I told my first surgery lie today. I'm having surgery Oct 10th and starting to prepare things/people for after. So far nobody has asked what the surgery is for, but today someone did! I'm not telling people who are not all that close to me or I think wouldn't be supportive. So I told her I was having a hernia repaired. Unlike a lot of people here, I'm actually not, so it was just a flat out lie. I hate lying!! I felt so awkward. She apologized right away and said "oh I'm sorry, that's personal" probably because I looked so awkward answering her, lol. Anyone else lying? Hope I get more secure with answering. I'm dreading the moment someone says oh I had that done too and want to talk more technical details with me. I better brush up on hernia logistics just in case, lol!

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I unexpectedly had a hernia that had to be repaired during surgery, so now when people ask, I say I had a hernia fixed and I'm not lying!

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I didn't have to "lie" because I really didn't tell people I was having any kind of surgery all and I had basically zero downtime so no one missed me. All my real friends know, so there is no lying to them, everyone else are just random strangers.

You should really rethink considering it "lying". You are protecting your privacy from nosey ass people asking questions that are none of their business. We have HIPPA laws for a reason. Medical issues shouldn't be open issues for people to question, it is so impolite it baffles me that people ask these questions.

"Good manners sometimes means simply putting up with other people's bad manners." H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I had a lap band removed last year. I have a hernia from where it was attached, I've just told people I'm having that repaired which I am during the gastic sleeve. Buy I'm not telling people about the sleeve.

I haven't had to lie yet because I have only told 3 people. I am a really quiet person so I don't really plan on telling very many people.

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It's been thirteen months since I had the VSG, and besides my physicians the only three people who know about it are my parents and my husband. Not my best friend since I was 11, not my brother, not my colleagues. I never discussed having surgery with anyone else, so I didn't have to come up with an explanation. No one else has had a need to know, and I haven't had a need for them to know. If you want to tell people, by all means do so, but if you want to keep it private, know that it's absolutely your prerogative and feel at peace with the decision.

If you're doing a pre-op diet and people ask you about it, you can simply say it's a diet. If you're going to be missing time at work, you can tell people you need to take some personal leave days, or vacation, or sick leave, or whatever. No one at work is entitled to know specifics. You could be taking time off for a host of reasons. I'm about to take time off to have my wisdom teeth removed, and I'm not disclosing that either, even though it's a common surgery. I just don't feel the need. That's all. It's not lying to not disclose healthcare matters, it's keeping something that is personal private. Once you let out something that is private, you can lose control over it because people can tell others, sometimes just by letting it slip out. My concern was that it would mean having to devote energy to explaining the surgery and calming concerns others might have instead of putting my focus into doing everything I needed to be prepared for success. I do get asked a lot about my weight loss now, because I've gotten down to a size 2. I tell people who ask the truth - by using MyFitnessPal to track everything I eat, and biking to work instead of driving.

Best wishes to you!

Edited September 18, 20169 yr by Clementine Sky

I hope to have surgery in November. I don't feel like lying forever so if someone asks I'm just going to say it's personal. I figure most people won't ask again.

I wish I could be tough mysterious person like that! I'm just not that mysterious in real life so they would think something was up, ha!

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I'm keeping it to myself as well. My spouse and adult kids know - no one else. I told work that I'm having my gallbladder out which is true but they don't need to know about the sleeve.

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You don't have to lie, just say "I'm sorry, it's really personal." If it's someone you don't even have to be that polite with, respond "I'm sorry, did you just ask me what kind of surgery I'm having?" in a mildly disbelieving tone.

It's an incredibly rude question to ask and people need to learn that not everything other people do is their business. You are doing them a kindness by reminding them of their manners if you refuse to answer the question. By lying, you are reinforcing their bad behavior plus opening up the possibility that they will figure it out (chances are they will) and come to see you as a liar, which is probably not the way you want people in your life to think of you.

I just used the exact same "excuse" this past week! I have only told my husband and my sister that I am having a VSG, but I have had to tell a few other people that I am having surgery (most to make arrangements at work - I am scheduled for business travel 2.5 weeks after surgery, so I had to tell my boss that I was having surgery vs taking vacation in case I have to cancel the trip). This week, a very well-meaning, concerned person asked if I was okay, and I simple told them that I'm having a hernia repaired. When people start to notice the weight loss and ask questions, my response will only be that I've been working very hard at losing weight (which will be true). In my opinion, using this type of "excuse" allows you to protect your privacy and avoid any drama.

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When I began this journey with my PCP appointment in February, I decided to be transparent with everyone in my life from the beginning. By doing so, I have a whole army of folks that are keeping me accountable to my goal of ridding myself of all of this extra weight. I have found that through my six-month pre-op diet, I have had constant cheerleaders that understand my plight, and as I prepare for surgery in 10 days, these same people are thinking of me and are being understanding of the time I feel that I will need to recover after the surgery before resuming my place in my work and social lives.

