See...you don't really need it...

[ginabee38 91]

Last week I went to my NUT and discovered that I lost about 5 lbs since August, and almost 10 since my first visit with Surgeon on June 8. I matter-of-factly shared this news with my mom. She said she has noticed I've been watching (what I eat). Although she doesn't really want me to get the surgery (VSG) she has been the most supportive in my immediate family. However, after I shared this news, she said something like "see, you don't really need it..." I was at a loss of what to say in the moment. I KNOW it will help me. I'm very worried about regain, but I think I will actually have a chance at really losing a significant amount of weight.

Several years ago, I was able to lose 30# over the course of several months through walking, eating better and drinking a lot of green tea, in order to meet a weight requirement of 250# to go sky diving...and I did it! Unfortunately, it's something my mom likes to reference when trying to discourage me from the surgery and make me realize I can "do it on my own". Luckily, I think she knows that I'm pretty gung-ho about it. To me, this is my next "sky-dive" and it's going to happen (still waiting for insurance approval). Still, I'm frustrated on what to say in the moment when this conversation happens. Any ideas/thoughts?

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[theladylovely 5]

Well, since you know you can do it without the surgery already tell her she's right, that you CAN do it without the surgery, then point out that even though you CAN do it on your own that you haven't gotten the results you want, or the longevity of the results you want and that this surgery is a tool you truly believe will help you get where you want to be and stay there so that you can have a long and happy life, because it sounds like your mom loves you and all that good moms really want for their kids is for them to be happy and healthy, hopefully that will help remind her of that then for good measure thank her for being so incredibly supportive, after all they do say that honey works better then vinegar!

[Joy@boman 151]

Its hard to hear from other people, and in the end it is totally your choice. I used to get so upset but after having the surgery last week and having some issues i get why they are worried. It has been a very eye opening event in my life and My loved ones have been pretty stressed as well. My poor husband has had to deal with so much. So I now understand. Even if they are not good at saying it deep down it is just concern. Hugs

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[jess9395 5,448]

There's another poster on here (@Jamielogical) who refers to her surgery as weight MAINTENANCE surgery.

I have lost 50-100lbs several times over the course of my life. I hit a low and immediately rebound with a few extra lbs to show for it.

This time I lost 136lbs and have maintained for almost two years.

Could I lose without the surgery? Sure. Could not keep it off.

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[FrankyG 1,450]

Almost anyone can lose weight if they go on a very restrictive diet and exercise regimen. The issue is that for many of us - the clinically obese - there are factors that make it near impossible to maintain long term weight loss. No one, especially those of us that managed to put on so much weight that we're even considering surgery, would be able to keep up with that forever. The constant yo-yo dieting doesn't just cause feelings of failure - it hurts your metabolism and makes it that much harder to get any weight off the next time. And along with that, eventually many just give up and live with ever growing list of health issues, and limited life experiences, and die early deaths because they didn't think they had any other options, like surgery.

Long term, the Portion Control still exists, but the big part is getting help from nutritionists, counselors and doctors to relearn new, better habits that will last the rest of your life.

Surgery isn't a cure or a cheat. It is a tool that helps you to reach and maintain weight loss. But it requires you to do some hard work too. Good news is, you put the work in and relearn how to eat healthy and exercise, it will work for you for the rest of your life.

[ginabee38 91]

Well, since you know you can do it without the surgery already tell her she's right, that you CAN do it without the surgery, then point out that even though you CAN do it on your own that you haven't gotten the results you want, or the longevity of the results you want and that this surgery is a tool you truly believe will help you get where you want to be and stay there so that you can have a long and happy life, because it sounds like your mom loves you and all that good moms really want for their kids is for them to be happy and healthy, hopefully that will help remind her of that then for good measure thank her for being so incredibly supportive, after all they do say that honey works better then vinegar!

Thank you for your response. The one word that jumped out at me was "longevity". It's the maintenance afterwards that's really tough. I think this surgery will help.

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[ginabee38 91]

Its hard to hear from other people, and in the end it is totally your choice. I used to get so upset but after having the surgery last week and having some issues i get why they are worried. It has been a very eye opening event in my life and My loved ones have been pretty stressed as well. My poor husband has had to deal with so much. So I now understand. Even if they are not good at saying it deep down it is just concern. Hugs

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If you don't mind me asking, what kind of issues did you have post-op? I'm especially worried because my surgery is December 23, so close to Christmas. I'm working on being positive, but sometimes it's hard.

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[ginabee38 91]

Thank you for all your responses. I appreciate them all.

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[LipstickLady 25,682]

I didn't need WLS to lose weight. I was a freaking champion at it! I lost 80 pounds in four months with WWs. I lost 75 pounds in three months with Phentermine. I lost 50 pounds in another round with WWs over three months. When I tried Jenny, I lost 60 pounds in four months.

Yup. I can lose weight like a champ.

I needed WLS to KEEP OFF the weight. I am 3.5 years out and maintaining easily. Life changer.

[SuperJenn529 1]

I've been researching surgery for a few months and I just finally told my husband I was interested and set up an appointment for a seminar. I had a long talk with my husband and we were discussing how he thought our marriage might change. My husband is 150 lbs and doesn't have issues with food. He also has a pretty crappy diet filled with pop, pizza, and fast food, even though I cook frequently. One of the things he brought up was the fact that when I was not getting pregnant and I was around 280 lbs, I went on Atkins and lost 50 pounds. My weight loss slowed and right when I was getting ready to restart from phase one, I found out that I was pregnant. I was so sick during my pregnancy that my healthy eating habits could not be kept up. My husband uses my past "failed" diets as a reference, and he thinks that I would go have surgery and not stick to it as I have with previous diet plans. (Doing Atkins to get pregnant was the only time I've ever lost more than 20 lbs.) He basically wonders if I should waste my time and money doing the surgery when 1. I've done it myself without surgery and 2. I apparently have issues staying on a diet. It's difficult when people don't really understand where you're coming from. Luckily, my husband is supportive of whatever decision I make.

[ginabee38 91]

It's so frustrating. Some of it, I feel, is based on the fact that they love and care for us. I think that's the first part, that you can do it yourself without surgery. I'm not sure what the second part is about. So far though, I have learned that it is crucial that we work on the emotional part of our journey, otherwise this "tool" that surgery gives us will be wasted. Maybe they don't want us going through surgery if they think we can't follow a diet plan...and believe me, part of me believes it to...part of me worries that the surgery will help me lose the weight, then I'll gain it again. It really is a mind game though, so if you're ready to make it happen, find a good therapist and/or support group and start your journey! We are here to help you and I'm glad to hear that your husband will be supportive of you and your choice.

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[ginabee38 91]

When my mom mentioned my interest to my dad, he said "what's the point if she's going to gain it back?" My dad is a good guy, but can be a bit insensitive at times.

My first response to hearing this was an open mouth and a sound of exasperation and surprise. As I though about it though, it occurred to me that if he had such a lack of faith that I would be able to KEEP it off, what makes him think that I would be able to LOSE the weight on my own in the first place?! This thought actually gives me a bit of power back. I think with a lot of hard work, this can work.

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