So, for the first time since my surgery in January, I had to go out for supper last night. We had to go to my inlaws for a BBQ.

It was the first time I was going somewhere that I wasn't in control of what food I was going to be eating. I was stressed about it all last week. My husbands family doesn't know I had WLS....and they never will....so I kept playing it out in my head what I should do.

Do I put a bunch of food on my plate and just don't eat most of it?

Do I say "I'm not feeling well today, that's why I didn't eat much"

None of them had seen me yet this year, so they were shocked when I walked in the door, and my weight loss was the topic of the evening. This made it worse because I was sure they were going to keep an eye on what I ate.

They had hamburgers and hot dogs. As soon as my FIL was done cooking them, I grabbed a burger (no bun), a slice of pickle and 2 slices of red peppers and ran out to the deck to sit with the kids. This worked out well because kids don't care what I'm eating. The adults all stayed inside.

I was only able to eat half the burger and half the pickle slice, so I was very happy I didn't have to eat in front of anybody else.

The whole situation just made me feel so uncomfortable.

I'm sure if the family had seen what I ate, they would've thought I was starving myself, and that's why I've lost so much weight.

Just wondering how others have dealt with situations like this?

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First of all, you did good. Smart move to eat with the kids.

Second, this is going to get easier and easier. If you eat really, really slowly (as I'm sure you are) what they'll mostly notice (if they're like my companions) is that you're eating for as LONG as they're eating. They honestly won't remember what you have on your plate. Or even what's left when you get "through eating."

I certainly never did notice how much others ate or how much was left on their plates at the end.

@@rydersmama I think you played it right and hopefully the 2nd time will be a lot less stressful. No one should really be all that concerned about what is on your plate - and if they say anything just say you are eating healthier (end of story). I'm still presurgery and someone recently commented on how healthy I was eating (at work) and I just said "I'm trying". I didn't go into details as to why and that I plan on having WLS. I will be going to my niece's college graduation party on Saturday - and I don't think anyone will pay attention to what I eat (or don't eat). I think because of how much we ate in the past - we assume a normal portion will look like starvation to others.

You could say, "Thanks for your concern. Now let's talk about YOUR weight!"

Good move sitting with the kids.

Good call eating with the kids! I'll have to remember that one.

I'm pretty sure because I'm self-conscious about my new lifestyle, that others notice too...but so far that's not the case for me.I'm only 3.5 weeks out, but have had a couple family gatherings. My sister is the only one that knows about the surgery. Both gatherings I was on the liquid stage. I thought someone may notice what I ate (or didn't eat), but no one batted an eye. Same thing when we went to a friends house last week for happy hour...no one said a word that I wasn't eating apps. I'm pretty sure they thought my Water bottle with crystal light was a mixed drink, so that probably helped