my journey

On January 11th following my husband's back surgery- I went home after a very long day that included working overnight at the hospital- I went home and got in the bathtub that I barely fit in. That's right- I barely fit in the tub- and if you ask my daughter I was stuck in the tub- I was not- but still. I got out of the tub almost in tears. How could I have let myself get so out of control? How did this happen. I had literally doubled in size since graduating from high school 19 years ago. How do you gain 140 lbs? I have a million excuses; freshman 30 (it was 40 for me); two kids (another 60 lbs) nursing school (another 40 lbs)- but that really isn't the reason is it? It is a lifetime of bad decisions ie not eating the right foods and not exercising. I couldn't take it anymore. I started researching WLS and came across the gastric sleeve. The next day I called the insurance company and they set me up with the information I needed. On February 12th I went to my first weight loss meeting at the surgeon's. I got all of the information and started the program which included, labs, a sleep study (followed by cpap compliancy), a pulmonary function test, xrays, H pylori testing, an echo, a stress test, 6 months on a doctor assisted diet, a psych evaluation, and therapy as ordered per the psychiatrist. Did I forget to mention that I am as healthy as a morbidly obese person can be? no hypertension, no high cholesterol, no diabetes, no musculoskeletal disabilities- I had done 5k's (I did, however, fail my sleep study) but that was all. Now 9 months later and I have finally been approved!!!! My surgery date is January 11th (exactly 1 year after making the decision- how ironic is that?) I am excited and scared all wrapped into one. Let me clarify, I am not scared of surgery- I am a registered nurse that has worked med/surge and medical telemetry floors- I am very familiar. I am scared to death of failure. But, I am the Little Engine that Could...I keep saying, I think I can I think I can