I don't know about the rest of you, but I've been obese for a long time. I am in my late fifties, and my question is kind of crazy for my age: What is my "style"? I used to have cute clothes, when I was thinner, but I'm much older now. As a heavy person, I've done my best to dress attractively and with style. But three factors have led me to not love the clothes I've worn for the last many years.

First, feeling so bad about myself has taken away my desire to dress well. I guess I've felt that very little I could do made me look really cute or attractive. Even when I was happy and confident with an outfit, I'd always second-guess myself. Or see a dreaded photo or image in a mirror and be able to focus on nothing but the bumps and rolls.

Second, I've always tried to hide and cover up my fat as much as possible: Spanx, nylons under pants (although I mostly stopped that a couple of years ago), three-quarter or long sleeves, nothing too form-fitting, etc. So, while there were clothes out there I would have loved, I didn't wear them because I didn't think they would look good on my body type or I was too-self-conscious.

And third, of course, is the lack of stylish clothes available for heavier women.

I am so looking forward to being able to buy -- and look good in! -- smaller clothes. And emptying out my closet of all the cheap clothes I bought (and, sadly, a few good pieces that will no longer fit). I plan to shop at thrifts and consignment stores during the weight loss period, but once I reach goal, I want to have a smaller wardrobe -- in both senses of the word! Good-quality pieces that will last and that are versatile. But I find that I'm not sure now what my style is. And I don't want to waste a lot of money buying too many things as I figure it out.

I know this won't be a problem for a lot of people, who seem to have been born with a "look" or style. And actually, "problem" is totally the wrong word. I'm really looking forward to being able to express myself and have fun through clothes. But I don't want to clog up my closet with junk purchased on a whim, and I don't want to waste money buying too many things, especially good pieces that I won't end up wearing long-term.

So, I guess I'd like to know if anyone else experienced this, and how you approached this wonderful, brave new world of getting to buy cute clothes and figuring out your own style? How did you go about building a new wardrobe? Did you cut out or Pinterest looks you liked as you were losing weight? Any other tips?

@@swinglifeaway, it really is! I had to forego so much over the years when it comes to style. I will need to remind myself that, yes, I can wear this or that fashion and look good in it when the time comes. I think I know my "style," but because of my size could never really find clothing that reflected it. I want to get away from my jeans and tee shirts (at least for some of the time)!

I'm 51yo and like the leather and lace, the 50's swing dresses, skinny jeans, boot cut, soooo many things. I'm also a pack rat, hoarder and the like. So now that I have thinned so much of my home of the clutter, I don't want to fill it up with "one or two time" clothes. To help with the shopaholic feelings, I go try on a bunch of clothes, take selfies and THEN decide if I really want them. Most of the time...nope! It is soooo much fun to try on clothes I never thought would fit, look good or even wear...then be surprised.

The first picture is a dress I wore to a ball in November. My former co-workers didn't recognize me. The last picture is a dress I bought five years ago and finally wore it for thanksgiving. The middle ones are things I tried on and liked, but not "enough".

@@FinallyFit50s, wow, you sure rock that gorgeous hourglass figure! I love all your outfits, but especially the middle and last ones. (Alas, I never have a reason to wear an evening gown.) I would never have thought of taking selfies of dresses I want to try on but not buy. Think I'll try that out myself. I'm sure my husband will appreciate that the experience is "free"!

@@songsmith thank you! I never ever would have thought there was a waist in this body. I have ALWAYS been an apple or linebacker shape. I asked my surgeon and a gfs surgeon about studies of folks who've had the surgery vs other weight loss methods and body shape. I am still looking for journal articles if anyone knows of any.

Twenty-five years ago was the last time I hit "goal" after diet and serious exercising (work training academy). I was fit and toned...but no waist. Who would believe at 51, you can have an hourglass figure? I actually didn't believe it until I posted asking what my shape is...and it still took a few more weeks to sink in.

Loving my sleeve, my new life AND my new body!