To each his/her own on this one, but I have never been good at keeping secrets. I'm the kind of person that has to talk about things to process and move forward, even if it is with a complete stranger at the hotel bar, the Delta SkyClub, or airplane seat next to me...

I told my first surgery lie today. I'm having surgery Oct 10th and starting to prepare things/people for after. So far nobody has asked what the surgery is for, but today someone did! I'm not telling people who are not all that close to me or I think wouldn't be supportive. So I told her I was having a hernia repaired. Unlike a lot of people here, I'm actually not, so it was just a flat out lie. I hate lying!! I felt so awkward. She apologized right away and said "oh I'm sorry, that's personal" probably because I looked so awkward answering her, lol. Anyone else lying? Hope I get more secure with answering. I'm dreading the moment someone says oh I had that done too and want to talk more technical details with me. I better brush up on hernia logistics just in case, lol!

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I did the same thing a couple of days ago....told my first surgery fib! I was quite shocked because I am pretty open with people & I am not at all comfortable with lies. My surgery is on Wednesday, and up until this point I've been quite open and honest with people (I have a blog too!). People who I don't want to know I just don't talk about it with.

The lie happened because I have neighbor who has a group of friends who are involved with a church and they are ALL constantly knocking on my door trying to get my involved in the church also (no means no, I mean it really means that where I'm from...)

They are judgmental freaking passive aggressive stuck up people who only pester me out of ignorance (not because they are kind). They make horrible comments to me with a smile on their face. ANYWAY, long story short they had been harassing me relentlessly about doing some church related thing this week and because my no obviously means nothing to them in frustration I blurted out that I couldn't because I'm having surgery....

Well then came the relentless "why" questions & in a moment of weakness and because I have to live near this annoying person I lied and said it was for a hernia. I feel weak and pathetic.

I don't believe for a second there is any shame in weightloss surgery - but I don't want to deal with prejudice from people who I know will think it's shameful. Arg!

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I told my first surgery lie today. I'm having surgery Oct 10th and starting to prepare things/people for after. So far nobody has asked what the surgery is for, but today someone did! I'm not telling people who are not all that close to me or I think wouldn't be supportive. So I told her I was having a hernia repaired. Unlike a lot of people here, I'm actually not, so it was just a flat out lie. I hate lying!! I felt so awkward. She apologized right away and said "oh I'm sorry, that's personal" probably because I looked so awkward answering her, lol. Anyone else lying? Hope I get more secure with answering. I'm dreading the moment someone says oh I had that done too and want to talk more technical details with me. I better brush up on hernia logistics just in case, lol!

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I did the same thing a couple of days ago....told my first surgery fib! I was quite shocked because I am pretty open with people & I am not at all comfortable with lies. My surgery is on Wednesday, and up until this point I've been quite open and honest with people (I have a blog too!). People who I don't want to know I just don't talk about it with.

The lie happened because I have neighbor who has a group of friends who are involved with a church and they are ALL constantly knocking on my door trying to get my involved in the church also (no means no, I mean it really means that where I'm from...)

They are judgmental freaking passive aggressive stuck up people who only pester me out of ignorance (not because they are kind). They make horrible comments to me with a smile on their face. ANYWAY, long story short they had been harassing me relentlessly about doing some church related thing this week and because my no obviously means nothing to them in frustration I blurted out that I couldn't because I'm having surgery....

Well then came the relentless "why" questions & in a moment of weakness and because I have to live near this annoying person I lied and said it was for a hernia. I feel weak and pathetic.

I don't believe for a second there is any shame in weightloss surgery - but I don't want to deal with prejudice from people who I know will think it's shameful. Arg!

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I don't think it was weak or pathetic at all. You were being pestered but still had the wisdom to not just blurt out the whole truth to people who would have abused you for it. If they knew you were having WLS, it sounds like they're the type would make it as much about themselves as about you, gossiping, inventing ways to "help" you that were really about being nosy.

I'd consider not answering the door as much. You're not obligated it to answer it just because they come knocking. For all they know you could be on an important phone call, in the shower, whatever.

Thankyou this comment made me feel better!!!

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@@katie09/21/2016 - I would have done the EXACT same thing! You don't owe anyone details from your personal life, particularly not people whom you don't expect have your best interest at heart. Do what you need to do to protect yourself from negativity - if you're anything like me, I have enough negativity of my own to battle without absorbing any from others. More importantly, it looks like your surgery is coming up in a few days - best of luck for an easy surgery and a quick recovery!

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