2 years post op..why am I trying to sabatoge myself?

[Jamburd1 31]

I had VDG 10/21/14. Highest weight probably around 230 at 5'3. Day of surgery I was at 199. Current weight is 137. My lowest weight (when I say lowest I mean COMPLETELY naked ) 129. I can slowly feel myself gaining some weight back. I know if I were to stick with the plan I could lose more, but I am mindlessly eating. I want to stop and really get back to my lowest but I don't know how to do it. I can't understand why I am doing this to myself. I walk at lunch during the week and am pretty good at work, but when I get home it is horrible. My biggest fear is gaining my weight back. It is what I think about every morning and night. I'm just feeling down on myself right now. Everyone tells me that I don't need to lose more weight, but they don't understand how it feels to have went through all this and lose the weight, only to start to see the numbers creep back up. It is frightening. That is what it really is. I'm scared.

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[Ebony Rose 133]

It sounds like your in a negative frame of mind. Congratulations on losing the weight, you must feel great trying on new clothes (I can't wait).

You could try some mindfulness videos on YouTube. They could help you to be in the moment more.

Good luck xx

[Pazza 199]

That sounds like a tough spot. Not there yet myself. Still have a lot to loose. Congratulations on your weightloss!

I can totally understand being worried about creeping back up. You've worked hard to get it off.

Might talking to a therapist help?

Maybe changing up workout routine?

Have you had an increase in stress or stressful events?

You were strong enough to get yourself to this point and you are strong enough to keep going. Remind yourself of your strength.

[Healthy_life2 8,319]

@@Jamburd1

This is what life is in maintenance phase. Fear can be your friend..lol

Acknowledge the mindless eating and correct it. (Remove temptation foods. replace them with healthy options)

If I understand you correctly, we are talking an 8 pounds gain right? I give myself a 10 pound bounce range to maintain. When my weight creeps up on the high end of that range I don't feel good about it. I know I have to get the weight back down. Nothing wrong with a healthy fear of gaining to help maintain weight.

When you indulge and have a gain. You will have to put more time in at the gym and get back to basics. (eat healthy, log food, hit Protein and Water goals)

[Smoaklas 2]

start journaling at home when the temptation hits. call a friend to talk out your angst instead of mindlessly eating. accountability is key. be gentle with yourself. take time for self care. don't check out but instead check in with yourself. mindless eating and self medicating with food is an isolating issue. get outside for a walk. journal. call a friend. get in a support group. change your focus from food to what you imagine your best self to be and start moving in that direction. you are worth the very best life! you've come so far. don't let fear dictate self-sabotage. let self-love and nurture gently lead you back to where you were and want to be. look at before photos. journal the feelings that come up for you and how far you've really come!! if you need to get on an anti-depressant do it. I read somewhere "be your own inspiration" in this journey. you are truly an inspiration to those who've watched your journey and transformation. but most of all you are your greatest hero. focus on your accomplishments and the force within that got you there!! xo

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[Kathy812 794]

@@Jamburd1, I can't offer any advice because I am going through the EXACT SAME THING. Our surgery date is almost identical, same weight gain & thought process. It's almost as if you wrote what I've been thinking but was too scared to write.

In the past two months I've gained 8 pounds ( and never made it to goal). Once we get our mind right we can tackle this gain. It is possible, I've seen many people post that on this forum.

@@Smoaklas awesome advice that I will take for myself.

@@Jamburd1 Hang in there and let's do whatever it takes to keep the 8lb gain from becoming 18 lbs. we've been through too much

[Jamburd1 31]

Thanks for the help y'all. I was feeling frustrated yesterday. I know it's really a small amount of gain, but any amount totally freaks me out. Lol.

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[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Are you seeing a counselor or therapist?

Have you talked to your NUT lately about your challenges and concerns?

You may want to consider attending some support group meetings and/or some recovery meetings (like Overeaters Anonymous). You can find meeting lists, podcasts and other resources online at OA.org.

[Cindi_Augustine 99]

Thanks for the help y'all. I was feeling frustrated yesterday. I know it's really a small amount of gain, but any amount totally freaks me out. Lol.

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Yes, it IS a small gain but a HUGE slippery slope. I've been battling it, too. It's pretty normal, but now we have the tools and a choice. I agree that a small bounce weight is perfectly fine, as long as you're ready to jump back into serious control when it reaches the high point. Easier to drop 5 lbs than 50!

Enjoy the occasional treat, but follow a healthy routine 90% of the time and you'll do okay.

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[plum33 17]

I'm having surgery oct 10th and that's my biggest fear to sabotage myself and gain it all back again. Get help now before the numbers start creeping further up.

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