Hi all

Long story short, my male housemate doesn't know about my surgery and I don't really want to tell him. But all I can think is that surely he will notice? I used to eat large quantities of food and now I eat out of the smallest bowl in the world. He also often cooks us dinner out of the blue & I don't know what I'll do if that happens.

The reason I don't want to tell him is because a) he's super skinny and I don't think he'll understand and his girlfriend is also a close friend of ours and I'm sure he'll tell her and it will end up going around our whole group.

I'm really struggling with this. Should I just tell him?

Advice?

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@@Nikkinee I don't know how you'd be able to keep it from him. I came home with 10 bottles of meds, had a visiting nurse, have all my fluids and protein in the kitchen. It's very hard to miss. I also would want his support- and not have to stress about lying. It's certainly your decision.

Pretty much going to be impossible not to talk about it. The change in your behavior is going to be very noticeable.

Those first few weeks were so different for me. I took over the kitchen with all the things I needed to be on point. Don't know how he won't notice the change. Good luck

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If you don't want to tell him about your surgery, you could just mention that you are going on a medically supervised diet (which is true). The diet would explain your new food choices and the smaller portion sizes.

Maybe I should move out. Lol.

I'm 3 weeks post op and have been staying at my parents for the recovery/liquid/purée stage. But yes, he's definitely going to notice. That's my dilemma. I think it's a no win situation.

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Why do you live with someone you can't trust?

He has many endearing qualities and I don't expect that he'll run and tell everyone, but I think when it comes to partners people tend to tell them everything. It's just unfortunate that she's also in my group of friends.

I don't know about you but there are very few people I know of who you can tell a secret to and they don't tell at least 1 person.

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I echo what the others said; it will be next to impossible to keep this from a roommate. What reason did you give him for staying at your parents' house for 3 weeks? That's a long time to be away from your home.

What did you tell him about the weight you lost before surgery if you did lose weight?

Because he's not seeing the really weird liquid-puree phase, you can delay telling him about surgery. When he notices the small amounts of food in the Goldilocks bowl, tell him that you want to lose weight. When he notices the rapid rate of loss, talk about surgery or wait for him to ask. If you don't tell him, he'll either think surgery or that you're seriously ill. By then your entire circle will have noticed that something is going on. People talk, but not always for the sake of idle gossip. You don't have to tell the whole group, but when someone is living under the same roof, it's probably more trouble to stay silent than to open up. As to your friend/his girlfriend, I dunno. Maybe tell them together and add that you're doing so out of respect for their relationship, but that you'd rather it go no farther. Now and then we just have to trust in the people we've chosen for our lives.

No need for him to know about it . I haven't told my close friends only one , but she is my very best friend that encouraged me to have the surgery done and I asked her not to tell anyone. And I am not thinking of telling any one else . My parents and siblings know but that is all .

And since now you are not staying with him and spending the first couple of weeks with your family. So it shall pass and no one should know . And just say I am on a diet and I had a personal trainer to help me loose the weight.

Best of luck

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I for myself am telling no one. Every single person I know who underwent surgery had so much negativity. I have told one friend and of course my husband. My kids know nothing of bariatrics so they don't know. And my family is not around that much. It's just a personal decision. You know how much you can handle and what other things might really bother you.

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Tell him you're on a really strict diet. You don't have to tell anyone anything. Only my fiance and mom know about my surgery. No one else knows, not my job, no other family members, or friends. Don't tell him.

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I think it would be hard to hide. I am ten weeks out and cleared to eat anything but can tolerate almost nothing. Protein shakes and powder are everywhere and I don't even sit down to eat anymore ( why sit down and get a plate for one bite)

Good luck to you. I am struggling as well with who to tell. I hate to feel like I am lying- I also had a friend who did the surgery and said she just started working out and not eating much ( also true) but all of her friends and others think she had the surgery and wonder why she won't tell them . Sigh- hard choice I know.

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@@blizair09

I also had my gallbladder removed so I told him it was because of that.

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch

I was on a 2 week preop diet where I was allowed to eat 100g of Protein & 2 cups of vegies for dinner. So I just told him I was cutting portions etc.

Thanks so much to everyone for your opinions and advice. I really appreciate it.

I think I will hold off telling him for as long as I can. I hate lying but I'd rather lie than have everyone find out.

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Only if you want to.

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