Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Has this happened to you or am I delusional?



Recommended Posts

Good morning everyone! I hope and pray your journey is going well.

My surgery was Oct 26 and I have lost almost 100 # since my heaviest weight and almost 75 since surgery. I am looking and FEELING great!

Now, enough of the bragging... :)

To my question:

I have noticed at work, in the past, when I made proposals, no matter the situation, certain people would immediately put them down, degrade my knowledge, and more often than not, they would resurface 3-4 months later as their own proposals and the celebrations would begin.

Since my weight loss, my proposals are getting serious consideration and implementation. Even ones 6 months ago that were summarily dismissed and I am reintroducing are being seriously considered.

The only change I can think of is my weight loss.

Am I crazy? Has this happened to anyone else? I have been told my personality hasn't changed and my professionalism is the same.

I know, ride the wave and enjoy but this is nagging at me. I wonder what if I would have lost the weight years ago. Where would I be?

Anyone have work horror/success similar stories?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can't say that exact thing has happened to me (though I am treated generally better overall), but there are a lot of published, peer-reviewed scientific papers out there that show fat people are discriminated against in all sorts of settings: less likely to be hired or promoted (with identical resumes, just based on one including a picture of a fat person and the other a slender person), less likely to be admitted to college (same scenario -- identical application files, just pictures), less likely to have their health concerns taken seriously and treated appropriately by health care providers, less likely (for women) to have doors held open for them -- you get the idea.

A lot of people, even fat people and formerly fat people, will try to blow this off and say it's because you have more confidence, positivity, and outgoingness as a normal-weight person. To me, that's victim-blaming. How can it be about confidence and positivity when the studies show that fat people are discriminated against based merely on a picture of them?

So no, I do not think you are imagining things at all. Fat people are treated terribly by our culture, I am sorry to say.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know the term "privilege" can start up rabid debates.

But if you accept the concept that certain types of human beings are, for a variety of reasons, generally granted "extra points" simply because of their physical attributes, then yes -- society favors those who have the appearance of good health, attractiveness, and (in current-day Western society) the absence of obesity.

Can other personal attributes overcome the societal disadvantages of obesity? Yes, of course.

But eliminate your obesity, and your odds in all societal competitions are improved.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am not in the type of job where this kind of situation could happen to me but no I do not think you are delusional. In fact I feel Bufflehead clearly showed why it is so important for there to be and for us to support organizations like Obesity Action Coalition. There convention this year is in Washington DC and I am hoping to be able to make the trip and take a stand in our Nations Capitol.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree that there is negative behavior against significantly overweight folk. However, I don't think you can dismiss the internal factor so easily. I'm betting you perceive yourself differently, I know I do. When I was this weight many, many years ago I didn't have the level of confidence that I do today. You feel differently about yourself when your weight is going down or maintaining a healthy weight than you do when you are seriously overweight or gaining. So, maybe the only outward thing that has changed is your appearance, but perhaps you are exuding more confidence as well. My $.02.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree that there is negative behavior against significantly overweight folk. However, I don't think you can dismiss the internal factor so easily. I'm betting you perceive yourself differently, I know I do. When I was this weight many, many years ago I didn't have the level of confidence that I do today. You feel differently about yourself when your weight is going down or maintaining a healthy weight than you do when you are seriously overweight or gaining. So, maybe the only outward thing that has changed is your appearance, but perhaps you are exuding more confidence as well. My $.02.

I concur with this. I have found I'm much more confident, much more outgoing, and more social than I was before. Now don't get me wrong, I was no shrinking violet before, but I think along with the other things I'm projecting, the biggest one is happiness. People respond positively to happy people.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'll concur with @@Babbs and add this:

When I was carrying 80-100 pounds more than I do now, I was in constant pain or, at best, great physical discomfort. Moving was so hard. My knees were killing me. My back hurt. My shoulders hurt.

It's hard being that fat. Really, really hard. And those pains and difficulties were visible on my face and through my posture and movement.

Ye gads! I'm so glad I'm not in that situation anymore!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's some of each. No way of knowing how you may be presenting yourself differently, @@besser1961, but you more than likely are. Moreso, though, is that others are now taking you [more] seriously as you fit the images they have of themselves and the image of those they wish to be linked with in the minds of others.

Why waste your time on speculating where you'd be had you lost weight long ago? That was then, this is now. You weren't ready or some such then. Focus on the great, multi-pronged gift you're giving yourself now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • ChunkCat

      I have no clue where to upload this, so I'll put it here. This is pre-op vs the morning of my 6 month appointment! In office I weight 232, that's 88 lbs down since my highest weight, 75 lbs since my surgery weight! I can't believe this jacket fit... I am smaller now than the last time I was this size which the surgeon found really amusing. He's happy with where I am in my weight loss and estimates I'll be around 200 lbs by my 1 year anniversary! My lowest weight as an adult is 195, so that's pretty damn exciting to think I'll be near that at a year. Everything from there will be unknown territory!!

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      I changed my profile image to a molecule of protein. Why? Because I am certain that it saved my life.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • eclarke

      Two years out. Lost 120 , regained 5 lbs. Recently has a bout of Norovirus, lost 7 pounds in two days. Now my stomach feels like it did right after my surgery. Sore, sensitive to even water.  Anyone out there have a similar experience?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Eve411

      April Surgery
      Am I the only struggling to get weight down. I started with weight of 297 and now im 280 but seem to not lose more weight. My nutrtionist told me not to worry about the pounds because I might still be losing inches. However, I do not really see much of a difference is this happen to any of you, if so any tips?
      Thanks
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Well recovering from gallbladder removal was a lot like recovering from the modified duodenal switch surgery, twice in 4 months yay 🥳😭. I'm having to battle cravings for everything i shouldn't have, on top of trying to figure out what happens after i eat something. Sigh, let me fast forward a couple of months when everyday isn't a constant battle and i can function like a normal person again! 😞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×