Who doesn't like a good horror story? As we approach Halloween, it seems like a good time to recount our favorite dating horror story. I hope this will inspire those who are wondering if the grass is greener in the single world to work on their relationships .

I meet most of my dates online. I like to email, text and talk to them on the phone and then eventually meet for a quick coffee date. You would think with all that screening you could figure out who's sane before you go out to dinner. <Sigh>, not always.

I had my first dine and dash last month. We were supposed to just meet for drink, but the conversation got really good and I really liked her company. It's actually a good sign when you can get lost in the conversation for so long, so I suggested we grab dinner.

One of the things she said that "getting her credit back after her ex's irresponsible money habits was important." As things would happen, my main debit card was still at the outside bar, and I used my other one to pay for dinner. Opps, forgot had an automatic payment post and the card was declined, not a problem, I just used the credit card. Bill paid.

I go out to outside bar to settle up, she was following, paid that, turned around and she was gone.

After a few minutes of wandering around looking like an idiot, I texted her to find out where she was so I could say good night.

She texted back, that "I told you credit was important to me, and your card was declined so I left." I told her, "well that took real balls to just take off like that" and then I sent her a bill for her half of the meal and drinks since she was so concerned about my financial condition.

Actually the $70 'she owed me' was probably a cheep price to keep that one out of my life.

Anyone else care to share?

In my first two weeks of online dating:

• 17 men have invited me to anonymous sexual encounters (if this is even a faint whiff of what women experience on these sites, I apologize on behalf of those of my gender who behave this way)
• 9 of the men I've contacted have responded with "And you're not looking for romance with me, right? Just friends?" (Yes, absolutely, definitely!)
• 7 folks have responded "You're 27 and a principal? How dreamy/fancy/ambitious/areyourich..." No, just no.
• 6 women I've contacted have responded with "yeah, I've gotten that 'my wife is gay' line before, not thanks, not looking for a hookup." (Neither am I. And really? Guys use that to get laid? Ew!)
• 5 of the folks I've contacted have been interested in long-term pen-palling (no problem there)
• 4 women have invited me to 'kink parties' (never been, not interested at this time)
• I've met up with 3 folks who seem like they'll make fine friends (I had a blast, I weirdly miss them already).
• 2 of the friend-types I've met up with have, on my ask for a second get-together, felt the need to insist "and it's only friends, right? Right? Right?"

It's exciting, it's fun, it's mind-numbingly terrifying. Mostly, it confirms that I'm absolutely new at this and need practice. And that I love people. And how lonely it is to be 'the boss' at work, in such a public position of community leadership and functionally single - it basically eliminates 'fraternizing' with all of those I spend time with day to day, not to mention that fact that my colleagues are all 20-40 years my senior.

@@Smye Definitely sounds like an adventure! It also sounds like you are approaching it with the right amount of skepticism and humor.

NOTE TO LADIES: Ahem, if you can get a guy to talk for hours, there is a special connection. Don't pass it by. Hint, hint.

Yup! I knew my husband was a keeper when on our second meeting we talked all the way to San Francisco and back (a two hour drive each way). We've been together for almost 15 years now.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Agreed. This is big time truth.

I loved this parody ad on SNL

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3348313/SNL-spoof-sees-desperate-daters-sign-Settl-online-dating-app-women-looking-meet-normal-guys-characteristics-willing-overlook.html

My worst date was probably when I met up with this guy from online and we went to the park. Didn't mind that because it was a beautiful day. As we are walking around and chatting he tries to kiss me. Which I reject but then decides he wants to play "hide and seek." I spent the next 30 minutes looking for him. Until I find him in the part of the park is secluded. Jumping over branches and dead tree stumps, I find him fondling himself. YUCK! He precedes to tell me to come over insinuating we were going to have sex. I immediately leave and find my way home. All the way home, I'm receiving creepy messages and very R rated texts. I'm glad he didn't know where I lived and that I was able to block him! Never used online dating since!!

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

@@Smye I wonder if you are oversharing. HOnestly, if I guy contacted me with the story about the gay wife I'd be like "no thanks". Actually, i wouldn't reply at all. I might even block him. i am just tired of it and have no patience (luckily, I have a boyfriend finally and am not on ANY dating websites as it was not a fun experience after awhile)

A woman I know is desperate to find someone. She wants me to help with her profile and pix since I am happy with a compatible man right now, but I frankly told her that none of that is the problem. The problem is she is still married and still lives with her husband! I realize that in her mind since she wants to be divorced it's like being separated... but I told her I would never date someone in that situation at this point in my life - she is neither separated nor divorced and claiming it isn't really fair. My boyfriend said the same thing - he wouldn't date a woman in that situation. I told her that in truth, when you have those complicated situations, alot of people who are ready for relationships will steer away from it. There are people who will date you, but they are not necessarily seeking that relationship situation.

I have met a couple of men over the years who live with their exs (legally divorced) or live in an apartment over the garage kind of thing. They do it for good reasons (kids, financial matters etc) but - I won't date them and I am sure that I am not alone in this. I just want someone who is free to enjoy life with me, where ever that leads... and so I won't start out with this complicated situation.

