Are Your Family Members Overweight and Which of Them Supported You?

[Alex Brecher 10,486]

I am always interested in the family dynamics surrounding overweight and weight loss surgery. It seems as though there are so many different scenarios. For example, you may be the only overweight person in your immediate family, while the others have no weight struggles. Or maybe you look around at your family and almost see yourself reflected back at you because your parents, siblings, and aunts, uncles, and cousins all are overweight and have been for as long as you can remember.

Beyond the question of who in the family struggles with weight and who doesn’t, it is also interesting to see who supports your WLS decision, who doesn’t, and why. If you’re the only one in your family who may qualify for WLS, your other family members may not understand why you can’t just lose the weight on your own. Or, they may see that you’ve been trying for years, and that you really do need an extra tool to help you lose weight.

If you’re one among many overweight family members, they may support you, and some may have already had the surgery. Or, they may try to convince you that you’re fine at this weight, since that’s where they are.

What is your family situation with respect to weight and WLS? Are many of your family members overweight? Did they support your WLS? If not, and you’ve already gotten WLS, have any of them changed their minds? What convinced them to support you?

[lifeofblair 308]

My mom had the surgery in 2007, so she understood why I wanted it. She didn't want me to have it because of the complications she's had, but she also knew how hard it was to lose the weight and keep it off without surgery. We were really the only overweight people in our family.

[HanSolo1977 261]

My mother and father are both supportive of my decision. Both are overweight. My sister and brother I'm not telling. My sister is very bad off (she needs the surgery far worse than I do) and gets angry/dramatic about any kind of health discussion.

[KristenLe 5,979]

I'm the only obese 1 of 4 children. My Dad has had difficulties with his weight but has been nowhere near as heavy as I am. The obesity definitely comes from his side of the family. My Mom is small. I haven't told either of them yet but will before surgery. I think they'll be supportive. The only family I've told is one of my sisters. She is small and has probably never weighed more than 140lbs but she works at it - eating healthy and exercising. She's been supportive. My brother is "chubby" but that's from an unhealthy lifestyle (built like my Dad too). My other sister is built like my Mom but taller. I'm by far heavier than anyone in my family (also the only one with PCOS).

Edited May 14, 2016 by KristenLe

[Pondlife 42]

I'm the only obese one in my family, my mum is the only person I am telling as my father would be cruel and insulting to say the least.

[Brenda Sherwood 64]

I come from a very obese family...everyone. my mom had bypass but has since passed away (at 62), I had an aunt that could have made it on my 600lb life that passed away in mid 40s, sister had bypass and is now bulimic and underweight, all my cousins and other aunts are big. Ive always been concious of what I eat and never been one to just eat donuts and butter etc...always carefull but still 300lbs. My husband is obese as well, worse than I. All I have here is husband and my 2yr old girl. He does not support my sleeve surgery decision and continues to eat bad. Says we all have an expiration date thats meant to be. I eat perfect for a week then wake up to my favorite Breakfast...his homefries. He doesnt get it. Its so frustrating. Right now battling with insurance to overturn a denial. Told him if it doesnt work Im going to Mexico. He is NOT happy about that.

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Edited May 14, 2016 by Brenda Sherwood

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I am the only obese person in my immediate family. My mom has struggled with weight but seems to be pretty close to normal weight. My parents, my siblings, nieces, nephews, aunts, and uncles, cousins, etc. have all been extremely supportive.

[Valentina 2,642]

Everyone on my mother's side of the family were super obese. My father's side was tall, lanky and cranky. -------all deceased.

All of my siblings know of my WLS. None of them are supportive.

My S.O. (6' 6"/ 300#), John was adamantly against my WLS and committed suicide the morning of my sleeve surgery.

However, my Chinese Crested, Gucci seems to be OK with my decision.

[Kindle 8,667]

My mom is overweight/obese (not morbid obese)

my dad is overweight,

Both brothers normal

my sister is underweight...has been her whole life.

I was the biggest of my immediate family.

My aunts on both sides of my family were all overweight/obese, uncles fairly normal or slightly overweight while most of my cousins, nieces and nephews are at a fairly normal weight range.

Every single one of them supported my decision to have surgery and they are as happy as I am with my success. LOVE MY FAMILY!

[Sajijoma 1,324]

Everyone in my family is super morbidly obese. My parents, my 4 living brothers, my aunts and uncles, and my cousins. There really isn't anyone who isn't at least "obese". None of them support the idea of wls and get enraged when doctors suggest they consider it before their long list of comorbidities does them in, but they would rather die than commit to a lifestyle that doesn't involve drinking soda and eating whatever they want when they want it. For that reason I didn't bother telling them about my choice, but now that family members are seeing pics of me, they are getting upset and making comments that I must be severely ill or anorexic because I've lost so much weight. You would think they would be happy and supportive-but that's never been how my family works and why I keep my distance now.

[SassyNanny 311]

Everyone on my mother's side of the family were super obese. My father's side was tall, lanky and cranky. -------all deceased.

All of my siblings know of my WLS. None of them are supportive.

My S.O. (6' 6"/ 300#), John was adamantly against my WLS and committed suicide the morning of my sleeve surgery.

However, my Chinese Crested, Gucci seems to be OK with my decision.

OMG! I'm so sorry about your husbands decision to leave the planet. I'm glad you and your Chinese Crested Gucci have each other.

[Valentina 2,642]

Everyone on my mother's side of the family were super obese. My father's side was tall, lanky and cranky. -------all deceased.

All of my siblings know of my WLS. None of them are supportive.

My S.O. (6' 6"/ 300#), John was adamantly against my WLS and committed suicide the morning of my sleeve surgery.

However, my Chinese Crested, Gucci seems to be OK with my decision.

OMG! I'm so sorry about your husbands decision to leave the planet. I'm glad you and your Chinese Crested Gucci have each other.

Me too. Thank you.

Gucci and I are quite a team. We are inseparable. He even loves to go surf fishing with me even though the fish I land are ten times bigger than he is.

Seriously though, I honestly don't know if I could have found my way back from my grief without him.

As my bumper sticker says: "Who rescued who?"

[LipstickLady 25,682]

My mom has always been skinny, my dad has always been fit and I'm an only child. I have relatives that have been fat but in a thick way, not morbidly obese. I won that lottery for everyone.

I told my mom and dad and both were supportive.

[kaitlynm 335]

My Mom's side is about 50% obese and my Dads side is pretty normal. Ironically the only one that supported me is my Dad. My Mom and Sister both have significantly uncontrolled diabetes, high BP, and many other health issues and still think my decision was the wrong one. It is frustrating because I would really like my 22 year old niece (sisters girl) to have the surgery, but I don't want to get her Mom mad at me.

[Brenda Sherwood 64]

@@Valentina I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. Its crazy and Im sure did not make your first days very easy, as if they aren't hard enough to begin with.

Im glad to see that Im not alone in that I'm not getting support from those who supposedly love me. My husband and I already have loads and i mean LOADS of problems and I think this will be the final straw if things dont change. Already figuring Ill be single in a few months. Im ok with that though. Bound and determined to be healthy for my 2 yr old. I wanted kids since I was a teen and was unable to get pregnant until 34 (because of husband)so I cherish her so much and want to be there for her as long as I can.

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