haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate

[KeepCalm 223]

Well - this thread got hijacked

I've been lucky that most all my co workers have been really supportive of me wanting to have this surgery done - however, my family and friends... not so much - my mom is like you can do it on your own... oh.. really? then why did I get up to 323 - I was active - walked everywhere when I was working or going to school - it was the off days - my butt did not move. anyhow, got the band lost about 60 - 70lbs... and I'm keeping current at that loss just not going any further.

my sister telling her son - aunt mandyis going to have surgery to be small like mommy... uh... yeah I love my sister - but 240lbs is not small... *sighs*

my other sister - doesn't like it because she's scared of something happening to me - she feels the world will end if I'm not in it to catch her... I get it - she lost daddy and big sis was mommy and daddy to her forever... I get it.

roommate - adament that I'm just a lazy stupid bbbbbbbb is very against me doing this - is angry that I've already had the band done... and blah blah - seriously he acts like he's my boyfriend more then my roommate/friend, but thats a whole other issue...

The OP - honestly I HOPE one of my roommate's gfs are stupid enough to say something like that to me... but then I'm not easily offended by stupid comments - I just look at them like they're stupid and laugh.

Edited May 3, 2016 by Raenh

[2goldengirl 2,076]

In future you can use a coworker's favorite expression "dumber than a bag of hammers" to make one's point.

[Tommy Joe 113]

The reason I am fat is due to stuffing crap thrown at me like this and not standing up for myself. Here's your chance to practice becoming the new person you want to be. You might have to fight that voice that says you have to be nice to everyone even if they crap on you...that voice is wrong!

Confront her directly, nicely but firm, and let her know how her words are affecting you. If she says oh I'm just being funny I don't mean anything then say, it doesn't matter what you intend, I don't like those comments and am asking you to stop.

Then if she doesn't you need to take further steps.

Direct confrontation will help you teach yourself that you are as important and worthy as anyone else and you deserve someone, you, who will stick up for you. You will feel powerful in a good way rather than powerless which is the effect of her words. Good luck for you and let's make a group pact on here to stop taking s888 from other people!

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,899]

In future you can use a coworker's favorite expression "dumber than a bag of hammers" to make one's point.

That is not politically correct and a derogatory remark to hammers!

[jea(n__n)ette 98]

Do you have anyone constantly trying to bring you down postop? I have a girl at work, and if I am ever not smiling, not unhappy, just working she says oh she can't eat she's so sad!!HAHAHAHAHAH. I am so not sad I feel great until she starts acting bitchy. I wish no one knew. Is it jealousy or is she just so unhappy she feels the need to put somebody else down? It hurts my feelings, and as a still somewhat emotional eater, it is really not helpful in this journey

Your coworker has low self esteem. The only way she knows how to make herself feel better is to bully and make others feel as low as she is. Ignore her.

Edited May 4, 2016 by jea(n__n)ette

[Samara1974 116]

Wow, I am so sorry. I would actually not say anything to her. Possibly document, time date and place and what she says and then take to HR or Ethics. I agree with others - that type of behavior belongs in Jr. High! I know that we end up working with a wide variety of people at work but this one "takes the cake." My suggestion would be to take the high road and if necessary document so if you end up taking to HR it is not only a "he said she said" situation. Take the high road and keep doing a great job!

I agree with the documentation approach, also if you have a smart phone you can record her comments as well so you can capture the tone of the comments.

Also I am sorry you have to deal with that. it must be a bummer for someone to trying to squash your high. You are going to do great so try to ignore her if you can.

Edited May 4, 2016 by Samara1974

[Chrissy Shay 3]

Just remember you're on a journey. Along the way there are hurdles. Leap and bound beyond the haters and naysayers. In the race someone has to win. Let it be you not the Negative Nancys'

K Love!

Sent from my SM-N900T using the BariatricPal App

[MargieW 4]

I think Avafern is on to something, but I would approach it non-threatening first. Gently confront her about what she says to you. Ask her why she says those things, and then let her know you really don't appreciate them. Is she overweight? Whose statements sound, like insecurities of her own coming out. If she continues or says something nasty when you ask her, then tell her to knock it off or you're going to HR next time. Bullies in the work place will continue to Bully you if you don't stand up to her, so if she is one, take her down.

Sent from my SM-G935V using the BariatricPal App

[bac2u 41]

Do you have anyone constantly trying to bring you down postop? I have a girl at work, and if I am ever not smiling, not unhappy, just working she says oh she can't eat she's so sad!!HAHAHAHAHAH. I am so not sad I feel great until she starts acting bitchy. I wish no one knew. Is it jealousy or is she just so unhappy she feels the need to put somebody else down? It hurts my feelings, and as a still somewhat emotional eater, it is really not helpful in this journey

I think we must have the same coworker. And for the exact reason you just described if I can help it she will never know when I have the surgery.

Sent from my SM-T330NU using the BariatricPal App

[1cutiejulie 72]

U don't have to do her any favors by bringing it to her attention. I don't know who said that they would make ur life hell if u told on them, but shame on them! U wouldn't make my life hell if I told HR. THATS WHAT THEY R THERE FOR. That "bi*ch is an adult and I wouldn't give her a warning. HR would! Sounds to me like that advice came from a bully. Anywhoo...let HR do their job! That's what they get paid to do. That lady isn't stupid. She knows what she's saying is not helping you. She's sayin it to make fun of u. Let her laugh now and cry later. Wave at her as she packs her belongings and heads out the door for good. U don't have to warn anyone about their rude comments. THEY AREN'T STUPID! Nip it in the bud ASAP!

If u fail to plan, u plan to fail.