I'm so tired of friends and family telling me I'm large boned and will never be small. I really am hoping my body will show them different! I'm 5'9 started out at 327 current 303. Surgery set for the 3rd of October. Always hearing about how large boned you are and my height that I'll never be small sucks. It sticks with you. I don't want to be small small but a 14 would be awesome!

Proud Nana of a very handsome grandbaby

I'm so tired of friends and family telling me I'm large boned and will never be small. I really am hoping my body will show them different! I'm 5'9 started out at 327 current 303. Surgery set for the 3rd of October. Always hearing about how large boned you are and my height that I'll never be small sucks. It sticks with you. I don't want to be small small but a 14 would be awesome!

Proud Nana of a very handsome grandbaby

I guess it depends on what your expectations for small are. I am 5'6" and have a friend who is 5'8". She used to bemoan the fact that she would never be able to shop at a petite store like another friend. I told her that unless she chopped her legs off at the knees no matter how much weight she lost she would never shop in a petite a store.

We all have such messed up body expectations for ourselves and for other people.

@DJ's Nana Just concentrate on being a healthy weight! "Small" doesn't mean much - you certainly will never be petite - but you can be sexy, hot, and healthy!!! That sounds way better than "small"!

LOL People told me that. People told me I would look like a bobble head doll with a big head and a little body.

Guess what, I am a lot smaller, totally proportionate.

I have long feet, they used to be long and wide, now they are long, regular and leaning towards narrow.

I still have big hands and long fingers but to my surprise, my wrists are 6.5 inches, down from 8 plus.

I still weigh over 200lbs but I wear a size 12 or a 14, even with F/G cup breasts.

People just can't get out of themselves to think about you being smaller. Some people are malicious and trying to discourage you because they feel they will always be fat and want you to be fat with them, and some people just can't see you as smaller in their mind.

Also, so many people has such skewed views on what a proper size or proportion is. When I talk to my still morbidly obese friend in the south and she tries to me she is "thick" at almost 300 lbs, I just roll my eyes. That isn't thick that is fat as hell. 20-30 lbs over weight is thick.

I like this picture for a lot of reasons.

Also, so many people has such skewed views on what a proper size or proportion is. When I talk to my still morbidly obese friend in the south and she tries to me she is "thick" at almost 300 lbs, I just roll my eyes. That isn't thick that is fat as hell. 20-30 lbs over weight is thick.

And I'm just "chubby"!

I always wanted to be taller because I notice extra weight looked better on women with larger frames. My son's second grade teacher from last year is overweight, but she's adorable! I mean it- big blue eyes, the cutest hair cut, bubbly personality. The same weight on me just looks fat.

I was complaining to my husband about it and he said, "But honey, you're a small framed woman. You're not supposed to be carrying so much extra weight." I'm of average height (5'4"), but was always slim (26 inch waist) until my 30's.

When you are "petite", you can't get away with an extra 5 or 10 pounds because it shows.

I guess the grass is always greener.

"Large-boned" is the oldest excuse for being fat. Large bones are the exception. Most people are "medium-boned," for lack of a better term. Your family has its collective head in the sand. Ignore them and don't you apply adjectives to yourself either. Make losing weight your goal. When you get to that place that you really want to go, you'll walk in the sun... You'll know you've arrived.

it has been amazing to me as the weight comes off to remember how small my frame is under there.

I have no idea where my bones fit as far as averages go, but they are a lot more petite than I remember. which is nice. makes me feel girly!

sometimes it's still quite a shock if I rest my chin in my palm on the desk to feel my jaw without all that fat there.

so you never know what you will find as the weight falls off. you might surprise yourself. although at your height you won't be petite, you'll just be perfectly you.

@@Inner Surfer Girl I too love that picture for so many reasons.

I don't want to be petite. I love my height. They just tell me that my goal of wearing my shirt tucked in with nice jeans and a cute belt will never happen. I will never be small enough to do that. I want to be able to do that. Throw on a pair of cowboy boots that I've never been able to fit into either. I've always been big. Always. Even as a 10 year old I look back at pictures and I was big. So ya my mind fears I never will. Right now I just want healthy. To be able to chase my grandson. To ride rides at the park with my teenage autistic son and to experience life outside and not hidden away.

Proud Nana of a very handsome grandbaby

There's no reason why you can't meet all of those goals!!

Sent from my KFFOWI using the BariatricPal App

"Large-boned" is the oldest excuse for being fat. Large bones are the exception. Most people are "medium-boned," for lack of a better term. Your family has its collective head in the sand. Ignore them and don't you apply adjectives to yourself either. Make losing weight your goal. When you get to that place that you really want to go, you'll walk in the sun... You'll know you've arrived.

This reminds me of a time in my fitness class in college. We measured our wrists to see what our frame size was and it turns out mine is small. I was overweight then (but not as much as I eventually became). There was a classmate who was also on the heavy side and she was angry/jealous because I have a small wrist. Talk about inanity: letting the size of someone else's wrist dictate our emotions is just crazy.

You have to be what you are. Even a close-to-normal weight, I towered over my siblings and was always broad shouldered like the farm girl I was. Tough to be big and awkward when your little sister is extremely petite man bait . I'm looking forward to seeing how different I'll look without the extra weight (God willing!) but I've gotten over trying to be "cute". I can do striking, attractive and have delusions of elegant, but in hindsight, cute was not a look I ever should have aspired to. Big bones? Maybe compared to the women in the family who have to use kids backpacks because they're so narrow in the shoulder. I don't have that ultra petite build.

Only time will tell if I'm actually "big boned" - I could always throw a mean bale of hay - but however I end up looking, I will do my best to rock the hell out of it.

And ignore anyone but the people who already love me as I am

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At 15 1/2 months post-op, 5'10", SW 326, CW 158. I always convinced myself I was "large boned". Turns out, not so much. In fact I feel like I look too thin and haven't had any plastics yet (first round 3 weeks from today!!!). Anyway, one of the comments I get the most is "look how tiny your wrists are". It is so strange to hear.... As far as size, I am down to a 10 pants, medium tops, etc. I never dreamed I would get here and again that is with a lot of extra skin so I can't even imagine what I will look like after my LBL. As far as hiphugger jeans with a shirt tucked in and cowboy boots, YEP and looks fantastic - so don't worry, you may totally get there. But as that picture above shows, everyone's shape is different. Even someone my same height and weight will carry their Wright differently and look different than me. Trust me as you lose, your confidence increases so much in so many ways, that you can rock just about any clothing item you want!!

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@DJ's Nana The family members who tell you this...are they heavy? Are they just jealous of the fact that you now have the ability to do something they can't?

I'm so sorry they're not being more supportive...you WILL be able to get down to a size and weight where you feel comfortable wearing a tucked-in shirt and a cute belt! Heck, I've only lost 50-ish pounds and the difference is amazing! I've gone from a full, flabby size 16 bottoms and 1x tops to size 12 bottoms and medium tops and I'm still 70 lbs from goal. I can't even imagine what that size will be but I KNOW I'll start tucking in my shirts and loving the way I look very very soon Good luck to you!