So, perhaps consider not sharing all this in a profile. Mention that you are seeking to date, not seeking a committed relationship. Doesn't mean you want to be a manwhore..haha... but it does paint a fairer picture of the situation. then, as you get to know someone, you can share your reasons for seeking a more limited dating expirience.

there are also people who are fine with open marriages, poly - all sorts of scenarios. No judgement from me, but i think I am like many women that would not want to pursue that situation. I don't expect to find that on the mainstream dating websites. If you are open to that - find dating specific sites that target people who are also open and you may find some very nice, fun people.

Good luck - this can be kinda hard

@@CowgirlJane

I hit block immediately on married men. IGAF about their sob stories for why they aren't single. Separated people get the same treatment. I'm not even totally looking for marriage or commitment. I just have no desire to be 2nd best. The mistress life is not for me. And I find it insulting that these men even try to talk to me.

@@OKCPirate

Thank for sharing that video. "He even has a 401K!"

When I was newly single, in 2013 timeframe I dated a man who was separated and actually lived here and his wife was out of state. That was okay for me at the time since I was just dating and finding my footing in the single world. He moved away, but we stayed pals and talked alot on the phone. Last year he asked me "what would it take for you to be back in my life?" He had dated more and realized what a find I was and how we had some similiar life goals etc etc.

He claimed that they were divorced, everyone was free to do their own thing etc. I had alot of hesitancy because he still lives 4 hour drive away, but I really liked him so considered meeting to see if we reconnect.

So, we are making plans for me to go to portland and the topic of getting a hotel room for the weekend comes up. I had the whole - WTF?!? I didn't even ask for an explanation, but I knew he was lying or skimping on the truth regarding his marital or living status. It hurt my feelings because we had become friends and like I said stayed in contact for years and I guess I thought we had a chance at something real. sheesh.

Anyway, this is a show stopper issue for many of us.

@@CowgirlJane

I hit block immediately on married men. IGAF about their sob stories for why they aren't single. Separated people get the same treatment. I'm not even totally looking for marriage or commitment. I just have no desire to be 2nd best. The mistress life is not for me. And I find it insulting that these men even try to talk to me.

@@OKCPirate

Thank for sharing that video. "He even has a 401K!"

@@CowgirlJane

It amazes me how many try it. I think they try it, because it works. Especially with a lot of women over 30 who are lonely and willing to settle, accept anything.

@@CowgirlJane

It amazes me how many try it. I think they try it, because it works. Especially with a lot of women over 30 who are lonely and willing to settle, accept anything.

Ditto for guys. Low self-esteem exists in both sexes.

I have a new one (for those aware of the old one, I finally got that weirdo out of my house, lol...it took him 3 days to find another girl to mooch off of).

Tried a new site and got a response before I finished setting my profile up. He seemed nice! I wanted to be fair because I'm still not thin and my first picture was just my face, so I asked him to go look again since I'd added full body pics and make sure I was what he was expecting. He said he did and it was great! He really liked me! We didn't talk a lot but kept in touch over the course of about a month while both of us had stuff going on and didn't have time. Finally we were supposed to meet on Saturday. I got there, paid for parking, went into the pretentious coffee shop of his choosing, paid for my overpriced "flower scented" coffee and texted him to let him know I was sitting by the front door.

He sends back a message saying he's not interested, and pretty much accused me of trying to lie about what I look like, and he was calling me out on it for my benefit of course. The whole thing was a setup to embarrass me because that's somehow supposed to help me magically be a size 0?!?

Slap in the face after losing this much weight, and the fact that this 40 year old loser put the time and effort into pulling this off just astounds me. What gets me more than anything is that this jerk is supposed to be a teacher. How does he treat the chubby girls in his class?

Between that, the weirdos, and the "sure I want a relationship and a family! Except I really just want a booty call and btw I had a vasectomy" guys, I can't do it anymore. Deleted all my online profiles. I'm tired, lol.

@@roundisashape - My sympathies. I experienced the same thing before surgery (one of the reasons I began the whole journey). It was a great deal of fun to see her again recently at a social event, with my very girlfriend (who happens to be smoking hot IMHO) and she barely recognized me. Hopefully this will motivate you as it did me to get in better shape. It was damn sweet BTW.

Oh wow, that must have felt AWESOME, @@OKCPirate!

@@roundisashape That is absolutely terrible. You think he intentionally set the whole thing up just to insult you? Who has time for that crap! wow, what a loser. I really have an issue with people who go out of their way to insult, "teach a lesson" or whatever to some complete stranger. Like, seriously - get a life dude.

I wasn't dating until I had lost the weight, but haven't found it easy to meet compatible people who I find attractive and we have something to talk about. I found it very helpful to just quit the whole dang thing for awhile and go back with a fresh perspective. One thing that will likely be easier when you get further down the weight loss road is that you will be talking to as many men as you want for that month, not just the one. This last go round I dated several for awhile before I settled on the one I wanted to see. Many would say I didn't wait long enough to even do that, but summer is coming and I don't want to spend my valuable time meeting a bunch of people. I kind of had the attitude that I am willing to give it a go, but at a certain point I am done (at least for now). Its worked out great in that I am seeing someone fun, amazing to talk to and that we are into each other and there is no more dating profiles - woo hoo!