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Confessional - I'm human, and I don't like it



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I've been less active around the forums lately - I know we all go through it, our interest waxes and wanes.

Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to contribute. Sometimes I feel like I'm just at a different place in my life now, and I'm no longer desperately searching for as much information as I can find.

Someone wrote to me privately recently, and told me that my post about coming out as poly gave her the courage to come out to some of her family as poly. The words that I keep seeing like a flashing neon sign are these: "I really admire you for your authentic living - I am not quite there yet (as evidenced by this private msg and not public on your thread)."

Welllllllll. Time to confess I'm human. And I don't like it one little bit! I've been hovering between 246 and 247 pounds for 17 days now. Am I in a stall? Hell no. I've let things creep back into my life that shouldn't be there. Alcohol. Snacks. Not enough fluids.

I'm human. Make it STOP! Being human is wayyyy overrated!

F**k!

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In my opinion, as far as humans go, you're one of the good ones.

And that's saying a lot coming from me because I hate everyone.

;)

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So, I had to google what a "poly" was, lol, but hey I learned something today! Good for you for writing about that- a lot of people need encouragement to move to a point where they can live more authentically around their family and friends.

Also, I am human too...I had Red Bull for Breakfast and will have goldfish crackers for lunch. Healthy living right there!

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I am sorry to have to break this to you, but your stuck. Unless the time comes when they invent an Avatar that can be an extension of us, a non-human one....your stuck.

You are so lucky to be human! You are so full of beauty, intelligence, flaws, energy, mistakes, forgiveness, choices, a soul and the list goes on and on.....

I was human this morning too, a blueberry bagel I swore I would never touch them again. I did....

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The things that have helped me refocus when I needed to -- because I'm one of the other 7 billion people on this planet who are imperfect -- are:

* Weighing every morning (when I'm not traveling) and tracking it on MFP and reviewing the "Reports" to see how far I've come and other patterns

* Tracking my food on MFP -- no matter what and how much I ate (including what I ate after I got up in the night and ate something else)

* Hanging out on BP -- others' challenges and successes really help me focus. I sure don't fool myself that having lost 100 pounds and being at goal means I have obesity licked yet.

* Getting dressed, making my bed, brushing my teeth -- the little things that, collectively, mean I'm still caring for myself and not turning back into a pre-op slug (hey, I can call myself that -- but you can't ;) )

* Journaling, making lists of my goals

* Going outside, getting sunshine, leaving the house, seeing people (even strangers), working in the garden, petting the cat

* Meditating -- getting those stupid thoughts out of my head and abandoning the past and the future and just sensing the now -- not analysing it, not plotting it, not valuing it, just experiencing it

* Reading good books and good poetry

* Making little ceremonies out of the sweet things of life -- a cup of tea, a piece of fruit, and (because I'm on maintenance, not still losing weight) a finger of single malt scotch -- using the good china, a paper doily, a beautiful glass.

* Looking at old pictures of myself when I was heavier and much unhappier and being justifiably proud of how much better I'm caring for myself these days and how far I've come.

Maybe none of these will ring your bell. But maybe they'll make you think of other things that make you smile and realize you have all the power in the world to achieve your own goals.

You go, Sharon! :)

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You got this Sharon. We all have times when we aren't eating as great to make that weight loss continue or allow weight to creep up during maintenance.

I loved VSGAnn2014 suggestions- those were some good ones. This is a life long process and we are constantly learning and readjusting our diets.

You always have such witty funny comments to contribute here and we miss you when your posts slow down!! Keep them coming.

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I love you guys. And not in that slutty way that we like.

Okay, some of you I do love that way.

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Yup, the human journey ain't a straight line for sure. Thanks so much for your authenticity. It's incredibly helpful for those of us who are in our early weeks and months in sleeve-land.

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Sharon, I could have written this post (sans the poly part, because I don't share well with others). But, I too have seen glimpses of old habits sneak back.... glasses of wine, too many bad carbs, etc. with the accompanying stall. I pick a date to refocus, go back to some Protein powders and stock up on my favorite Protein sources. That works for me until the kids leave a few Hershey's kisses laying around....

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Being a cyborg would have some advantages.....no arthritis.....no need to wear reading glasses......

Human stuff.....It's a daily battle that faces all of us wls folks.

I have to look at Snacks and such that belong to the rest of the family and reach past them to get to my packs of tuna and such. Every so often the desire to grab some of the chips n' salsa at the Mexican restaurants is powerful. I'll cave in and have a few.

I know that full fledged margaritas have been the source of my stalls in the past. I've caved in a number of times and left the Buns on cheeseburgers and sandwiches. It happens.

We get knocked off the horse....and we get up, dust ourselves off and hop back on. Dig the spurs in and get yourself headed back in the right directions.

You'll do it.....even though it's easier to not do it. Accountability is a beyotch sometimes....but self-accountability is sexy as hell. It's a source of power and energy.

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So, I had to google what a "poly" was, lol, but hey I learned something today! Good for you for writing about that- a lot of people need encouragement to move to a point where they can live more authentically around their family and friends.

Also, I am human too...I had Red Bull for Breakfast and will have goldfish crackers for lunch. Healthy living right there!

what on earth is a goldfish cracker? I have all sorts of visions in my head.......

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what on earth is a goldfish cracker? I have all sorts of visions in my head.......

Goldfish crackers: http://www.pepperidgefarm.com/ProductLanding.aspx?catID=722

No goldfish were harmed in the making of those crackers.

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