I read some interesting comments today and I wanted to make something really clear.

Out of all these people around the globe that are on this website, there are going to be some of us that have found post op, that this surgery was the wrong decision.

If you want this website to be honest and truthful, a source of good solid information for people considering surgery and a source of support for people post op, then everyone's experiences should be welcome.

The reason's I think this surgery was wrong for me has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with my post op complications!

And as for comments about people who regret their surgeries and have complications because:

• "houses were dirty"

• "they didn't follow instructions"

• "they haven't seen the great results yet"

• "they are just negative people and negative people are more vocal

So, just let me tell you this, some of us simply made a mistake.

We thought this was a good plan, we took advice, did our research, attended the seminars and weigh ins (in my case, two years attending).

We met our surgeons, we discussed our pre existing conditions, we spoke to our family and friends.

I myself have a counsellor, did CBT counselling for the entire two years pre op and am deemed emotionally and mentally sound. (just as an aside, my NHS CBT counsellor did not agree with this surgery).

I checked with my pain mgt team about the efficacy of my medications post op.

And it was still a mistake!

And so what?

It happens. And people like me should be able to explain these things without others trying to negate our admission of this mistake by offering excuses as to why we are unhappy with our decision.

I could have floated onto a cloud, had magical unicorns lick away my stomach, and woke up in paradise fully healed, sipping a cocktail in the sun and I would still tell you that this was a mistake for ME. And for many of my friends.

It doesn't matter how many years post op I get, I will consider this a mistake.

My house is not dirty, I followed instructions to the letter, I consider my bariatric discharge booklet my life guideline and I never variate.

I keep in touch with anyone and everyone in my medical care stream that might be helpful.

And complications happened. And yes, to many of us in our bariatric system. But again, it was not the complications that disturb us.

We all have different reasons for regretting it.

Most of us feel that we were misinformed, which doesn't help. My neighbour regrets her bypass because of her now permanent diarrhea and no improvement in her diabetes. She tells me that she has to think about food most of the day just to keep herself fed (choosing the right foods so as not to vomit), and she could have simply dieted harder if she had known she would have to think of food all day. She is three years post op and she still struggles with dehydration. Her hair never grew back after the initial drop out.

I myself am only 9 weeks post op and have had complications so I can't know what my future holds.

I miss eating quickly and simply in a way that doesn't have to be well thought out.

I want to be able to eat a full salad, maybe even with dressings, without worrying about which component might not agree with me.

I want to be able to eat any kind of meat I want cooked how I want in the quantity I want.

I want to drink beverages with my meals.

I miss a morning coffee or afternoon tea. I miss ice tea. (I know other people can drink it but I can't now).

I don't want to have to plan my food day meticulously or be different from others around me eating.

I want my medications to work again in the way they did pre op to control my fibromyalgia symptoms.

And I have definitely seen weightloss results. As I was lying there starving to death for seven weeks, I have lost all but 20lbs of my expected and required excess weight to satisfy my healthcare team. ( I am still only getting around 500 cals a day in, but have constant diarrhea so who knows how much stays in).

I now look "normal" except for the grey pallor in my skin and the nappy I now have to wear because of fecal incontinence (my IBS-d was totally controlled before surgery).

I am six dress sizes smaller but can only leave my house if I don't eat anything and wear adult protection in case of Water causing an "accident". Or in case I become faint from lack of food and fall.

So I do actually feel that had I read a forum entry like this, I might have thought twice.

And that's a good thing. If people are scared, that's okay. Let them hear more than just "don't worry, I was fine, you will be too!" Because maybe they won't!

So this is not about complications, it's about people.

One size does not fit all. Some of us should have simply accepted our weight, or worked harder to diet it off. Had I taken in only 300 to 500 calories a day for 9 weeks pre op, I would have lost all this weight anyway.

If you are happy, well done! If you are dead set on going ahead, ignore this. If you are a high BMI person (think 600lb life), God bless you, this may save your life, if you are a food addict, I feel your pain.

You will still have to diet post op! You will still have to exercise.

If you are undecided, then simply take a breath, think about it, really examine your food issues. Could you do more to lose weight? Could you move a bit more and eat a bit less?

Anyway, I am where I am and I plan to make the best of what I have left. And I intend to keep making sure that pre op people have a good think and post op people like me have someone they can talk to.

Thanks to everyone who is supporting me.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

No, I was not told about any of this before surgery with the exception of the not eating and drinking together.

The booklet we were given upon discharge was the first time we were given a list of "problem" foods.

And no, I definitely would not have gone ahead had I seen this booklet first.

