katie09/21/2016

Looking at my journey over the past decade-plus, I can see the fallout from my terrible mentality of weight loss at any cost. But, really, at what cost? At the cost of my sanity? At the cost of my self-esteem? At the cost of my health?

People say you have nothing if you don’t have your health, and as I get older, that truth can no longer be ignored.


When I had my roux-n-y gastric bypass surgery in 2005, my goal was to lose weight. Specifically, I wanted to lose 225 pounds.

At just over five feet tall and 343 pounds, I was super morbidly obese. Those are the facts, but what is also true is that my weight has been the bane of my existence for my entire life. Or, at least, since I was about three years old, when I first realized that my weight fell on the less socially “acceptable” end of the spectrum.

So, yes, weight loss was the goal I set for myself, but what I see now is that all I really wanted was to slip into the spectrum of acceptability enjoyed by women who wear single digit jeans. It was about fitting in. It was about not standing out. It was about being “normal.”

At no point was it ever really about being healthy.

In the two years after my surgery, I dedicated my days to working out and eating as little as possible. Ultimately, I lost 201 pounds. It wasn’t the hoped for 225, but I was a size eight - victory, right?

Not exactly. Even at a size eight, I struggled with body acceptance. I still felt like a fish out of water and worse, I couldn’t seem to sync up with the woman in the mirror. I had a new body, but I didn’t feel like “me” anymore.

And worse still, I didn’t feel healthy. Sure, I’d lost 200 pounds. By all the usual measures (and certainly by societal expectations), I was “cured,” but I felt sick. My energy was low, my sleep was all over the place, and I was incredibly frustrated by a diet that seemed barely sustainable for any length of time.

That diet piece was my fault, of course. So determined to lose the weight, I worked hard to hit my daily protein goal, even if that meant I consumed hard boiled eggs three times a day and literally nothing else. For much of the past 11 years since my surgery, I’ve been riding a roller coaster. I’ve lost and gained weight over and over, the pendulum swinging back and forth and my emotions following. I have suffered serious vitamin deficiencies and still struggle to disconnect guilt from the simple act of eating. In this state of mind, it’s been easy for me to sacrifice overall well being for short-term gain, or in my case, loss.

Despite the fact that I didn’t really feel that great, it still took a while to realize why. When weight loss was the goal, I needed only to focus on the aspects of my new life that supported it: protein, calorie counting, and obsessive exercise.

Health has been the missing piece all along.

Focusing on my health has required a total turnabout. It means that I’ve had to reevaluate my goals. I’d lived so much of my life with oversimplified ideals: thin equals good, fat equals bad. The reality is more complex, as it so often is.

Looking at my journey over the past decade-plus, I can see the fallout from my terrible mentality of weight loss at any cost. But, at what cost really? At the cost of my sanity? At the cost of my self-esteem? At the cost of my health?

People say you have nothing if you don’t have your health, and as I get older, that truth can no longer be ignored.

Today, I am 89 pounds heavier than my lowest post-op weight. Typing those words makes the old me cringe… I feel waves of embarrassment, shame, anger, frustration, and the ever useless guilt.

The new part of me, the one I am working to healthfully feed mind, body, and soul, feels hope. I feel hope because I remember the young woman that weighed 138 pounds, and I know that I was less healthy standing on that scale back then than I am today in my double digit jeans. This new woman I see in the mirror still wants to lose weight, but as a byproduct of a healthy life.

Health has become my personal mission. I wasted a lot of time hating myself to obesity and then hating myself thin. My plan now is to love myself healthy. To do all that I do in the pursuit of weight loss and health with kindness to the woman in the mirror, no matter how she looks.

If any of what I’ve written resonates, I hope you too can break free. My wish for you is that as you walk your own path, you keep your eyes trained on your health goals and not simply on the scale.

Fat shaming adds insult to injury when you are obese or you have had weight loss surgery. Life is already difficult enough without the extra challenges of fat shaming. You may have health conditions, trouble moving and low energy levels if you are overweight. After weight loss surgery, you need to watch every aspect of your diet and lifestyle.


