Attention from the opposite sex or same (depending on what you like)

[Candygyrl 637]

I know this is an old topic.. but for some of us it's somewhat flattering to get hit on. It's a sign that we've still got it right? So I was one of those people who said... "I don't notice much difference".

Anyways for me its starting. Like 2 weeks ago I had an attractive guy stop me and ask if I were married etc I happily said yes and kept walking. Guys are going out of their way to make eye contact with me to say hello. Or spark conversations or tell me I'm attractive. I do see the difference. It reminds me of the way it used to be but I guess its been so long-- and I was getting hit on in a different way so I guess to me it was the same except its not.

Its bittersweet. Yet I feel good about the rediscovered attention. How do or did you handle the attention? How did it make you feel when you started to receive it? Also I've been itching to go out. The other day I went to a local comedy night by myself. As I was being seated in the club, a girl invited me to join her and her friends in their booth. We had a good time and took selfies and I just felt--- I guess included.

Did any of you experience increased attention inclusion or acceptance from people in general?? Do you feel good about it? Or the opposite? p

[AnA92212 577]

I definitely get more attention, but I am married so I don't care. It's nice when people scramble to get the door for you, or make mention that I am attractive. I guess I just see myself as a mom and wife and that's good enough for me. My husband is the one who loved me even when I was almost 300 pounds. I almost think "what's wrong with these people, can't they tell I have a baby?"

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

This is a really complicated topic for me. I have always been pretty and outgoing so I have always had a lot of attention from people in general. Male and female, platonic and otherwise.

Now I get more attention from a wider variety of men. Also the quality of men has really improved. I will say the overall net woth of the kind of men that talk to me has probably tripled. I'm moving into trophy 2nd/3rd wife category. The fact that I look about 10 years younger than I am seems to really appeal to a lot of men, they get the perk of someone that looks young without any of the young girl drama. As the kids say "they are on me".

Women however ignore me a lot. They view me as a threat. I live in an area over ran by basic b*****s so my attire, makeup and hair really stand out. Women look me over from head to toe then ignore me. At first I really didn't understand it or care but now that I recognize it, I am amused by it.

The way that random men go out of their way for me is almost embarrassing. Like they will hold doors open for me, when I am still in the parking lot not even near the door. I was dressed up for Halloween and went to a big party dressed as whorish as possible and men took pictures with me all night. A few of them were dragged away by their companions, who gave me evil looks (I don't want your husband I swear).

I'm single so its fun and it saves me a lot of money, lol. I do kind of hate how women react to me now. It isn't my fault I can walk in 4 inch heels, 10 pounds of hair and a face full of makeup. I'm my own personal real life barbie and I am having a lot of fun with it. It does say a lot about women though, because I beat my face and had big hair when I was big and my shoe game has always been amazing. When I was large no one saw me as a threat but now they do. The thing is, I had just as many men talk to me when I was big as I do now.

I could just ramble for hours about this. It is an ever evolving kind of thing for me right now.

Edited November 10, 2016 by OutsideMatchInside

[TheCurvyJones 721]

There was a point where the attention was different... but the romantic interest just didn't come to fruition for me. I am treated differently than I was when I was fat. I was invisible when I was fat, then more visible the smaller I got. But once you hit a certain size you look "normal" and you kind of blend in again. I only really get attention from people who knew me when I was heavy.

[TheCurvyJones 721]

In answer to your question, I don't feel strongly about it one way or the other. I don't hate attention but I don't crave it either.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

From what I can tell, it becomes an issue during the transition and slowly becomes part of the new "normal." Just don't let it take over. When things are new and exciting, we can all fall victim to the "grass is always greener" temptation. But I will say, getting attention is a rush.

[Candygyrl 637]

@outsidemachine that's awesome! Sucks that you have so many female haters. Women occassionally aproach me all the time to compliment me on something-- shoes, hair, makeup, whatever-- We boost each other, So thats unfortunate. I always got attention from the opposite sex its just a a little different these days... its cool though. Like you said the attention was always there but now getting a different caliber of men.

@@OKCPirate I guess It's like getting a brand new car-- need time to get used to it *new car smell*

I already know the grass aint greener so--not an issue.

@@TheCurvyJones I feel you. I guess it feels good to be viewed as more "normal".

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@Candygyrl I do get a lot of compliments still but I got more when I was larger. It was like when I was over 300 lbs women fell over themselves to compliment me, like they were so surprised I still made an effort.

[TheCurvyJones 721]

Yes!!!

@@Candygyrl I do get a lot of compliments still but I got more when I was larger. It was like when I was over 300 lbs women fell over themselves to compliment me, like they were so surprised I still made an effort.

[Candygyrl 637]

Well they are coming in like crazy. I'm finding men in my DM telling me about their height, weight annual salary then this really attractive guy with Tommy guns for arms and banana fingers, then last week I had to cool off this guy at my job last week. He's been getting a little too comfortable and went too far with his advances. Everything else has just been normal. Double takes and random compliments from both men and women. This just started about 2 weeks ago which is why I asked.

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[LipstickLady 25,682]

I am one of those people who has always walked head up (not with my face buried in my phone) and I smile and speak to anyone who makes eye contact.

I've noticed that I get a lot more RESPONSE now instead of the startled "why is a stranger talking to me" reaction. The attention I get is from both males and females but i do think I come across less "threatening" than some because when I encounter a couple, I ALWAYS address the female first with a compliment before I even acknowledge the male. (It's the salesperson in me.)

