Hello and good morning my friends. Welcome to Banders #7. So, I guess I'll start it off by saying how grateful I am today and every day for the new lease on life that I have. I walked to the office today from the train station. That was something I couldn't do before the surgery. I always say how light I feel and I realized it's not a state of mind, but a physical reality. We are weighed down by the excess weight and all that goes with it. When we don't rumble and jumble as we walk, our steps are lighter. I was listening to my ipod and started to dance a little as I was walking. I'm sure I looked ridiculous, but who cares? When one is thin, even looking ridiculous seems OK.

I am grateful for my for my beautiful grandson who I was able to tuck into my lap last Saturday morning so we could play while Mommy and Daddy got to sleep in a bit. I'm grateful that I fit anywhere and everywhere. No more worrying if I will break a chair, or be able to navigate a booth at the restaurant, or walk down a narrow aisle without having to suck it all in just to get past someone/something.

I'm grateful for my health. I take alot of pills, but many of them are supplements and not prescription for chronic ailments. I'm grateful that I can walk again...that I can swim, bike, climb, and yes....enjoy sex. I am surprised at how flexible I can be now that I'm thin.

I'm grateful that I earn enough money that I can indulge my new found love of shopping. I really think I'm one of the best dressed ladies in the office these days...and I know I've upped the game for others. I am definitely seeing more dresses than I did a year ago.

I'm grateful to Alex for having this site available...and I'm grateful to all the folks on it who are part of my success. I know I would not have been as successful as I have been if not for all of you. I talk about things here that I don't talk to anyone else about. You all know the struggles of being fat, and immobile, and feeling like a failure regardless of what we've accomplished..and I know now how much we 'hidden' people have accomplished. It's helping me to not turn that self hatred towards others still struggling with obesity. It also reminds me that I will always struggle with obesity. Under this thin person still lurks the fat girl. She is the one who whispers in my ear all the time that I'm not worthy of the good things out there and I should just order a pizza and eat the whole thing. She and I clash daily and it's why I still go every Tuesday to the therapist who listens and helps me to navigate this new world I inhabit.

Well...I think I've posted enough for today. Feel free to comment on the above, or share your stories, or say hi, or just lurk. Enjoy your day today...enjoy the upcoming holiday, and looking forward to a wonderfully robust Banders #7 thread.

Liz

Just catching up going to see the Neurologists on the 22nd so they can try to figure out why I am not able to stand and walk and do my normal stuff I do at work went back to work for a week in August , went back to the Doctor amd they took me off again so I went back on Disability , I probably already had mentioned but my memory is So bad.

But that still doesn't stop me from Dancing lol I just don't do some of the moves I was doing to keep up with the younger crowds lol.

But I am trying to look for other work wear I can sit most of the time but I am also kind of afraid because I'm afraid if I'm sitting I will gain what I have worked to get off , I was doing SO good until all this pain came up on me , otherwise things are good with me and it sounds like things are getting on with everyone , sometimes I feel like I am failing then I'm like stop & think why and I do and I know why so I try to stay in my room as much as I can or if I have a few extra bucks then I go couponning lol and that can be from 2 hrs to almost 6 hrs yes it takes time but at least I don't have people asking me am I sure I don't want what they're having for dinner because my family eats a lot of fast food lately .

My Mother lost 10 lbs she stopped drinking soda not as many sweets and goes to bed at a certain time every night so she's trying , I don't know what got in to her but it's hopeful & my oldest Son came by the other day hadn't seen him in a while but I texted him because he turned 33 on the 10th it was good to see him and it looked like he had lost some weight also since I seen him last.

Hi Debbie, so sorry to hear you are suffering back and leg pain. I know how difficult it can be to find the right kind of medical care -- put those professionals to work and don't give up! We've lived in a thirty-year pain scenario for my husband, who was in a serious car accident a long time ago. He's had three huge surgeries (the last one he was in the hospital 24 days). That was four years ago and he now says his back is the best part of him. He has residual leg/food issues (that sciatic nerve does not kid around!) and wears a brace, but we are out of the woods and forever grateful. I was thinking of you the other day because we are going to a dance party next weekend. I'm so excited! My husband will dance a slow one with me if I'm lucky but I will dance all night and look forward to that. Hope things turn around for you soon! Best wishes.

Keep dancing Debbie!

Hi friends. I hope everyone is doing well with the change of seasons. My weight's been bouncing between 176-179 for a couple of months. I know that to lose the next chunk of weight will require even more f ood changes and/or exercise. I guess I'm just not willing to do that right now, but I'm pleased with the progress I made this summer.

Three weeks left until the divorce trial. And it looks like we will be going to trial. I've started house hunting. Such a daunting task. It's hard to "window shop" without a firm budget. But it will happen in due time. It's funny. I left so much stuff behind when I moved in with my mom. And I don't miss any of it. Wherever I end up, it will be sparsely furnished for quite awhile.

I've been soaking up support wherever I can. Therapy, 12-step meetings, c offee, d inner and outings with friends, podcasts, meditation tapes and spiritual readings. As stressed out as I am, I can't help but think how much worse it would be without all those positive things going on.

I've had bouts of insomnia recently, but a little better the last few days.

Anyway, that's where I'm at. Glad to have this group of fellow WLS travelers who understand the extra issues with f ood.

JustWatchMe

Honestly...all you can do during such a stressful time is not go totally off the rails. Keep on with the support system(s) you have in place and know that we have your back as much as possible in this virtual world we are in.

