I feel fairly confident to say last week was the worst week of my life. and I am pretty sure this coming week will come second. a week ago Saturday my daddy was killed in a tractor accident on the farm. it was sudden and horrifying.

I have no idea how I even continued to breathe last week much less follow a program.Thankful for that restriction helping me, and that I kind of auto pilot and go to Protein first when it was available. I had determined to just eat whatever people brought to the house and not add to my mama's stress but needing special things. and to drink enough to not get dehydrated - she had enough on her. I walked a lot on the farm, and some on the beach nearby but didn't track anything or worry about any of that stuff. was not capable. don't really know if I am capable of giving that my mental attention now.

but now I am back home, fixing my own foods and it is time to get back with the program and back on plan. Weigh in this morning showed just slight loss and that's good.

I wonder how much extreme emotional stress will affect this journey.

on the positive side my uncle (who I posted about as my inspiration) and I had a nice long visit the evening after the funeral. Daddy was his only brother. He had the sleeve done about 2+ years ago. He told me how proud he is of me and my progress and we shared our surgery stories. he has lost 130 #. His wife of 48 years, my Aunt Loretta died just 5 weeks ago. a lot of hugs and sweet words.

And my Aunt Diane asked me a lot of questions about WLS as she and my cousin Don are considering it. They have both struggled with weight their whole lives.

Everyone said how glad they are that I am not struggling with diabetes anymore and how I am starting to look like the girl they remember before I got heavy.

I am not sure how I can try to put back a life together that has any sense of normality. one day at a time I guess.

I know some of you have had major life stresses happen during your active weight loss phase - were you successful in getting back on task to focus on weight loss/health issues?

Sorry to hear of your loss.

Sorry for your loss. Your father would be so proud of you and want you to keep going on the path you started.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

My condolences to you and your family. Death is something that is never easy to deal with.

I wouldn't put too much pressure on yourself, try to make good choices, but there is no need to feel guilty or stress yourself this early after the loss of your father.

Be kind to yourself, let your wounds heal, give yourself a some leniency and allow yourself to go through the grieving process.

My advice is to make the "better choice", choose the healthier option of what is available... unfortunately life does not stop when we have wls, there will be times when it is harder to stick to our plan, but as long as you have it in the back of your mind, and do not allow yourself to fall completely off the wagon, everything will become easier with time.

Be mindful not to try and "eat" your emotions, try not to "reward" your feelings.... just take each day as exactly that... one day... if you fail that one day.... try again the next.

I really hope things improve for you... sending lots of warm hugs and comfort your way *hugs*

First, I want to send you my sincere condolences. I know this is a tough time. I wish I had some better words of encouragement! Otherwise, I cannot say it any better than @AussieGirl81. Exactly the words I wanted to say...

thank you friends - and @ Thankfully I am a stress cleaner and a happy eater - so for me the challenge will be making myself eat and drink. probably tomorrow I will do my normal work week prep so I have Snacks and lunches all ready to put in my lunch box and just do my best to make sure I actually eat them every day.

I just do not really "want to" anything - and that is probably normal right now.

Condolences on the loss of your father. So so sorry!!

thank you friends - and @ Thankfully I am a stress cleaner and a happy eater - so for me the challenge will be making myself eat and drink. probably tomorrow I will do my normal work week prep so I have Snacks and lunches all ready to put in my lunch box and just do my best to make sure I actually eat them every day.

I just do not really "want to" anything - and that is probably normal right now.

I think you are on the right track... be prepared and try to eat....

I am the same, i tend to not eat when i am really really sad, but generally I'm an emotional eater otherwise... yes i am a weirdo...

However, you should eat, even if you have to graze all day to get it in, do it.. you will only harm yourself and it will be counterproductive in many ways... it stresses the body, makes you unfocused, will cause you to stall, you lose nutrients... which are things as wls patients we can't afford to have.

Have some small snacks on hand that you can carry with you. eg cheese, deli meat, crudite's etc... perhaps then eating won't seem so overwhelming.

I know some of you have had major life stresses happen during your active weight loss phase - were you successful in getting back on task to focus on weight loss/health issues?