I love the attention. It truly lifts my mood and brightens my day. Because I know how good it feels, I make sure I pass that same attention on to random strangers throughout my day.

[Dub 9,922]

It was something that was occurring before I realized it. More specifically, it was something was occurring and stirring change in me before I realized it.

Throughout my marriage we were always a Beauty and the Beast couple. She was the good looking side of things. I was the workhorse outdoors lover who only occasionally would grab a haircut, shave and dress nicely for date nights. A real life Duck Dynasty couple without all the fun aspects of the show, lol. It was how it was and I was fine with things.

The year leading up to my surgery was a tough one....not so much for me....but for the family living with me. I was an ass. A complete and total ass.

A couple years before I ripped out ankle tendons while golfing. Surgery to repair...."No more golf, Big Guy" was surgeon's advice. Damn..there goes something that I really, truly enjoyed. Gone. So were forays into woods. Knee problems and other problems kept me from hunting, too.

Then I had a scare with some pulmonary issues. More doctors. More restrictions.

Then the blessed back injury occurred. Knocked me outa doing anything but the most basic...shower....sitting in chair....and labored effort to get around house. Weeks and weeks of this. So pissed off at not being able to be active. Couldn't make it to work for almost two months. Everything I was before was now on hold.

Ill tempered and angry. Crash diet engaged due to not burning any calories. Spine surgeon advised bariatric surgery as first step....I proceeded with scheduling it but was skeptical. Couldn't eat or drink like I used to now either.

Hard to live with. A real s.o.b. Resentful and not accepting the new low I'd slumped to. Hell, even my dogs didn't want to be around me anymore. No humor. No supportive comments. Just a great big fat old minus sign sitting in a chair and watching the world move around him.

FAST FORWARD to the sleeve surgery and the weeks afterwards.....hope is flooding in. I'm feeling much better and I can see how things really are improving with my health.

FAST FORWARD three months......wow.....wow.....I'm feeling much better. It's like I've been kidnapped and then brainwashed into a positive thinking person and dropped back off at home.

Problem was that much strain had occurred in marriage over prior 18+ months. I'd been such a negative person....could find no joy....irritable and quick to snap of with short comments. Now all the sudden I was happy and firing on close to all cylinders.....close.

Then....the new attention from others began to be noticed. It was a nice and welcome feeling compared to the mess I'd made of a 20+ year marriage. It was a pleasant distraction and something that I needed to experience in order to get to another level of awareness....to better examine myself and the life I wanted to live.

I've always been a guy who is resistant to change. Maintaining the status quo was a tremendous goal.....especially when I was grossly overweight and so unhealthy. I was fighting to maintain "normal status"....as sad of a state as it was.

The new me.....healthy version....unburdened from pain and fear of health issues......secure in my own skin....the new me was all about making needed changes to get to the life I want. I want to grow into new capabilities and better embrace my roles as father, mate, son, boss, employee and friend.

It took the post wls realization that I was not the old me in order for me to better see what life could be like if I reached for it. The attention you mention was something that helped me raise my eyebrow and look around.....look ahead and made me say "Hello, Life.....I'm coming at ya".

Those attentions were a paradigm shift for me as I realized that healthy living was a wonderful thing.....but that I wanted it all....to live healthy but with shared passion and desire.....and that it is attainable so long as I keep moving forward and putting in the effort to grow and to accept and facilitate change.

From what I can tell, it becomes an issue during the transition and slowly becomes part of the new "normal." Just don't let it take over. When things are new and exciting, we can all fall victim to the "grass is always greener" temptation. But I will say, getting attention is a rush.

Preach on, brother.

You were the one that warned me about the wild times that may ensue from the hormone dump and adrenaline rush.

You were spot on. It was like being on a 'wonder drug' full of feel good & energy.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@Dub - I'm glad you are finding your new normal. And I'm REALLY glad it's a fun normal.

[laura1116 112]

@@Dub a true inspiration

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[BigTink2LilTink 723]

Yup, I'm getting way way more attention now that I was getting two years ago before I had the surgery. I find it both flattering and somewhat saddening. I guess flattered because I have someone that actually showing a sense of sexual attraction towards me, and that is indeed a new/newer feeling for me to get/understand. Sadden because I am worth so much more and that it took me having to loose a shit ton of weight for someone to see actual value in me. I guess honestly if I had to classify how I feel about it I would be 3 parts flattered and 1 part bitter about the attention.

But then again I remember that I enjoy having sex, so that 1 part bitterness can totally go out the window if I'm getting laid. Sorry, but I'm still a man, in fact a man that has been blessed with a flooding on testosterone as of late, so my sexual drive is off the roof.

I know this is an old topic.. but for some of us it's somewhat flattering to get hit on. It's a sign that we've still got it right? So I was one of those people who said... "I don't notice much difference".

Anyways for me its starting. Like 2 weeks ago I had an attractive guy stop me and ask if I were married etc I happily said yes and kept walking. Guys are going out of their way to make eye contact with me to say hello. Or spark conversations or tell me I'm attractive. I do see the difference. It reminds me of the way it used to be but I guess its been so long-- and I was getting hit on in a different way so I guess to me it was the same except its not.

Its bittersweet. Yet I feel good about the rediscovered attention. How do or did you handle the attention? How did it make you feel when you started to receive it? Also I've been itching to go out. The other day I went to a local comedy night by myself. As I was being seated in the club, a girl invited me to join her and her friends in their booth. We had a good time and took selfies and I just felt--- I guess included.

Did any of you experience increased attention inclusion or acceptance from people in general?? Do you feel good about it? Or the opposite? p