This totally boggles my mind and I'm sorry you weren't told these very basic things, nor did you find them in your extensive research.

Some people can eat meat, some people can drink tea and coffee, some people can organise quick easy meals. So no amount of research on my part would have revealed that I might not be able to.

"I try different foods frequently and have found that everything has changed. I just don't like food anymore.

I know that eventually I might be able to eat more and better, but I am unsure that I will ever regain an interest in food."

I felt that way for several months after my surgery and have been very grateful for it.

Liking food was a huge contributor to my morbid obesity.

Not liking food so much is a benefit for me. Just being honest.

I'm sorry that you now feel that wls was a mistake. That is a tough place to be in. Like I said, though....it's early in the game and there are many dynamics at play. I can almost guarantee that the whole outlook, ability, capacity, likes, etc is dynamic and remains so. Post-op life comes in phases that are loosely marked by time periods out from surgery date.

No, I was not told about any of this before surgery with the exception of the not eating and drinking together.

The booklet we were given upon discharge was the first time we were given a list of "problem" foods.

And no, I definitely would not have gone ahead had I seen this booklet first.

This totally boggles my mind and I'm sorry you weren't told these very basic things, nor did you find them in your extensive research.

Some people can eat meat, some people can drink tea and coffee, some people can organise quick easy meals. So no amount of research on my part would have revealed that I might not be able to.

But not to be told that your quantities would be limited, that you couldn't eat/drink at the same time and that your actual diet would be far different than "regular" people for the rest of your life?

Sheesh!! MIND BOGGLING.

I sincerely hope you find peace with your decision. I hit the three month mark before I felt somewhat normal, but still struggle with diarrhea and various other complications (stricture). I am definitely not going through what you are, but I do have a small sense of your frustration.

I obviously knew that I would only be able to eat smaller quantities but was told that once we moved through the stages that we would be eating normally, just less.

And reading these forums, that seems to be alot of what is said here.

"Don't worry, once you get this or that many months out, things will be fine!"

As there are alot of Americans posting here, surgical stories are a bit different than the UK people's posts.

There does seem to be alot of people here who can eat alot of things and in quantities that are far beyond the 150 to 200 ml my stomach holds.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

"I try different foods frequently and have found that everything has changed. I just don't like food anymore.

I know that eventually I might be able to eat more and better, but I am unsure that I will ever regain an interest in food."

I felt that way for several months after my surgery and have been very grateful for it.

Liking food was a huge contributor to my morbid obesity.

Not liking food so much is a benefit for me. Just being honest.

I'm sorry that you now feel that wls was a mistake. That is a tough place to be in. Like I said, though....it's early in the game and there are many dynamics at play. I can almost guarantee that the whole outlook, ability, capacity, likes, etc is dynamic and remains so. Post-op life comes in phases that are loosely marked by time periods out from surgery date.

It sounds like this surgery was the right decision for you.

I like that I used to like food. My health conditions need me to be well fed and nutritionally sound. My immune system needs the boost that a good well balanced diet brings. My lack of interest in food feeds into the lethargy of CFS, I simply haven't enough interest to keep my nutritional health up.

I am not sure that my outlook will ever change much about my decision to electively disable myself further.

Regardless of six more weeks, months, years, I will still regard this as an idiot move.

I just wish stomach transplants were available so I could undo this mess!

I will now have to use supplements as food replacements.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I have feeding and non feeding days. Some days I want to eat and can get in 3/4 cup at one time. Most days I'm not a fan of food and can't hold 1/2 cup in a sitting or it comes back up. At your stage, I was lucky to eat 2 tablespoons in a sitting.

Like @@Dub , I am grateful. I no longer live to eat, I eat to live. I am in **no way** denigrating your story. I'm only offering my journey up to those who may be reading, are newly post op, and feeling your frustrations. It can and does get better for the majority of us.

It's only fair to those starting out to know both sides of early complications.

And yes, at your stage, I had to remind myself to eat. I set alarms and would grudgingly eat my scoop of hummus or Beans, not wanting a lick of it, but knowing my body needed it to heal.

I spent this last week in Las Vegas and alcohol aside, I probably ate about 500 calories a day because I was so busy. I still don't always remember to get in my nutrients, I just stopped setting alarms.

Those last two posts are exactly one of the reasons I regret this. And I know everyone seems to want to cloud my feelings about wanting to be my "normal" again with the complications I had post op.

I don't want to forget to eat or only have 500 calories a day.

I can only say yet again, complications have not impacted the fact that I would regret this surgery even if it had gone perfectly.

I don't even think about weightloss.