. (Alas, I never have a reason to wear an evening gown.)

You always have a reason: "Because I want to wear an evening dress."

Your assignment: Wear an evening dress or at least a cocktail dress the next time you have leftovers for dinner and stay in to watch TV. After than, take your show on the road.

If you watch the Oscars, dress for the red carpet.

I mean it.

. (Alas, I never have a reason to wear an evening gown.)

You always have a reason: "Because I want to wear an evening dress."

Your assignment: Wear an evening dress or at least a cocktail dress the next time you have leftovers for dinner and stay in to watch TV. After than, take your show on the road.

If you watch the Oscars, dress for the red carpet.

I mean it.

And take pictures!

Glad to! Now if I could just find the extra bucks to buy one! I think a casual maxi is about all I can afford.

@@songsmith -- That's fine as long as you pile on the jewelry, as gaudy and as elegant as you've got. Gaudy and elegant together, as a matter of fact.

One of the many things I am looking into being able to do is to go into a vintage or resale shop and try on cool clothes. Even trying on clothes in a regular boutique or department store without frustration would be fun.

I've lost my mind. I'm sure I replied to this!

@@Inner Surfer Girl, you and me both. I love funky, vintage clothing--boho before boho became in again. I like to call it eclectic. But I could never shop at vintage stores because I was always too large. (The occasional shawl or piece of jewelry was fine.)

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch, I promise to glitz it up with the best of them. I might even achieve supercalifragilisticexpialidocious levels of bling! Shine on, crazy Diamond!

I might even achieve supercalifragilisticexpialidocious levels of bling! Shine on, crazy Diamond!

You already surpass it.

Diamond is my birthstone. Take notes.

I saw the movie for the first time ever this past week on TV. Maybe I'm too old for a first time, but Dick Van Dyke's younger physicality is always a treat.

The past few years my style has been stretchy yoga pants and t-shirts. The bigger I got I didn't even care anymore how I dressed because I was unhappy. I also work from home so I only dressed up and put makeup on for church on Sunday. When I was small I loved NY & Co.

I think I have a pretty good idea of what I like, but just a few of them are:

-Jeans, knee boots, pretty sweaters/flannel shirts for fall/winter

-maxi dresses

-sundresses with cowboy boots

-one piece suits with cute straps in the back

-cute bras and panties

-lingerie (I've only ever bought one piece and it was for my wedding night. I was so horrified at how I looked I never wore it again)

Edited December 17, 201510 yr by Half of Bri

A tip for everyone from my Fashionista friend (who was an Editor at Elle): Bootcut jeans are in, skinnies are out.

Maybe you can talk your friend into guest posting on this topic for us!

Doesn't matter to me though.. I'm short, and I used to ONLY wear bootcut, cause of my wide thighs.. and now skinnies ARE IT FOR ME.. I look good in skinny jeans! and I can wear my boots!

Glad to! Now if I could just find the extra bucks to buy one! I think a casual maxi is about all I can afford.

Clearance prices at JcPenney!

I'm 51yo and like the leather and lace, the 50's swing dresses, skinny jeans, boot cut, soooo many things. I'm also a pack rat, hoarder and the like. So now that I have thinned so much of my home of the clutter, I don't want to fill it up with "one or two time" clothes. To help with the shopaholic feelings, I go try on a bunch of clothes, take selfies and THEN decide if I really want them. Most of the time...nope! It is soooo much fun to try on clothes I never thought would fit, look good or even wear...then be surprised.

The first picture is a dress I wore to a ball in November. My former co-workers didn't recognize me. The last picture is a dress I bought five years ago and finally wore it for thanksgiving. The middle ones are things I tried on and liked, but not "enough".

Woah! You look AMAZING!

I am going through some old magazines and came across this essay. It really captured what I am going through, especially since I spent so many years not being able to dress relatively-stylishly. The challenge for me mentally is balancing my fantasy life and my reality when it comes to dressing.

http://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a10722/coming-of-age-0515/