Unsupportive fiance

[reinventingme63 3]

Move forward to doing what you think is best for YOUR body and your inner peace and , confidence level. So many people have gone through the same thing, went through with the surgery and BOOM the felt better about themselves, empowered, and their self esteem had gone to a higher level. This will also prove his real feelings about you, as he should be supportive of yoir decision and of your best interest. It could be that he is blocking your blessings for someone who has their best interest in you and is supportive of your wants and needs. His job is risky -- you don't know from day to day if you are going to get a knock on your door telling you that something happened to him in his lone of work. I am side that he likes his job and you support him in his decision to stay on that job. Its good that you are seeing this now because a relationship works both ways and it is not about what HE wants and needs itsbout what benefits you both. So do what it is that makes you happy and content with yourself.

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[Heather I 500]

I believe there are pregnancy/PCOS sub threads on here. From what I have read, WLS seems to drastically improve PCOS and the odds of getting pregnant, and the low-carb diet afterwards especially is helpful for PCOS. I'm no OB-GYN, but PCOS seems to block a lot of women from losing lbs.

I'm glad he's coming around a little bit. Guys are dumb sometimes with the female complications. They have no clue about regular pregnancy, let alone PCOS, gestational diabetes, advanced maternal age, etc., etc., and think you're just being a worrywart about every possible catastrophe.

When people say it's a miracle to have a child, it's true -- so many things can go wrong, and it's amazing when it all goes well. I had my kids at 39 and 40, and if we had more money, we'd have had two more back-to-back. I hated that money and my weight interfered with us having the bigger family we wanted. It was the "responsible" thing to do to stop at two, but we still wish we could have two more. If you want multiple kids, you don't want to have this monkey on your back.

I'm glad you seem firm in your decision. You can come on this site for support. I think everyone on here has faced backlash or undermining comments in some form from people in their lives. Keep your chin up, and think of enjoying an active honeymoon in sexy clothes and starting off pregnant at a healthy starting weight.

Much hugs! Best of luck to you!

[psvzum 81]

Hi Crissyboo

This isn't about your fiance, or anyone else. It's about YOU. Do it for yourself, for your physical and emotional health. I'm sorry you don't have support from those around you. But we're here to support you! Do what's best for you-I'm routing for you!

Do you think your fiance is afraid of you losing weight, getting thin and running off with someone else? It may sound silly but it happens.

People that call RNY "the easy way" don't understand. For me it was the only way.

[Sumaire 75]

My kid (age 33) is unsupportive, but I've been my normal, stubborn self, and have let her know I am doing this for ME, not HER.

I'm preop, and she still makes comments, but I make a point of ignoring them.

Good luck and continue to stick up for your own health.

Tell him to imagine carrying two 40 pound bags of dog food that he is incapable of putting down. Then tell him to multiply that number to match how obese you are. That's what your body carries everyday, and you need a tool to help you get rid of them.

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[skinnylatte 5]

No matter how. Much u explain they can't understand what this means the whole point of bypass surgery they don't realize what is happening to your insides

[lindaras22 22]

Queen freak good advice u need to help your self .. I never real told any one and my surgery is 10/17 This is for me

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[tiffanyjo 12]

Anyone who has researched gastric bypass or sleeve knows it is not the easy way out. Sounds as if he maybe ignorant and needs to go to an informative seminar. Talk with your pcp and decide what you need to do for you. This is tour path, no one else's. If he is not willing to go to a seminar to learn more find a supportive friend or family member who is willing to be there for you no matter what. Good luck and god bless

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[tiffanyjo 12]

*Your path

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[cdeisroth 420]

Your life, your journey, your health. This is not about anyone else, you have to do what is best for you. Please do not let others dictate your happiness and health, only you can do that.

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[FunkyMunkyBrat 205]

Recently I told my fiancé about me wanting to get gastric bypass and since then he's been unsupportive. He doesn't think I need to get it done and he thinks I'm trying to take "the easy way out". I went through this whole process about me wanting to get surgery in 2013 and I opted not to because of the people in my surrounding not supporting me or talking negatively about it. I thought then that maybe I was trying to take the easy way out, so I didn't finish the process. I was able to lose weight on my own with healthy eating and exercise and around the time that I was deciding that I wanted to get surgery the first time I met my fiancé.

I felt bad because we were staring to get close and things started to move quickly and I was lying about what "doctors" appointments I was going to and I just kept thinking what if I got through the surgery, How am I going to tell him? Whose going to take care of me when I get out?So that ship sinked quickly. Fast word three years later we're still together, but in the past 3 years I've gained the 50 pounds back that I lost. I am tired of listening to everyones opinions about me getting surgery. I feel like if I get the surgery my relationship with my fiancé will end. He just thinks so negatively about it and it sucks. My sister has reservations about it as well and she still doesn't think I should do it like my fiancé and she is in between on the support side, but she told me she will be there for me with whatever I decide to do.

I haven't told my mom or dad or my other sister about it. I don't think I want to either. Its just so hard doing this a second time around with little to no support.

Ask him is he gonna stick around and take care of you when you get a little older and can't get around cuz your body hurts or feed you all your medicine you need to be on.. You need to do what's best for you.. Try to explain clearly your reasons.. Is he maybe insecure that you'll love weight and not want to be with him anymore? Some people get insecure and concerned that their s/o might leave them

Munky

[Havasumoma 250]

My husband doesn't like change EVER. This will be no different and will have the added worry of major surgery. He worries enough for several people. It isn't that he doesn't support me or believe my health and wellbeing will improve. He just has a lot of anxiety. I'm doing everything I can to include him in the process. He goes to my appointments and reads all the handouts and takes me to get tests done and we talk. And talk. And talk. And talk. He knows I will do what I believe is best for me AND I know he will worry. We are who we are. It will all turn out fine in the end.

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[Joy@boman 151]

I had to decide to tell no one but my husband, not even my teen kids because every person I have talked to has said how vicious people were to them. I do not have a supportive family at all. I know how you feel. My doctor summed it up for me and said I was extending my life and avoiding diabetes and other complications. This is a big choice and I would never tell people to do it because there are risks but you stay true to yourself. No one lives in your body.

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[Mindy78 372]

My husband doesn't like change EVER. This will be no different and will have the added worry of major surgery. He worries enough for several people. It isn't that he doesn't support me or believe my health and wellbeing will improve. He just has a lot of anxiety. I'm doing everything I can to include him in the process. He goes to my appointments and reads all the handouts and takes me to get tests done and we talk. And talk. And talk. And talk. He knows I will do what I believe is best for me AND I know he will worry. We are who we are. It will all turn out fine in the end.

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Your husband sounds like my fiancé. He was just so worried he'd lose me. Surgery anxiety. He's been in my corner and held me accountable, been my nurse and my biggest fan. Surgery was Oct 3rd. Before that he did try to change my mind though, but respected my decision.

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[newjerseygirl60 45]

Well Crissyboo it is like this you can not live 2 lives you can only live one and you have to choose which life you want to live his or yours!

[newjerseygirl60 45]

It is like telling a Alcoholic not to go to AA or a drug addict not to go to drug rehab it is a illness so is obesity. They could not stop on there own they needed some help this is no different. Maybe if they tried and go with you to a support meeting to see what it is really all about to get a full understanding they would not be so quick to judge. People need to walk a mile in other peoples situation before passing judgement. And Beside love ones are suppose to be the least judgemental of all they love you and should stand by you and be understanding! When I told my family they were like when where which surgery are you doing they were on it and I am getting a revision from lapband to bypass so this is my 2nd and last surgery!