It was a gamble. That it might help the fibro pain, help the CFS, the IBS. Instead, it made it all worse.

Bad idea.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I figured I ate more than my share in my 40 years and my obesity was putting me at risk for knee, back and health issues. I was pre-diabetic and frankly, tired of being the fattest mom in the room.

It's clearly all about perspective along with the whys of surgery.

Best to you.

Gina, go back & remember what you were experiencing before the surgery. It had to have been bad enuff for u to consider having it done. Like most of us, u had to have been at the point where u didn't know what else to do, having tried so many ways to lose weight & get healthy & none of them working over the long haul.

This wls was the last hope for many of us. Yes we gave up certain things to get healthier. It's all in how u look at things. We forget how bad things used to be...time softens things...like people in abusive relationships that go back to their spouses because "maybe it wasn't that bad". We humans forget what has gotten us to do certain things out of what we deemed necessary at the time. We coat it with the haze of forgetfulness & suddenly it wasn't that bad back then. Be true to yourself & don't knock the past & the decisions you made. You made that decision to help yourself. You made it with all the information available to you at that time.

Ok....so maybe it was the wrong decision for you but you would never have known that unless you lived it. Everyone has said they wished they hadn't done something & if only someone had told them not to do it or had told them the real truth....really? Well geez, if we listen to other people, our world would never advance....how many tries did it get to get the wheel right, or that plane off the ground, or man to the moon,, or medications to figure out what worked for your depression but not for your friends? So many things in life work for some & not for others. Fortunately or unfortunately we all have to experience something for ourselves in order to get the lesson. That's how we learn. How many children listen to their parents who say don't do that or this terrible thing will happen. Or how many adults hear things from others but think, hey, that's their experience? We think we know better, so I don't think someone telling you what you had wished u had heard would have stopped you because at THAT point in time, YOU needed to do something this drastic.

I am sorry your wls made it worse for u, but it has made it better for others. You did what u did out of hope & as I said earlier the past gets foggy when we look back....so quit beating yourself up about what u did & figure out how to go on NOW. Nothing is 100%,...it's up to the person going thru whatever it is they are going thru, to get the help they can & try to make things better for themselves. I have problems, we all do...but you know what??? Having lost 70 lbs I can move more, have more energy, do more, enjoy life more. I have issues with dumping, some foods not agreeing with me. I have issues with not being able to eat a meal as I once did or enjoy it...but that's all transitory to me....because the truth is, the past me made the best decision it could for the me now & no one or no thing would have changed my mind back then because I was at the end of my rope with knee pain, high blood pressure, tiredness, & so many things including shame at going out & doing things I now can do, that I couldn't before because of my weight. It won't work for everyone...just like certain medications will work for one but not another...just like one (wo)mans bottom for an addiction will not be another (wo)mans bottom....so although I feel for you & what u r going thru, You need to stop beating on what happened....there are no guarantees in life with ANYTHING......just do the best you can....like the rest of us.

There HAS to be something the doctor can do to help u so that u don't have to wear a diaper to go out...just keep fighting for the answers. Only when u give up hope, is when u won't find those answers.

I pray you forgive yourself & that these feelings will change & u get better soon. You deserve the best in life, like everyone else in this world & I hope you get there quickly so that your suffering ends.

One last point I should have made....Gina, what would have stopped u of having had the same thing happening as my aunt, whose weight kept going up & up until she was bed ridden & had a colostomy bag? So many people gain so much weight they can't get out of bed or even wipe themselves after a bowel movement, or need to be bathed? Simple things we take for granted...that's what obesity does to you. If you talk to them, they would kill to have your issues....it's all in the way we look at things....sadly there are worse things out there. Just turn on your tv & watch my 600 pound life...that could have been you, without the surgery.

Keep fighting....you will find the remedies you need to correct what has gone wrong. Keep fighting for the answers.

Gina, go back & remember what you were experiencing before the surgery. It had to have been bad enuff for u to consider having it done. Like most of us, u had to have been at the point where u didn't know what else to do, having tried so many ways to lose weight & get healthy & none of them working over the long haul.

This wls was the last hope for many of us. Yes we gave up certain things to get healthier. It's all in how u look at things. We forget how bad things used to be...time softens things...like people in abusive relationships that go back to their spouses because "maybe it wasn't that bad". We humans forget what has gotten us to do certain things out of what we deemed necessary at the time. We coat it with the haze of forgetfulness & suddenly it wasn't that bad back then. Be true to yourself & don't knock the past & the decisions you made. You made that decision to help yourself. You made it with all the information available to you at that time.