Hi there -- a gorgeous Sunday morning. Just Watch Me, a finish line is finally finally in sight -- we will be thinking of you. That phrase "keep on keeping on" comes to mind. We are in the same weight range and I just looked back at your stats: 124 Pounds, WOW and WOW. Way to go! I would like to enter winter below 175 and work on the next ten pounds -- still not sure where I "should" end up as I am not a skinny-mini and don't want to be too thin. 165 could be the right ballpark for me. We are going on a beach trip and I just ordered up bathing suits to try on and send back what doesn't fit. It was something to go through all the sizing and try to pick out a flattering suit, but it was not emotionally painful. I am actually looking forward to their arrival and trying them on. Having fun clothes is definitely a huge benefit of weight loss.

Good Morning friend.. Today is a rough day for me and my family I lost my wonderful husband of 39 years one year ago . I have been up and down all year due to other losses of close family members so I am hoping the next year will be a better one. On a positive note My best friend and I just got back from Cranbrook, Canada, we stayed at a guest ranch and rode horses all week. It was a great experience and we enjoyed the views of the Canadian Rockies and beautiful rivers. We flew into Montana and spent a few days and went on a tour of Glacier National Park. I actually lost a few lbs while on my trip which makes me happy because I didn't worry about it all week. I ate what I wanted but generally didn't do bad. Had the best elk chili ever in Whitefish Montana. The food at the ranch was great too. I am feeling grateful for my health and weight loss because I chose the band in 2013. Had I not done that this trip would not have been possible for me. Glad to see some cooler weather here in Florida, the weather in Canada and Montana was beautiful and cool. Gave me a chance to wear some winter clothes.

What a beautiful picture! You look spectacular. Truly.

Regarding this date and how it impacts you....yesterday was 22 years that my husband passed away. Once again, my son posted the picture of him bringing his daughter to the grave to pay his respects...and to show Alexis off to him. Obviously I can't compare one year to 22 but what I want to do is give you a glimpse into the future. The anniversary date will not be as raw and difficult as it is now. And as time passes, you may use this date to remind yourself how far you've come and how much you still enjoy life even with him not part of it. I don't mean this in a bad way...I mean this to show you that you must keep enjoying your life...as that is what he would have wanted. I know that's what Alan would have wanted. I live my life hoping he is doing so with me...even if it's as a passenger in my heart. I took great satisfaction that 22 years after Alan passed from this world...his wife is doing great. Living the dream so to speak. I also take the same great satisfaction to see that our children went about their business yesterday spending time with their families and also living their lives as they do every day by being wonderful fathers and husbands. This is a better memorial to him than any words or monuments can say. Hang in there dear heart...I know how hard today is for you. Tomorrow will be the start of a new day, and embrace it with joy and enthusiasm as it's the best way you can honor your husband and the love you shared.

Holding you in my heart.

Liz

Hugs to you, Sharpie and Liz. And Sharpie, you look beautiful.

JustWatchMe

[emoji171]to you sharpie....tough day. Glad you had a wonderful trip!

Hoping Liz' kind words are helpful... She has helped me in the past ...

Our veterans are the most helpful on this long journey.

Happy to read my cyber friends' thoughtful words

(WLS and widowhood)

Thank you all.

You all are so sweet to respond with love and advice. Liz you are right my Bill wanted me to live life as full as possible. he told my best friend to make sure I did all of the things I loved, he knew he was not going to be with me much longer. My daughter and I had coffee this morning and laughed and talked about him and some of the great memories of him we have. It helped her and me get through the day. She took her Dad's death very hard. I hold him in my heart too and try to make him proud of me. I am blessed to have close friends and family to surround me with love. I also have my WLS sisters too. Love you all for caring.

Nothing is final until it's signed, and of course Mr. Wonderful could pull one of his usual games, but as of Friday, we have an unsigned settlement. We are scheduled to sign Monday. Looks like I will be divorced Tuesday morning.

JustWatchMe

I know you will be relieved to have it over. It sounds like it was a very difficult divorce. I only hope health and happiness for you in your new life. Have fun, do things you have always wanted to do. Life is so short and the best might be around the corner. Fingers crossed you will be a free woman on Tuesday.

Well, no surprise. Mr. Wonderful pulled a stunt, refused to sign, made a new list of demands, and there is no agreement as we go into court tomorrow morning. It's in the judge's hands now.

I'm amazingly calm. Did all the preparation I could. Thank you all for your support. I'll carry it with me tomorrow.

JustWatchMe

Well, no surprise. Mr. Wonderful pulled a stunt, refused to sign, made a new list of demands, and there is no agreement as we go into court tomorrow morning. It's in the judge's hands now.

I'm amazingly calm. Did all the preparation I could. Thank you all for your support. I'll carry it with me tomorrow.

JustWatchMe

A friend of mine who is a college professor and a licensed therapist once told me that the opposite of love is not hate but indifference. It's fairly obvious that he still has some emotional investment in this relationship albeit not a loving one. Sounds to me though, that you have come out of this as indifferent. Meaning you are calm as you say and did all you could. It is what it is...let the judge decide and let this be over with and done.

You are amazingly strong and I am beyond impressed that you've done what needed to be done and are moving on with your life. I can't compare as my divorce from husband #2 was amicable, but the sh*tshow that lead up to it was emotionally, financially, and physically draining. It was also freeing and it will be for you too.

Wishing you all the best in this horror show you've been going through.

Liz