Anyone who has struggled with weight can have low self-esteem and feel insecure at times. So why must you face “fat shaming,” too? Nobody should be forced to experience fat shaming, but unfortunately, it is a reality. It is a way of making people feel bad about their weight, often through subtle or less subtle passively aggressive words or actions. Here is some information about what it is and how you can fight it
Why It Hurts
Fat shaming hurts emotionally. It involved people judging you negatively for your appearance. Worse, they feel that you have no right to be at peace with who you are. Having others let you know day after day that you should feel inferior can drag you down, and that’s unfair.
Think about an experience so many of us have had, and often on a weekly or even daily basis. When you order in a restaurant or check out at the grocery store, have you ever suspected that the server is thinking, “Why is this lady ordering a salad? She clearly eats way more than that at home.”
Or do you see the skinny person in line behind you at the supermarket look at your cart and think, “She’d be better off skipping the Froot Loops and sticking to lettuce” (never mind that the cereal is for your kids). The fat shaming may be less subtle. “Excuse me, ma’am, but are you sure you should be buying that pasta? Should you stock up on celery sticks instead?” What nerve!
Fat shaming can even hurt in practical ways. Take jobs, for example. Have you ever walked into a job interview only to see the interviewer look at you with disdain, so you know you’re not going to get the job because of your weight?
How Bad It’s Gotten (Hint: There’s an App for That)
Fat shaming is pervasive in our society. People don’t even realize it’s there. It’s just accepted that fat people are somewhat subhuman. Even doctors often assume that your obesity is your fault. “Just stop eating,” people say. No matter what they see you do in public – order broiled fish and broccoli at lunch, hit the gym every day, and faithfully chug your 8 glasses of water – they assume you’re ordering a couple of value meals at the drive-through on the way home, and curling up with a box of doughnuts every night.
Fat shaming is so accepted in our society that there are even apps to promote it. They may show you what someone looks like when they’re a few pounds heavier (oh, the horror!), just to scare you away. The thing is, these shame campaigns don’t work.
In fact, they even lead people to eat more because they feel inadequate. People who experience fat shaming are more likely to gain weight. And, if their doctors are doing it – which happens with shocking frequency – they may not seek or receive the medical care they deserve and need. The Obesity Action Coalition (OAC) is calling for tech giants to remove these apps from the market.
What Leads to Fat Shaming?
Fat shaming comes from the assumption that overweight people are not people. Fat shamers believe overweight people do not deserve respect. They just eat too much because they’re too lazy to eat right and exercise. Fat shaming can also come up out of a sense of insecurity on the part of the fat shamer. It’s a lot easier to point out the flaws of someone who’s overweight than to acknowledge one’s own shortcomings. Fat shaming is hurtful, and it needs to stop now!
Pledge to Join the Fight
You can sign up to join the growing movement against fat shaming. The Weight Loss Surgery Foundation of America (WLSFA) is sponsoring a challenge to fight fat shaming. You can sign up to post videos, pledge to stand up against fat shaming, and join the growing movement. You can get more information and resources from WLSFA
Be the Change
You can also work every day on your own to fight fat shaming. The WLSFA suggests vowing to fight ignorance with education and speaking up for others who are facing fat shaming. You can also vow to treat all people with respect because you know what it is to be treated disrespectfully for no reason.
Fat shaming is deeply rooted in our society, and it hurts. You can fight this unfair practice by pledging with the WLSFA or taking your own steps to embrace your body, stand up for anyone who needs it, and love others, no matter who they are or what they look like.

When you decide to get weight loss surgery, you join a unique community. Bariatric patients have a lot in common. We’ve struggled with weight for years. We’ve been unable to keep the weight off with regular diets and exercise. And now, we’re bound to each other by a special bond: the weight loss surgery.


