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2 years post op..why am I trying to sabatoge myself?
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I had VDG 10/21/14. Highest weight probably around 230 at 5'3. Day of surgery I was at 199. Current weight is 137. My lowest weight (when I say lowest I mean COMPLETELY naked ) 129. I can slowly feel myself gaining some weight back. I know if I were to stick with the plan I could lose more, but I am mindlessly eating. I want to stop and really get back to my lowest but I don't know how to do it. I can't understand why I am doing this to myself. I walk at lunch during the week and am pretty good at work, but when I get home it is horrible. My biggest fear is gaining my weight back. It is what I think about every morning and night. I'm just feeling down on myself right now. Everyone tells me that I don't need to lose more weight, but they don't understand how it feels to have went through all this and lose the weight, only to start to see the numbers creep back up. It is frightening. That is what it really is. I'm scared.
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