I don't know about the rest of you, but I've been obese for a long time. I am in my late fifties, and my question is kind of crazy for my age: What is my "style"? I used to have cute clothes, when I was thinner, but I'm much older now. As a heavy person, I've done my best to dress attractively and with style. But three factors have led me to not love the clothes I've worn for the last many years.

First, feeling so bad about myself has taken away my desire to dress well. I guess I've felt that very little I could do made me look really cute or attractive. Even when I was happy and confident with an outfit, I'd always second-guess myself. Or see a dreaded photo or image in a mirror and be able to focus on nothing but the bumps and rolls.

Second, I've always tried to hide and cover up my fat as much as possible: Spanx, nylons under pants (although I mostly stopped that a couple of years ago), three-quarter or long sleeves, nothing too form-fitting, etc. So, while there were clothes out there I would have loved, I didn't wear them because I didn't think they would look good on my body type or I was too-self-conscious.

And third, of course, is the lack of stylish clothes available for heavier women.

I am so looking forward to being able to buy -- and look good in! -- smaller clothes. And emptying out my closet of all the cheap clothes I bought (and, sadly, a few good pieces that will no longer fit). I plan to shop at thrifts and consignment stores during the weight loss period, but once I reach goal, I want to have a smaller wardrobe -- in both senses of the word! Good-quality pieces that will last and that are versatile. But I find that I'm not sure now what my style is. And I don't want to waste a lot of money buying too many things as I figure it out.

I know this won't be a problem for a lot of people, who seem to have been born with a "look" or style. And actually, "problem" is totally the wrong word. I'm really looking forward to being able to express myself and have fun through clothes. But I don't want to clog up my closet with junk purchased on a whim, and I don't want to waste money buying too many things, especially good pieces that I won't end up wearing long-term.

So, I guess I'd like to know if anyone else experienced this, and how you approached this wonderful, brave new world of getting to buy cute clothes and figuring out your own style? How did you go about building a new wardrobe? Did you cut out or Pinterest looks you liked as you were losing weight? Any other tips?

@,

Feeling the style100%.

I like the edgy punk factor. Love the black. I think I'm going for a "If Lenny Kravitz were a woman" sorta look. LOL Definitely some overlap.

Thanks for sharing.

You think I can wear steam punk skirts to work in an office environment?

You think I can wear steam punk skirts to work in an office environment?

I don't know what kind of office environment you work in. But if you work in a typical corporate organization, you'll certainly "stand out."

So, no.

Eh, I work for the Government.. I have a sleeve tattoo that I'm working on my right arm.. Some people dress up, some wear jeans and tshirts every day.. I would stand out, but I could still look good.

@@MisforMimi I love it! That sounds like a great look!

2 years post-op and I still am deciding on my overall style. I tend to stay with classic styles for work . After leaving the plus size world I was delighted to never see another bedazzled tunic or sparkly t-shirt. Some of the clothing found at Lane Bryant/Torrid/Catherines was expensive but looked cheap to me. My styles leans towards banana Republic/Ann Taylor and I can find deals that look comparable for 1/2 the price at places like H & M and Ross

Do not get stuck dressing only in what is considered as " age appropriate". I am not saying dress like a 16 yr old girl, but be aware that many trendy styles can be adapted to a more mature woman without dipping into the old lady zone.

A great fitting pair of jeans is a worth spending a few extra dollars. As mentioned previously, a good bra and/or Spanx is a godsend. Nothing constricting but a nice shapewear tank is amazing under clingy fabrics. Avoid skin tight clothing as well as oversized, You will have to spend sometime trying all various styles to see what flatters your body type. Also, do not be afraid of color.

Also, from my observation some items that "frumpisize" a woman are :

1) The mid calf wide leg capris in pastel colors. Matched with a boxy capped sleeve t- this outfit screams old lady

2) High waisted jeans

3) Off the shoulder t's with animal print/floral tunics/anything with shells/shiny beading or sequins in the daytime

4) Twinsets /cardigans in matching colors

5) The wrong kind of floral prints

One thing I did was spend a day by myself at the mall. I went and tried clothes all day and took pictures of myself in the dressing room. Try styles you would never have tried, especially for jeans. Focus on your best features. If you have amazing legs, try a shorter cut skirt. If you stick with neutrals try to add a color. There is no pressure to buy either.

Your style will come in time. I look online constantly for ideas and try to adapt to my budget. Enjoy !!!!

Edited August 26, 201510 yr by Bandora

I love twinsets.

And they do not "frump" me.

But I agree with your other suggestions.

I just love this topic. This is the kind of thing I can sit and enjoy thinking about as I move along in my journey. Even though I am not at that point, it motivates me to think about the days to come. My dream style starts as simple as being able to wear a black ribbed turtleneck with jeans. I have actually started a folder for outfit goals that I fill with photos as inspiration for the days ahead.

Overall I would say that my style will be natural. Having said that, it is just as clear to me what I don't want to be my style any more..... no more clothes with flowers. I have sworn them off... and no more embroidery of "stuff" on my shirts or pants either... nada..

@@Miss Mac - Loved your post!

Just read through all the comments on this topic. This is something I am currently obsessed with! I've found a blog that has really helped me, it's http://fiftynotfrumpy.blogspot.com/ For those of us of a "certain age" she has great tips. I'm fortunate in that I have 4 sisters that are all different sizes and I've been able to "shop" in their closets as I've changed sizes. I go to thrift stores, clearance racks, Old Navy, Walmart, etc... but I have gotten much more particular as I've gotten smaller and have more to choose from. Definitely a good problem to have.

Good luck to everyone on this journey of finding the style that suits you!!

P.S. I've also enjoyed playing around on pinterest and the website polyvore.com. Mostly to remind myself of what I want to pair together, but looking at all the ideas too.

Along these lines I guess I will wear whatever covers my excess skin. :-/

I can't wait to be able to shop at Old Navy again!!

Lane Bryant is expensive.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Edited August 27, 201510 yr by tssiemer

I love this topic! I'm 51 and spent the last 3 years at a women's college with primarily traditional age students. I loved seeing the various styles on various shaped bodies. What I loved most was the confidence these young women had wearing their clothes. It brought out my inner wild child/sophisticated mama. I wear clothing based on my mood and the outing. I love my twinsets, boiled wool cardigans, and pencil skirts. I also love my leather pants, denim jackets and flowy maxi-dresses. I tend to dress for the occasion.

. As fall approaches, I have a fabulous long leather coat, think Matrix, that I wear with these awesome chunky heeled boots that have buttons up the front.

I used to sew outfits for myself from outfits I saw in magazines and in the stores. I'm so excited to set up my spare room and do this again. I have some great material that I purchased awhile ago that will be perfect for BoHo chic. Fringe and all!

I book marked the blogs and Pinterest pages....thanks. Will be checking those out too!

I'm nervous about this, too. I've been obese since my junior year of high school and used to have such a cute style..:and now I'm 30, a work-at-home mom, and pretty much exist in oversize tee shirts, hoodies, and you pants. there's so many things I see that I would LOVE to wear, but I don't feel confident enough to try. I'm hoping that changed as the weight comes off.