Weight loss surgery is for life. The journey isn’t easy, but I believe that the best way to make it work is to take the best of both worlds. Recognize that we are bound to each other through our weight loss surgery, but don’t let that special tie isolate you from everyone who has not had weight loss surgery. Instead, recognizing the similarities in all of our lives can make our own challenges easier to overcome.
These are some of the things we all share, weight loss surgery or not. For each, there are some unique aspects for bariatric patients, but also parallels with everyone else.
We all have a daily struggle.
If you’re overweight, there’s a good chance you’ve looked enviously at people who are at a “normal” weight. You see them walking down the street, maybe wearing a cute outfit that you can only dream of wearing, and wish you had it as easy as they did. You’re jealous because your own weight problem is visible to the world.
But we all have our own struggles, and you don’t know what is going on in that person’s life. They may face abuse, struggle to pay the bills, suffer from a chronic disease, care for a sick child at home, or work at a job they hate. Just as you struggle every day to eat right and exercise, they may struggle every day to wake up and face their own challenges. Rather than envy them, think of other people as inspiration to get through your day. We are all in this together, doing the best we can with what we have.
We all keep certain things from our bosses.
Many bariatric patients are hesitant to tell our bosses about our surgery. We may fear judgment or retribution. We may just want to keep our personal lives private. It’s not always that easy to keep quiet about Weight Loss Surgery, since we need to eat differently and our appearances change as the weight comes off. There may even be times when we need to leave work because we feel sick or have doctor’s appointments.
But guess what – nobody tells their boss everything about their personal lives. I am certain that all of your coworkers have their own secrets from your boss. Looking just at alcohol abuse, an estimated 15% of the workforce has come to work after drinking or with a hangover! Add to that secrets such as playing hooky to see a sports match, searching for a new job, or living out of a camper to save money, and you can bet that every employee has their own personal issues that they don’t want to publicize to the boss.
We all want to be there for our families (or worry about our futures).
One of the most compelling reasons to get weight loss surgery is to be there. We want to be alive and be healthy for as many years as possible to support our families and get to enjoy them. With obesity, the pressure to improve health is real and personal, since we may already have our own health problems or have seen family members struggle with or die from conditions such as heart disease or diabetes.
But everyone worries about the future. They may worry about their job security, about having enough money for rent and to put the kids through college, and – yes, it’s true – about their health and weight.
We’re all short on time.
Weight loss surgery success is time-consuming, from meal planning and grocery shopping to food prep and measurement, not to mention working out. It takes some sacrifice to get in all those healthy behaviors, especially before they become habits.
But everyone is short on time. We’re all busy with work, school, and family obligations. And that includes diet and exercise commitments, even for people who don’t look like they need to be careful. In fact, the people who are most dedicated to their health are the ones who are best at prioritizing their lives, and making the necessary sacrifices to clear the time to work out and eat right.
We can all use a helping hand.
Hopefully, this article has shown that we’re all in this together. We can all use a helping hand. Within the bariatric community, resources like BariatricPal can give us the chance to ask questions and give advice. Outside, try to remember that giving someone a smile or encouraging word can mean a lot, and possibly make someone’s day a lot easier.

One nutritionist likens eating fruit to consuming Halloween candy. Bariatric Dietitian Elizabeth Anderson weighs in.


Is Eating Fruit Like Eating Candy?
In my opinion as a bariatric dietitian, no.
Is fruit nature’s candy?
Well, I don’t know about you, but I haven’t yet confused blueberries with blue jellybeans.
Many of my post-op WLS clients are nonetheless extremely nervous to incorporate fruit back into their diets.
Some have even been told ‘fruit is dirty’ by their providers.
Most feel they ought to avoid fruit-- like mosquitoes in Florida.
Now I think I know where this is coming from. Many folks with the best intentions believe the sweetness of fruit can prime the appetite-pump for MORE sweets—the high fructose kind.
If you feel fruit might lead you to return to sweets with wild abandon then you are better off skipping it.
But for those of you post op gastric sleeve and bypass clients, fully healed from surgery, and hankering for a small piece of watermelon to beat the heat or a tiny bowl of pineapple while vacationing in Hawaii, I say, enjoy.
When I became a dietitian I took a solemn vow that I would always encourage well-balanced nutrition. To me, that means recommending to my WLS clients: lean proteins, whole grains, fruits and vegetables.
I understand and encourage my clients to limit carbohydrates. I follow the bariatric plate guidelines and suggest 2 tablespoons of starch at lunch and dinner or, about 10 % of these meals.
It’s late summer. This is your opportunity to enjoy the starchy vegetables of the season like sweet potato, fresh summer corn or green peas.
And the delicious fruits of summer like Maine blueberries, Georgia peaches and succulent summer melon—in WLS portions.
Fruits and vegetables, especially the deeply colored varieties like beets, raspberries, kiwi and tomatoes, are packed with disease-fighting antioxidants and nutrients that are so vital to good health.
Plus, the loads of vitamins and minerals in fruits and vegetables are much better absorbed by our bodies than the version we get in supplements.
I know many pre-surgery eating habits need to change after surgery. I sincerely hope that doesn’t mean you have to avoid some of nature’s tastiest treats of the season.