you a certain way, or gave you a negative look, then I'd just pop it right back.

To the overweight lady, I'd probably say, "It's ok to be jealous. I'm well aware of how much weight I need to lose. From the looks of it, you are the last person to be giving me advice." (Ok, maybe that is a bit mean. But I have a coworker who is over 400 pounds, and she makes comments that are obviously motivated by envy. )

To the person who said you're "wasting away": I'd say, "You can do better than that."

I also work with a lady who is at least 350 pounds. She actually told me I would fail in my WLS. She even said "I know people who have died during and after the surgery!" Now, why would someone say that? Since I've lost 66 pounds, not once has she complimented me. What does that tell you?

Yes. The overweight lady had a rude tone when she said it. And the other lady had a disgusted look on her face like I shouldn't look this way. But I am going to continue to stay on plan and be prepared the next time.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using the BariatricPal App

Also she wants you to fail. That was a very horrible thing to say to you. Sorry you had to go through that.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using the BariatricPal App

Exactly! She has said other mean things to me, regarding other situations. I'm glad we both can see haters for who they are.

My coworkers that don't know about my surgery are always stopping me & asking "are you losing weight?" I just say yes, thanks for noticing, then I try to scurry off but they ALL then want to ask a million questions - how are you doing it, what are you eating, are the shakes working, are you full? JEEZ.

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My coworkers that don't know about my surgery are always stopping me & asking "are you losing weight?" I just say yes, thanks for noticing, then I try to scurry off but they ALL then want to ask a million questions - how are you doing it, what are you eating, are the shakes working, are you full? JEEZ.

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I usually tell people (the ones I don't want knowing about the surgery) that I'm just watching what I eat and keeping myself busy. That way, you're not completely lying, and you may even motivate them to start watching what they eat.

My coworkers that don't know about my surgery are always stopping me & asking "are you losing weight?" I just say yes, thanks for noticing, then I try to scurry off but they ALL then want to ask a million questions - how are you doing it, what are you eating, are the shakes working, are you full? JEEZ.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I am now getting comments from people at work every day. What makes it easier for me is I use the treadmill desk everyday at work so I think people are chalking it up to activity etc...lol.. I've had a few people mention my dedication to my fitness.

I came across this topic a while back. Didn't pay much attention as I was fresh out of surgery (mini gastric bypass). I went back to work 1 week post op, and a nurse I work with said: you are wasting away! (It was the preop that caused the dramatic weight loss of *drumroll* 14 lbs

If I'm "wasting away" after 14 lbs, what am I after 40? 80?

I didn't have a ready come back, I said "I'm sick" lmao I don't know why. She shut up right away.

I regret saying that now. Sigh.

I came across this topic a while back. Didn't pay much attention as I was fresh out of surgery (mini gastric bypass). I went back to work 1 week post op, and a nurse I work with said: you are wasting away! (It was the preop that caused the dramatic weight loss of *drumroll* 14 lbs

If I'm "wasting away" after 14 lbs, what am I after 40? 80?

I didn't have a ready come back, I said "I'm sick" lmao I don't know why. She shut up right away.

I regret saying that now. Sigh.

Don't beat yourself up. Tell her you are eating healthier and on the day she spoke to you, you were just getting over a mild case of food poisoning. Then in a very positive tone tell her you are working to lose weight and be more active. If she asks how tell her what you are eating and doing for exercise. Don't mention the surgery unless you want it known. Also, if you mention the surgery be prepared to live it every time she sees you. Stay positive. This is about you and your life.

When i first started out WLS was a taboo thing. People looked at you like you were a Leper. They would say things like.... You have lost weight, how did you do it? People would say i had WLS, they would then look at you with judgmental eyes and say... Ohhhh... Now WLS doesn't carry as much stigma as it once did.

I got my band in 2009 when it was still a "you took the easy way out" mind set. This is why i told no one except my friend and mentor Paula, Husband, son's and daughter in law. I didn't even tell my parents or siblings. But when the weight started coming off i had to tell my family. My mom thought i was sick... i had to reassure her i was not.

On the day i went back from LB surgery (6 days later).... i was laid off from my job so i didn't see them for months. When i did, they were amazed and when asked i said..... I watch everything i eat, exercise 5 times a week and I'm cleaning houses which keeps me going. That satisfied them for a while. But when i saw them again.... I started getting the... wow, look at how much you have lost, you need to stop your getting too skinny. Your face is sunk in...

My favorite ones was.... a couple new nick names i got..... Thin mint.. and Skinny Bi&ch. I would look at them with the biggest cheesiest smile and say..... Really, you think im skinny.... (clap hands) and say... Yeah ME. Or i would say.... I know right, i look fabulous don't i.

Now that all the years have passed and the WLS is not a "bad word"... I say the same thing... I watch everything i eat, exercise and i had the LB surgery.

So take what they say and turn it into a positive for you to grown on.... When they say, your too skinny, say..... My body will stop when it's ready. but thanks for your unsolicited comments.

Chris

@@silhouette when they say .... Your too skinny or wasting away.... here.... Ready comment #1.... Really you think im Skinny (don't say too skinny)... clap, smile, jump up and down and say... YEAH!!! ME. #2.... (my favorite)... I look at them and say..... I know i look fabulous right.... #3 Im on a diet and exercise plan, you should try one.