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Scared out of my mind
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My surgery is Monday the 9th and everyday that gets closer, the more freaked out I am. I've been so excited about this since October of last year and it's all I've wanted. I was so confident and sure this was it. Now with less then a week until surgery I am completely freaked! I don't want to never enjoy food again. I'm scared of surgery, of the pain. I'm scared it's going to be miserable afterwards. I'm scared of making a mistake. I'm just scared shitless. I know I want to be healthy, I want to be a normal weight, I want to be in control of my weight and eating habits. But right now I am petrified. I'm telling myself i haven't tried dieting hard enough, I'm telling myself this isn't what I want. God I just needed to rant. I feel like I'm losing it. I am so scared.