Ok....so maybe it was the wrong decision for you but you would never have known that unless you lived it. Everyone has said they wished they hadn't done something & if only someone had told them not to do it or had told them the real truth....really? Well geez, if we listen to other people, our world would never advance....how many tries did it get to get the wheel right, or that plane off the ground, or man to the moon,, or medications to figure out what worked for your depression but not for your friends? So many things in life work for some & not for others. Fortunately or unfortunately we all have to experience something for ourselves in order to get the lesson. That's how we learn. How many children listen to their parents who say don't do that or this terrible thing will happen. Or how many adults hear things from others but think, hey, that's their experience? We think we know better, so I don't think someone telling you what you had wished u had heard would have stopped you because at THAT point in time, YOU needed to do something this drastic.

I am sorry your wls made it worse for u, but it has made it better for others. You did what u did out of hope & as I said earlier the past gets foggy when we look back....so quit beating yourself up about what u did & figure out how to go on NOW. Nothing is 100%,...it's up to the person going thru whatever it is they are going thru, to get the help they can & try to make things better for themselves. I have problems, we all do...but you know what??? Having lost 70 lbs I can move more, have more energy, do more, enjoy life more. I have issues with dumping, some foods not agreeing with me. I have issues with not being able to eat a meal as I once did or enjoy it...but that's all transitory to me....because the truth is, the past me made the best decision it could for the me now & no one or no thing would have changed my mind back then because I was at the end of my rope with knee pain, high blood pressure, tiredness, & so many things including shame at going out & doing things I now can do, that I couldn't before because of my weight. It won't work for everyone...just like certain medications will work for one but not another...just like one (wo)mans bottom for an addiction will not be another (wo)mans bottom....so although I feel for you & what u r going thru, You need to stop beating on what happened....there are no guarantees in life with ANYTHING......just do the best you can....like the rest of us.

There HAS to be something the doctor can do to help u so that u don't have to wear a diaper to go out...just keep fighting for the answers. Only when u give up hope, is when u won't find those answers.

I pray you forgive yourself & that these feelings will change & u get better soon. You deserve the best in life, like everyone else in this world & I hope you get there quickly so that your suffering ends.

I am not "beating myself up" about this decision. I believed what I was told about the good things that might have come from this. And they might have happened, but they didn't. That is no one's fault.

I have accepted my decision, as flawed as it was. I am satisfied that I did all I could to make an educated decision.

I post about it to try and make sure no one else makes the same mistake I did.

I simply want them to make sure that they are not seduced by the idea that this is easy. Believing that life after surgery will be easy and the weight will just magically stay off.

So don't worry about me "beating myself up". Or not making the best of a bad situation. I fully understand that I have no choice but to move on.

That's the point! It's irreversible. Permanent. And if you hate it, tough, you are stuck with it for life.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

One last point I should have made....Gina, what would have stopped u of having had the same thing happening as my aunt, whose weight kept going up & up until she was bed ridden & had a colostomy bag? So many people gain so much weight they can't get out of bed or even wipe themselves after a bowel movement, or need to be bathed? Simple things we take for granted...that's what obesity does to you. If you talk to them, they would kill to have your issues....it's all in the way we look at things....sadly there are worse things out there. Just turn on your tv & watch my 600 pound life...that could have been you, without the surgery.

Keep fighting....you will find the remedies you need to correct what has gone wrong. Keep fighting for the answers.

I wasn't a high BMI patient. In fact several nurses asked me why I was even having surgery. I have already now lost all of the expected weight, 9 weeks out.

My weight wasn't climbing exponentially. I wasn't

pre diabetic. And my BMI had gotten so low that I actually didn't qualify for the wls program when surgery time came.

So no, that was never going to be me.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I wasn't a high BMI patient. In fact several nurses asked me why I was even having surgery. I have already now lost all of the expected weight, 9 weeks out.

My weight wasn't climbing exponentially. I wasn't

pre diabetic. And my BMI had gotten so low that I actually didn't qualify for the wls program when surgery time came.

So no, that was never going to be me.

Sent from my iPhone using the

Your stats say you were 5.2 and 266 pounds. I was 5.3 and 264 pounds. I was a high BMI person according to the doctors I consulted, it's strange that you weren't considered the same.

I see your goal is 125. You lost 136 pounds in 9 weeks? I can definitely see your concern. That's outrageous!

No, my personal goal is 125. The weight my bariatric team expected me to lose is 60% of my excess weight at 31st May.

I weighed 266 lbs when I entered the program. I weighed 225 lbs on the day of surgery. I now weigh around 150 which more than satisfies their requirements and leaves me 25lbs from my ultimate goal weight.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App