I'm so sorry to hear of your Daddy's passing, @@Christinamo7 . And yes, one survives and recovers from a loss like this one day at a time. Actually, sometimes it's more like one breath at a time.

Since I was sleeved (22.5 months ago) my husband and I have experienced the deaths of an adult child, two elderly parents, and beloved pets, several unexpected surgeries, retirement, two physical relocations, the appearance of cancer in my husband, remission, cancer's reappearance and (last week) remission again.

Some things that have helped me stay focused on myself and my health during all of these stresses include:

* Meditation and deep breathing

* Exercise, including walking and yoga

* My husband's and my love for each other

* Seeing a therapist -- I can't express how helpful this has been!

* (Don't laugh) My Fitness Pal -- this tool reminds me that sometimes the only thing I CAN control is what I eat / drink, which can be quite comforting

* sleep - sometimes with the aid of melatonin or ambien

* Sunlight time every day

* Snuggling with our last surviving pet -- an 18-year-old cat who is equal parts sweetheart and pain in the ass

* Staying active on online WLS forums (here and elsewhere)

* Keeping daily structure in my life (mealtimes, exercise times, housekeeping chores, errands, etc.)

* Doing everything I can to be present in and feeling grateful for THIS moment and stepping away from rumination (obsessing about negative pasts and futures, whether real or imagined)

@@Christinamo7 I am so sorry for the sudden loss of your dad. You said ... "I just do not really "want to" anything - and that is probably normal right now." I feel the same way. I have been dealing with a health issue for my mom and I don't want to do anything either. I feel dull. I feel flat. I cry every day. On 6/20 I came home to find her on the floor in the midst of a stroke. I could have lost her. Right now she is in Rehab and has a very long recovery ahead of her. I don't even want to imagine if it had been worse. I am really just so sorry for your loss......I hope that you are able to stay healthy and be comforted by the friends and family that surround you.

@@Christinamo7

I am so sorry for your loss. I am not particularly close to my father but I would be devastated if something happened to him, so I cannot imagine what you are going through. I will keep you in my thoughts.

Past that, I'm not sure if this is helpful or not, but when I have had stressful times it helps me to remember that I will feel physically better if I give my body nutrition. Stress places a toll on the immune system and you can give your body a little bit of a helping hand if you focus your efforts on feeding it well. If you don't lose weight for a few weeks, this is ok, but if you give your body the nutrients it needs to balance out the immune effect of significant stress, as you recover, you will physically be healthy which is important for your emotional health.

@@Christinamo7

I'm sorry for your loss.

I am deeply sorry to hear about the loss of your father.

I hope the memories of the happier times spent with him keeps you strong during this difficult time.

As an emotional eater, I understand your concerns.

You have done a great job so far on losing your excess body weight. Talk to loved ones and friends (and if necessary a professional) to help you deal with your emotions.

My father passed away a little over a month ago, I can relate to what you are feeling. I knew I needed to be strong and not to turn to food as an emotional crutch; overeating would not bring him back. You will be strong too during this time of mourning.

Edited July 3, 201610 yr by 4MRB4PHOTO

@@Christinamo7 - I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. I too went through a big emotional event during my "honeymoon" phase and I ate on autopilot as I wasn't hungry most of the time. As others have mentioned get food prepped like you have done before and make sure you get something in your body for FUEL. Don't let food be a comfort, turn to your faith and family for that and remember that your BP family "gets" the food/emotional eating struggle and we are here too :]

I am here if you want to talk.Please text me when you can as I lost all of my info about 10 days ago because my phone was beyond retrieving phone numbers.

take care of yourself, your Mom and your family...

[[[[[[[HUG]]]]]]]

jane

So sorry for your loss! Just take it a day at the time. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your father. Three years ago I lost my boyfriend and father within 4 months of each other. Undeniably the worst period of my life. All I can offer you is let yourself grieve and also allow yourself to still experience joy without guilt. That last one was hard for me, for a long time I felt horribly guilty if I had a good day. Also, don't expect to go back to your "normal" state before the loss of your dad. You will never "get over it" - it used to make me so mad when someone would say 'it's been x amount of time, you should be over it already". What will happen is you will figure out how to go on and define your new "normal".

Many hugs to you. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself during this time.